How to be a supportive wife to an entrepreneurial DH

[Anonymous]

Let me begin by saying that DH ALWAYS said from the time we met he wanted to start his own business. Not sure what or when but he said the dream of his life was to start a company.

I've voiced my dreams to him too and we never really went too far in either direction. He's in IT and I'm a teacher/personal trainer specialized in SN population nannying while DC are not old enough to go to school FT.

FF to 6 years into our relationship and he's finishing his MBA. All of a sudden an old friend reconnected with DH with a business idea and they started reconnecting with other friends. They're all spending the week in CT discussing the plans. DH is txting me every once in a while with pieces and bits of info and he seems so excited! But I don't really know what to do or say. Someone please help me.

I've responded saying things like "that's great" and "can't wait to hear all about it" but I can't go any further. I'm not the entrepreneurial kind and must say I'm a bit scared of the whole experience - my dad owned his own business my uncle too and by what I've seen from both of them it is A LOT of work, stress, very little money and we will only see the results years from now. I have nothing against his dream and want to be supportive. How do I do it?

We're financially secure and we can definitely live with my salary alone - money is not an issue. I don't mind moving to another area and I like the folks he's dealing with. We'v met several times before and they're all in the same stage as DH - finishing or just finished with MBA, pre-school aged children and thinking about babies. When he joined business school I heard all about how being a supportive spouse is important and I think so far I've been doing a great job. His late night calls and lots of reading have been tough more on him I think than on our family. He talks all the time on how he misses family time, etc but we're almost done with. We're all very proud of him. We're doing our best to work around his schedule.

Can you give me a few words of wisdom on this new phase of our lives?

Thanks a lot.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your DH is being responsible, carefully vetting whether or not this plan will work, and is the kind of person who will put in the hard work necessary to make a new business successful. He also has skills he can fall back on if this venture doesn't work out to get another job in IT. Stupid, pointless risk is a bad thing, but calculated risk is what makes for an interesting journey.

It sounds like you also have a level head and respect your DH enough to want him to have the chance to try out a life-long dream, even if you have to make short-term sacrifices.

Keep doing what you are doing. Ask plenty of questions so that you can get comfortable with this new plan for your family, but keep telling him that you think he is up to the task.

You sound like a nice person with a nice marriage. I hope it all works out for your family.

[Anonymous]

Oh thank you, PP. That's so sweet. We do have a nice relatkinship and I want to do my best to keep it up.

Your advice is very reassuring. I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

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[Anonymous]

Are you sure he's not cheating on you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's not cheating on you

OP here. What do you mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he's not cheating on you

This was unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

Entrepreneurs are not made, they're born. Your DH clearly has the DNA to make this work, he just needs you to believe in him.

I started my own business 24 years ago. I'll never work for someone else.

Good luck to him -- and to you!

[Anonymous]

Totally agree those who work for themselves are born. OP, watch out for anyone looking for a big title - and RUN the other way! We had to deal with one once, turns out he was good for nothing (literally), barely showed up, barely produced, was just riding on the smart one's coat tails. He was a n opportunistic joke. Seriously, if it is the case of someone wanting a big title working with (should be "for") DH - R-U-N! I can not emphasize this enough.