Play Dates

[Anonymous]

I was wondering if people set up play dates often for their kids and school friends. My DS is a kindergartener and my husband is always wanting to set up playdates for him. I am all for them but in moderation. I just wonder what is the "norm." Once a month, twice a month? We are both working outside the home and can't set up playdates after school. So, it mostly happens on the weekend and things are always so jammed backed with running around to do errands and then also trying to spend family time together.

[Anonymous]

Play dates should be fun, not another thing to add to your list of things to do.

[Anonymous]

if it helps, they get less and less frequent as kids get older. we've never done weekend playdates because we try to carve weekends out for family (and, increasingly, sports games) and weekday playdates are infrequent because all the kids have different activities etc. they see each other for 6 hours in school, it's enough most of the time

[Anonymous]

It seems to range from once a week to once a month to none depending on the parents and the child's interest at our school. My kindergartener or I have been scheduling them about once a month. That is all I can handle and feel he needs. I may have less next year or have more playdates with the same child.

[Anonymous]

i do a few a month for my son (1st grad). hard for me but he really likes playing with friends. he has several good friends who do not go to his school so this is the only way he sees them. we do fewer with kids from school who he sees all the time....

they are starting to want to do sleepover now!

[Anonymous]

once a month if we have the time

[Anonymous]

Once a month maybe for my first grade son and really only with his friend from preschool who goes to a different school now. He sees enough of his other friends at school and bday parties.

[Anonymous]

We try and schedule play dates on the weekends once or twice a month. The kids have a great time and since they are drop off playdates with the other families return the favor you get 2 hours of "free" time. Our son thrives on them and I enjoy getting to know his friends. Plus since he's an only child it gives him time with other kids instead of mom and dad all the time. When we have sports we also try to schedule playdates even if our weekends are busy. Its been such a positive thing for everyone that I'd do it more often if the other kids weren't so busy as well.

[Anonymous]

I do them 2-3 times a month, but usually with people with whom I am friendly, who have similarly-aged kids. The parents talk and the kids play, so everyone wins. We're doing a playdate with one of my daughter's preschool friends soon - a first for us - and I'm only doing so because I really like the mom and her daughter and mine are best friends at school.

[Anonymous]

OP: Thanks, everyone. This is really helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do them 2-3 times a month, but usually with people with whom I am friendly, who have similarly-aged kids. The parents talk and the kids play, so everyone wins. We're doing a playdate with one of my daughter's preschool friends soon - a first for us - and I'm only doing so because I really like the mom and her daughter and mine are best friends at school.

I have a weekly playdate right after preschool with a group of moms. It's more a wine-date for the moms.

I have a monthly playdate with another neighboorhood group.

That's all I can deal with.

[Anonymous]

i'm a stay at home mom and most of my kids' friends are stay-at-home moms or have flexible work arrangements. our playdate frequency is more than the PPs....we used to do a few each week but as my children have aged, they are getting less frequent due to more homework and activities. my oldest is now in 4th grade and he has one or maybe two each week. but in K and 1 he had 3-4 each week. this was the norm for his friends.

[Anonymous]

My DS used to have 1/week playdates with a few close buddies after school in preschool. DS thrived on them and liked the idea of having close friends. It helped that I really liked the moms too , but the boys really had similar personalities and really liked each other. Now that DS is in elementary school, he has not developed such close frienships, and he has only had a few playdates. It seems to be taking more effort for various reasons- we are new to the school, lots of kids stay in aftercare, others seem to have cliquish stay at home moms who dont seem interested in branching out with new friendships. I think playdates in moderation are really good their social/emotional development. What is the best way to initiate?