I suggest you begin a discussion forum for Miscarriage Support/ Fetal Loss/ Still births, etc.

[Anonymous]

My baby's heartbeat stopped and I found out at my monthly check-up at 17 weeks. I had had an amnio weeks before and all the results were normal. The pregnancy was progressing extremely well. The amniotic fluid looked great. The baby was in great shape at every other check-up. It is the most painful and the saddest experience I have had in my life. I have wanted to post here, but the only "appropriate" forum seems to be the one for expectant mothers, and quite frankly, it is a complicated combination because pregnant mothers don't like hearing about this. Often they are already nervous about their pregnancies and it's hard to hear about these losses, especially late in the pregnancy. I have since found out that this kind of loss is a lot more common than I ever thought. I think it would be a very good idea to have a separate forum for this. Other websites (Babycenter, The faces of loss) offer a lot of resources for this kind of experience, but DC Urban Moms and Dads would be a good space for this kind of exchange.
Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Usually I see the call for new forums on this and that and think it's all too much, but I would agree with this poster. There seem to have been a number of posts addressing these types of circumstances lately and it would be good to move them out of the Expectant Mothers forum.

[Anonymous]

PP here. And wanted to add that I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage, OP. I had one earlier than that, but it is always an awful experience.

[Anonymous]

I had a full term stillbirth after a healthy pregnancy and would very much like to connect with others on DCUM who have experienced this and other types of pregnancy loss so I want to second OP for another forum. I also don't want to post in expectant moms because they have enough to worry about.

[jsteele]

I am very sorry for the losses suffered by both of the above posters. I didn't immediately respond to the original request because I wanted to give it some thought. I am generally reluctant to create new forums. However, it is very difficult not to acknowledge the need explained in the above posts. I will give it a little more thought.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you very much for your condolences, and thank you Jeff for considering this suggestion. In the last week it has been incredible to find out just how common these issues are and the number of couples that have experienced them. It really helps to be able to access online threads and testimonials, because it makes you realize you are not alone and that many of the things you might be feeling and thinking are normal in these circumstances. Like I said, there are good resources out there already, but none quite with the characteristics of the DC Urban Moms and Dads community. As a very frequent user of this website, I can easily see the value of a forum dedicated to this topic. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Many of the women on the TTC forum have gone through this too. They were very supportive when this happened to me.

[Anonymous]

The TTC forum can be rough, though, if your loss was secondary. Secondaries have been treated like crap on that board for awhile and last week things went way over the top. We had a huge brawl after a woman with two children posted needing support after she lost her third to miscarriage. Prior to that post I thought the TTC forum was a good place for people who had suffered this kind of loss, now I've concluded that DCUM's anonymous MO--which normally I am all for--is not a good fit for the topic of miscarriage and definitely not for secondary infertility. IMHO, people should be encouraged to go to more specialized places.