Please Share Your Foster Experience

[Anonymous]

I feel strongly moved to take in a foster child. I have two boys of my own and work FT, but at a pretty low key, 35-40hr a week job. I have my youngest at a licensed home daycare that would have space and be willing to take a foster child-if the child were that young.

If I were to take in an older school aged child, what happens with school? Do I need to drop them off at their respective school in the AM and pick them back up, or would they attend the school in my district (I'd imagine that it would be best if they attended their own school).

What has your experience been? I'm feeling more and more stongly about doing this with each passing day....my DH is half on board, but will go with what I want to do, since i already to most of the heavy lifting at home. I believe we have been blessed as a family and have a lot to give, not only materially, but on an emotional/stability level as well. DH and I have a solid unified relationship and have weathered our oldest child being critically sick for the first two years of his life, so I feel after going through that stress and surviving it, we can take on anything life throws at us.

[Anonymous]

I'm a foster parent. You should go to a foster parenting info session in your county. That's step one. About daily life, the foster child is just like your other children. You decide where to send the foster child to school and make it happen. I like your description of your feelings about foster parenting. You are on the right track. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to be a foster parent too.
I went to the meeting in Montgomery Co ( they do it once a month) and was disappointed. They had lots of info but then at the end bascially said they have enough homes for toddlers and preschoolers but don't have enough for teens. They said they wouldn't do a home study on us unless we would commit to taking a child over the age of 13.

You might have more luck with getting younger kids thru DC.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

"You might have more luck with getting younger kids thru DC. "

Not true. DC is also teen heavy.

Go through the classes you will learn alot of information we (the public) assume is not true. In DC they do expect you to keep them in the school they currently attend.

As you evaluate your time you must also build in the appointments with various therapist and workers the child must see, sometimes weekly. Also with Foster care there is a goal to reunite the family so you must also be ready to take the child back and forth to visits with the parents.

DH needs to be fully on board as he will have to go through all of this with you as well as your children.

The process is very tedious with alot of hurry up and wait.

Bottom line take the class.

[Anonymous]

It would be the exception to bring an older child into your home and the child not have significant issues. Likewise, even toddler or preschooler might have serious behavior and emotinonal issues.

Older kids may become violent or abusive - physical, mental or sexual - towards your own children.

[Anonymous]

13:06 here. I want to provide some balance. My foster parenting experience has been positive. I haven't experienced terrible things. And I know my limits. I've had to request that a child leave my home because I couldn't handle his issues. That's okay. There are foster parents who specialize in caring for kids with tough issues. The kids whom I have parented have experienced neglect which is more common than abuse. They usually need to learn about normal eating, sleeping, bathing, social skills and it takes a few months for the shell-shock look to fade away, especially when socializing. It's amazing to see them start to thrive in my home, to see their joy from the simple routine of life. And I love learning from them. I'm reminded of the end of the movie Super 8 when the little boy whose mother died said "Bad things happen but it's okay to go on living." That's the lesson I've learned from my foster children.

It is true that there are more teens in foster care than any other age group. I have young biological children so I'm not in a position to parent teens right now. But I've heard some foster parents say they prefer parenting foster teens, that teens in foster care are often quite straightforward about what they need and want. Some foster parents say the hardest age group is 9-12 because of the energy and limited maturity.

I don't live in Mont Co or DC so I can't speak to that. But it's great that the OP is interested in foster parenting. Go to the info meeting for your county and see if there's an opportunity for you there.

[Anonymous]

general rule is, the new kid must be the youngest in the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:general rule is, the new kid must be the youngest in the family

Not really. Many people, me included, go out of birth order and it is fine.

[Anonymous]

"general rule is, the new kid must be the youngest in the family "

That is certainly NOT true in DC.

[Anonymous]

Youngest child tends to get more attention. The older foster kids might bring habits and influences into your home that you do not like.
For a first timer, start with a kid that will be the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Are you all foster parents? If so, where? I'm in PG County.

[Anonymous]

I'm getting licensed in DC. Almost done with the process.

I will say this to the OP - the process is long and involves a lot of classes and worksheets and thinking about things. It can't hurt to start the process and discussions with your family to see where it takes you. You have lots of time.