Wow! Anyone else listen to the Diane Rehm Show today?

[Anonymous]

The topic was The State of the American Dream -- and I found it really depressing, but reflective of how I think a lot of people are feeling these days.

Has anyone else been struggling with dashed expectations in terms of career or financial "success" or what you thought you would achieve at this point in your life (or be able to provide your kids)? Clearly there are many hurting MUCH more than I, but still it's relative and the constant fretting over money and wondering how to best prepare my kids for their future is taking its toll on both me and my husband. The readjustment of expectations has been a real downer. Thoughts? How have you had to change your life or plans due to the economic slow down?

(Link to the show is below)

http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2011-11-28/state-american-dream?page=1

[Anonymous]

Dysphonia.

[Anonymous]

to PP: ????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: to PP: ????

http://www.npr.org/people/2101067/diane-rehm

In 1998, Rehm's career nearly ended because of spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological voice disorder that causes strained, difficult speech. Rehm sought treatment, returned to the show, and called attention to the condition. The National Council on Communicative Disorders recognized her work with a Communication Award, and ABC's Nightline devoted an entire program to a conversation with Rehm about her disorder.

[Anonymous]

I think that is wonderful. I still can't stand listening to her.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the OP wrote this post to draw attention to Diane's dysphonia. Did you read the post?

[Anonymous]

Wow -- this thread derailed fast.

OP, thanks for sharing. Interesting topic.

We're lucky to have been fairly established financially before all hell broke loose -- bought on the Hill in '96, paid off student loans, banked about $750K.

House has appreciated, obviously, and is nearly paid off, but our savings have stalled completely. Really thought we'd be a lot closer to our "number" than we are.

I have family members who are just starting their adult life and I don't envy them. They will have a much more difficult time achieving financial benchmarks. One can't even find a full time job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow -- this thread derailed fast.

OP, thanks for sharing. Interesting topic.

We're lucky to have been fairly established financially before all hell broke loose -- bought on the Hill in '96, paid off student loans, banked about $750K.

House has appreciated, obviously, and is nearly paid off, but our savings have stalled completely. Really thought we'd be a lot closer to our "number" than we are.

I have family members who are just starting their adult life and I don't envy them. They will have a much more difficult time achieving financial benchmarks. One can't even find a full time job.

Us too. That show reminded me that we in the DC area are lucky the economy is good here for certain professions. We are doing fine because of the year in which we bought a house (2002) in the location that we bought it (Hill East) and that there are still jobs for us here. While we work hard, there are plenty of people who work hard elsewhere in the country and they are struggling. We are doing well more because we are lucky and less because we are virtuous. Counting my blessings here.

[Anonymous]

OP here! (I too had no idea how the thread veered into Diane Rehm's voice issues!!)

Thank you to the people who responded. We live in NWDC in a house we bought in '04.

I too feel encouraged by how the economy seems better in DC than other places but am also seeing how the changes have also trickled into our surrounding area: stores and businesses closing left and right, commercial real estate endlessly for sale or rent without anyone to occupy, it is even apparent in the state of disrepair I see a lot of homes and yards in when previously things looked much more cared for.

I am still interested to hear where and how DCUM readers and their spouses have cut costs to navigate the changed economy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow -- this thread derailed fast.

OP, thanks for sharing. Interesting topic.

We're lucky to have been fairly established financially before all hell broke loose -- bought on the Hill in '96, paid off student loans, banked about $750K.

House has appreciated, obviously, and is nearly paid off, but our savings have stalled completely. Really thought we'd be a lot closer to our "number" than we are.

I have family members who are just starting their adult life and I don't envy them. They will have a much more difficult time achieving financial benchmarks. One can't even find a full time job.

Us too. That show reminded me that we in the DC area are lucky the economy is good here for certain professions. We are doing fine because of the year in which we bought a house (2002) in the location that we bought it (Hill East) and that there are still jobs for us here. While we work hard, there are plenty of people who work hard elsewhere in the country and they are struggling. We are doing well more because we are lucky and less because we are virtuous. Counting my blessings here.

yep. the folks graduating school right now are going to have such a tough time compared to my generation (30s, with 10+ years if experience). that said, unless someone is a multi millionaire with cash savings, it could all disappear with one bad illness or job loss. what a tenuous existence for all but the super rich - i mourn the loss of the symbolic american dream.

that said, the u.s. is still a land of great opportunity.

[Anonymous]

We feel lucky, but have not escaped by any means. Lucky to have a roof over our head and food on our table, but not anywhere near the position we planned on. Bought the fixer upper in a good neighborhood in 2005 and spent several years fixing it up only to find all of our investment will not pay off. We had anticipated moving by now (too small for the family we now have), but couldn't get much more for it than what we paid - before pouring $$ into it for improvements.

Unfortunately for the long term, cutting back has meant we aren't saving as we should be - for either retirement or college way down the road. We had planned on private schools (DH and I both went), and have a hard time not being bitter that, having done everything 'right' we will not be able to provide for our kids the way our parents provided for us. And we are better educated and work a LOT harder and longer.

So we're making do, but still know we're far, far better off than most just in having two good, stable jobs and not wanting for the necessities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How have you had to change your life or plans due to the economic slow down?

I live with family. I'm divorced and can't afford to pay daycare, rent and minimum payments towards my debt (half of which is student loans, half of which is from the divorce, the only consumer debt I've got is $5K on my car) on my salary, so I live at home, at 27, with my kid. I work FT and throw everything I can at my debt and my savings. Moving out will have to wait until DC is no longer in FT daycare. I've also put off grad school (which would bump my salary level up to liveable) indefinitely. I work a job I absolutely hate because it's the only thing I could find that paid me more than $40K.

This area has many, many more opportunities than the one I recently left (within the past year). The COL is way more expensive, but I make more than double what I was making this time last year. I can now afford to go to the dr and the dentist, I'm not worried about the level of care DC is receiving at daycare and I have money to put towards my debt. As much as I hate where I work, there is more room for growth here than where I was. I get minimal child support ($100/wk) and will likely never receive any more than that due to XH's work history and skills.

I highly doubt that I will ever own a home and grad school is a pipe dream as long as I remain a single parent. I've resigned myself to working in an industry I despise because it's where my experience is and where the money is. Changing careers to something fulfilling is impractical at best right now and for the foreseeable future. Having more kids (which I do very much want) is also something that is likely not going to happen.

The economy has turned the dreams of success that I had in college to dreams of survival. I just want to be self-sufficient.

[Anonymous]

I like you 16:39. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I just caught part of it but our "story" was told on there by a woman who either posted on FB or called in and recorded her story. She had cancer, they both had and lost various jobs and the health insurance that came with some of the jobs (and not with others). Now they are using their daughter's college fund to get crappy insurance that won't cover much anyway.

There are lots of us out there. We were formerly upper middle class. We are gearing our children to look overseas for careers as we are currently doing.

As far as I'm concerned the US is a has-been country. Heartbreaking but the truth!

[Anonymous]

I am completely depressed. My husband lost his job. We have looked at everything we can save money on - even down to me changing my hair style to one that doesn't need cutting as often. The only thing left to do would be sell the house, but all these cuts we've made were in the interest of being able to keep the house. Even though we bought in 2008 it has depreciated so much we can't sell it without losing lots of money, and there are now a lot of things that need fixing that we can't afford to do. And then where would we go? I'm in a job I hate and have been living for the day when I can leave, but I don't think that's going to happen now. I'm making decent money for someone in my field at my job level, so I need to stay here. In a few more months our savings will run out. All we talk about now is what else can we cut (there's nothing left at this point) and what can we sell? When this first happened I was really positive, we can get through this, we'll do what we have to do. But now I feel like crying constantly. Everything sucks. I can't talk to my husband about how I feel because that would just make him feel even worse than he already does.