Sexting

[Anonymous]

I found out my 15 year old son sent a naked photo of himself to a girl and she sent him one. I think he met her one time. I talked to him about why this is inappropriate and a terrible idea. He said his friends do it, which of course is no excuse. I want to make sure I covered all the bases in my talk with him. What would you tell your son if you were in my shoes? I've also told him he can't use my iPad for awhile.

[Anonymous]

OP, Did you ask your son how he would feel if his naked picture was sent to his classmates or posted online for the world to see? He should understand
once you send something out via text or online, it NEVER goes away. You can't take it back. I would disable his text messaging on his phone for a month or two.

[Anonymous]

hope you have a Kajeet plan through sprint so you can take away and or add features depending on the kid's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Also, if the girl is under 18, your son could be arrested for possession of child pornography which is both a state and federal felony. Additionally, as your son is under 18, the girl could be arrested for the same thing. And let me tell you something, if that girl's parents find out that there are naked pictures going back and forth, they will alert the authorities and insist she is the "victim."

[Anonymous]

Based upon having teenaged girls, tell your son that naked pics of him = girls laughing at his junk. That may help discourage it, because it is true...

[Anonymous]

Print the picture and hang it on the fridge for a couple of weeks. Illustrate the point that sending a photo online is the same as publishing it on the front page of the NYT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Print the picture and hang it on the fridge for a couple of weeks. Illustrate the point that sending a photo online is the same as publishing it on the front page of the NYT.

LOL I love this.
I'd also look up the tons of news articles for him from the past year or two where kids have gotten charged with child pornography for having underage nude pictures on their phone. And remind him that registering as a sex offender is for LIFE.

And take the phone from him. Buy him the barest bones phone possible, with no camera on it, so all he can do is call and text, and take it from him at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Print the picture and hang it on the fridge for a couple of weeks. Illustrate the point that sending a photo online is the same as publishing it on the front page of the NYT.

LOL I love this.
I'd also look up the tons of news articles for him from the past year or two where kids have gotten charged with child pornography for having underage nude pictures on their phone. And remind him that registering as a sex offender is for LIFE.

And take the phone from him. Buy him the barest bones phone possible, with no camera on it, so all he can do is call and text, and take it from him at night.

Just stop with taking his phone. He doesn't NEED one. He can have it back after a significant break.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs that there have to be some real consequnces here--taking away the phone, etc.

[Anonymous]

My worst nightmare. Not OP, but appreciating everyone's input here. As a parent of a kid old enough to sext, we've talked about it, but I have no illusions - the first real girlfriend will have way more influence than me. For now, you've again reminded me to be vigilant.

[Anonymous]

16:16 here- there is something to be said for intentionally staying a bit in the dark ages - DD doesn't have picture messaging capability on her phone (Verizon can restrict it) AND doesn't even have texting now due to a C average in two classes.

Just saying- don't even give them picture text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd also look up the tons of news articles for him from the past year or two where kids have gotten charged with child pornography for having underage nude pictures on their phone. And remind him that registering as a sex offender is for LIFE.

Nah, you're getting mixed up with cases where adults are charged for having pictures of kids. When it's only kids involved, charges are often dropped, and even if they're not, it's very rare for juvenile courts to hand out sentences involving any form of registration at all, let alone lifetime; even the hugely controversial Adam Walsh act only mandates registration for juveniles convicted of an offense equivalent or more severe than aggravated sexual assault (forcible rape).

The guy's an idiot, for sure, but you'd be doing a pretty poor job as a parent by threatening him with outcomes that are (as one prosecutor put it) "as likely as the moon coming crashing down tomorrow).

[Anonymous]

He understands it's poor judgement and a bad idea, but he doesn't think there is anything "immoral" about it and says it's not like stealing. How to answer? In some ways I get his point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He understands it's poor judgement and a bad idea, but he doesn't think there is anything "immoral" about it and says it's not like stealing. How to answer? In some ways I get his point.

until he's old enough to exercise good judgement and made good decisions about the consequences of doing something that is the product of bad judgment, he doesn't get to decide. You set the rules. Just because he's right doesn't mean you should let him ruin his life by sending photos that he can never retrieve or control.

[Anonymous]

You are the parent. Act like the parent. No phone/no computer access (without supervision) until he can demonstrate that he is mature enough to make wiser decisions.