Bullying at your Elementary School

[Anonymous]

I am concerned about bullying at my DD's elementary school (really nasty name calling, threats to hurt kids, etc.). Problem is, the principal doesn't seem to take it seriously (which is probably why bullying is becoming more commonplace at the school). Is this common among MCPS principals? Example: last week, the principal's newsletter came out. In it he told parents that b/c there has been so much discussion at school about "bullying" (yes, he put the word in quotes), he felt compelled to tell us what the definition of "real" bullying is. He included a MCPS legal-ese-description of bullying, including a 3 point definition (where all 3 must be present in order for something to be bullying). It seemed like he was calling out the parents for overreacting to bullying and seemed to question whether it was a real phenomena or not. I was so disappointed to read his words because he was sending a clear message to parents: don't bother me with this stuff. Has anyone else had a principal who seems hostile to addressing bullying (and bad behavior in general).

[Anonymous]

My daughter was bullied so badly in K and 1st that we pulled her out and put her into private. The administration seemed less interested in stopping the bullying and more interested in helping my daughter to "cope" with it. Not the environment I wanted. She's a very reactive child and thus a perfect target. It all flows down from the people in charge; if they really want to stop it I think that goes a long way to reducing the amount that goes on.

[Anonymous]

My oldest was seriously bullied in elementary school. The principal virtually ignored it until I threatened to go to the police. Then the response was to place my child in lunch bunch - blame the victim. This was MCPS.

If your child is the victim of bullying, you can complete the MCPS bullying form.

[Anonymous]

My child was badly bullied in third grade and nothing was done. The counselor thought the best course of action was to sit the kids in a room to talk out their differences. He went to a different school in 4th and it made all the difference.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps the principal has parents who think that b/c someone tells their child that they don't like their dress or whatever that that constitutes bullying. Maybe the principal was posting the info so that parents know what bullying really is. People throw the term around all the time on DCUM when it isn't actually bullying. As in "My 3 year old is being bullied by a child in her daycare."

[Anonymous]

PP, I think you are absolutely right. People are very quick to label something as bullying -- often wrongly.

At the same time I am quite sure my third grader was bullied -- it was long-term, systemic teasing about his weight by a group of other boys. And the school did nothing about it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the same approach administrators took for years when students were taunted for being (or appearing to be) gay. The problem lies with the victim.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was most definitely being bullied; yelled at, taunted, shoved into walls etc. When she said she was being bullied I didn't believe it at first; I thought she was exaggerating and/or blowing it out of proportion. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't believe her and follow up much more aggressively sooner.

[Anonymous]

I Believe that mcps has a form to docuoment bullying. Ask your principal about it specifically. I don't think they can deny you the form and they may take you more seriously if you are documenting. Unfortunately i do not know the name of the form.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I should clarify, it isn't my child that is being bullied. I have heard stories from kids and parents alike that make it clear that the school looks the other way when bullying happens. I happen to think that this indifference and "blame the victim" mentality hurts ALL kids. I think it send a message that the school allows a mean-spirited school culture. I certainly don't want my child bullied, but I also don't want them to think bullying others is acceptable. From the responses, this may be an issue at other schools too.

[Anonymous]

I think the point here is that children must learn to treat others with kindness, know that other adults will not look the other way when children treat each other badly, and that there is a shared expectation and culture within the school that civility, politeness, and emotional and physical safety must prevail.

If the school doesn't know how to disciplie children, then there is a problem there that should be addressed. All children need to learn how to be good citizens in and out of the classroom.

[Anonymous]

I am the parent of a Kindergartner in the Whitman Cluster. Bullying is definitely present. My child is not the victim but keeps telling me about hurtful name calling incidents that happen to the same child in his class. What MCPS lacks is a Character Education unit in their 2.0 curriculum. If you emphasize respect and kindness at an early age you will reduce bullying in the schools.

http://www.character.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I think you are absolutely right. People are very quick to label something as bullying -- often wrongly.

At the same time I am quite sure my third grader was bullied -- it was long-term, systemic teasing about his weight by a group of other boys. And the school did nothing about it.

You let him sit on his rear end after school and on weekends instead of kicking him out the door and encourage him to play, run, and do sports. So its the schools fault that someone calls him a fatso.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I think you are absolutely right. People are very quick to label something as bullying -- often wrongly.

At the same time I am quite sure my third grader was bullied -- it was long-term, systemic teasing about his weight by a group of other boys. And the school did nothing about it.

You let him sit on his rear end after school and on weekends instead of kicking him out the door and encourage him to play, run, and do sports. So its the schools fault that someone calls him a fatso.

Ah, I see you are a bully too. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I think you are absolutely right. People are very quick to label something as bullying -- often wrongly.

At the same time I am quite sure my third grader was bullied -- it was long-term, systemic teasing about his weight by a group of other boys. And the school did nothing about it.

You let him sit on his rear end after school and on weekends instead of kicking him out the door and encourage him to play, run, and do sports. So its the schools fault that someone calls him a fatso.

You realize that there has been two cases (one in CA and one in MI) where a parent who support a child's bullying actually had to do jail time. So please, continue to support this line of thinking. I'm lawyer and will have no problem suing you or pressing charges against you for your parenting style. I'm sure I make a shitload more money and have no problem driving you bankrupt in court costs while you deal with me.

Oh, and my kid isn't fat. But I HATE people who think bullying is ok.