Grinders and strivers and curators, oh my!

[Anonymous]

In the real world it would be wild how strongly some people are trying to defend these terms from having a negative connotation given that the terms are not being directed at any one person in particular. But it’s DCUM so I guess these terms hit too close to home. I guess you can add to the striver definition a hyper defensiveness at having their behavior pointed out to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a striver is viewed as someone sacrificing their mental health, relationships, and social life for an unfulfilling, endless chase for status

That is not what a striver is. As striver is someone that works hard. That is all. Anything else is made up.

It’s exactly what striver is.

You’re talking about hard working people. They exist in every aspect of life.

You don’t call a coal miner a striver, do you?
Or a coal miner?
Or a caterer?
Or a teacher?
Or a cop?
Or a marine?
Or a longshoreman …

No even though it very hard work with long hours. Why? Status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the real world it would be wild how strongly some people are trying to defend these terms from having a negative connotation given that the terms are not being directed at any one person in particular. But it’s DCUM so I guess these terms hit too close to home. I guess you can add to the striver definition a hyper defensiveness at having their behavior pointed out to them.

Exactly. These people are totally lacking self-awareness and way too defensive. And tend to be know-it-alls. Hence the defensiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t we have a generation of kids who can’t read or count? What striving?

Holy non sequitur, Batman!

That's not a non sequitur. That's bringing up the relevant point that we have so many students not even at baseline and that no one should be worrying about kids who actually try (IMHO).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it, just that some posters mock others because of their own insecurities

ding ding ding
first response, correct answer

People trying to tell you that trying is for losers are stuck in their own victim mentality. Their inability to succeed is everyone else's fault. Not because they don't want to put in the effort. So they have to mock those who do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t we have a generation of kids who can’t read or count? What striving?

Holy non sequitur, Batman!

That's not a non sequitur. That's bringing up the relevant point that we have so many students not even at baseline and that no one should be worrying about kids who actually try (IMHO).

Still a non-sequitur. Most SAT-takers have always scored below 1200. Most Americans don’t have college degrees. That’s never stopped top American schools from enrolling much higher-performing cohorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it, just that some posters mock others because of their own insecurities

ding ding ding
first response, correct answer

People trying to tell you that trying is for losers are stuck in their own victim mentality. Their inability to succeed is everyone else's fault. Not because they don't want to put in the effort. So they have to mock those who do.

No one on this thread is doing the bolded. You don’t need to invent things.

[Anonymous]

I always defined a grinder as someone that works hard through uncomfortable short term gain (positive connotation) and a striver as someone striving solely for personal benefit (via status or wealth) for its own sake (negative connotation).

No idea what a curator is.

It funny how two people can have the definitions of striver and grinder complete 180s from each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a striver is viewed as someone sacrificing their mental health, relationships, and social life for an unfulfilling, endless chase for status

That is not what a striver is. As striver is someone that works hard. That is all. Anything else is made up.

So if not “striver,” what word can we use to describe “someone who sacrifices their mental health, relationships, and social life for an unfulfilling, endless chase for status”?

Or are you trying to argue that the chase for status is always fulfilling for every participant and never damages anyone’s mental health or relationships? Because, lol.

A social climber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a striver is viewed as someone sacrificing their mental health, relationships, and social life for an unfulfilling, endless chase for status

Sacrificing the mental health of a nosy busybody, maybe. Only people obsessed with status cry about strivers, people who supposedly don’t deserve their status. Other people don’t see people that way.

Elon Musk is a fraud and a creep and a hateful bigot with dragon sickness. I don’t need to call him a striver to name his flaws.

You could use 20 words or just call it what it is a striver. Also Musk is not a striver he is a nepo baby and a sociopath. He exploits strivers, like the kids he used in DOGE to destroy lives.

I have one brother who was a striver and watched him slowly lose his life to depression. Top engineering school , top law school, law partner and a totally 2nd business and also a small 3 rd business. Saw his kids a few hours a week. Crashed and burned.

I have one son who is a striver and I warn him against the pursuit for material things for no other reason to have a bunch of material things. Slowly he is realizing there are happy people living simple lives everywhere he doesn’t need to live in manhattan to be happy.

I have a ton of examples in my extreme large Irish Catholic family of strivers and people who are just happy to live simply without losing themselves.

My striver Irish Catholic grandparents and parents absolutely pursued money and material things over their personal passions. That’s how they went from poverty to upper middle class in a few generations. I don’t lose sight of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the real world it would be wild how strongly some people are trying to defend these terms from having a negative connotation given that the terms are not being directed at any one person in particular. But it’s DCUM so I guess these terms hit too close to home. I guess you can add to the striver definition a hyper defensiveness at having their behavior pointed out to them.

What is the term for people who seem to think their view is the correct one and attack those who don’t share it as hyper defensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it, just that some posters mock others because of their own insecurities

ding ding ding
first response, correct answer

People trying to tell you that trying is for losers are stuck in their own victim mentality. Their inability to succeed is everyone else's fault. Not because they don't want to put in the effort. So they have to mock those who do.

No one on this thread is doing the bolded. You don’t need to invent things.

The first sentence of this thread:
Why are any of these terms considered insults?

Insulting, looking down on someone, thinking it's loser behavior
These are all in the same vein

Hope that helps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:a striver is viewed as someone sacrificing their mental health, relationships, and social life for an unfulfilling, endless chase for status

That is not what a striver is. As striver is someone that works hard. That is all. Anything else is made up.

It’s exactly what striver is.

You’re talking about hard working people. They exist in every aspect of life.

You don’t call a coal miner a striver, do you?
Or a coal miner?
Or a caterer?
Or a teacher?
Or a cop?
Or a marine?
Or a longshoreman …

No even though it very hard work with long hours. Why? Status.

DP.. IMO, a striver is not someone who just works hard to makes ends meat (coal miner), but someone who works hard and "strives" to better themselves in their status, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing economically (like striving to be in the UMC SES).

But, a social striver (like Trump - I'm the PP who used him as an example) is definitely looked down upon as someone who is desperate and trying too hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always associated striving with the American way and the generations of immigrants that came here and worked their way up. For me striver is a hopeful word, and it saddens me to see it reduced to a pejorative applied to a class of desperate high-schoolers being squeezed like lemons by their crazy parents. That''s all.

At least you acknowledge the terms have changed and have a negative connotation and describe less than noble people. You can definitely be saddened by it and I can understand why. There’s a big difference between an immigrant who pulled themselves up economically through grit and determination and the student who maximizes opportunities and checks every box for the Ivy League and social clout without any intellectual interests. The second case is only possible with privilege. It’s weird that the same word is used for both cases. I think most young people growing up in a competitive environment won’t even be familiar with the older, more positive meaning, and that’s sad to me too.

However, it is possible not to like something and still admit that it is true. Language use changes. Please don’t shoot the messenger, folks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it, just that some posters mock others because of their own insecurities

ding ding ding
first response, correct answer

People trying to tell you that trying is for losers are stuck in their own victim mentality. Their inability to succeed is everyone else's fault. Not because they don't want to put in the effort. So they have to mock those who do.

No one on this thread is doing the bolded. You don’t need to invent things.

The first sentence of this thread:
Why are any of these terms considered insults?

Insulting, looking down on someone, thinking it's loser behavior
These are all in the same vein

Hope that helps

Again, no one on this thread is saying that “trying is for losers.” This is a massive strawman.