I have officially passed the point of no return re: house full of $h!t

[Anonymous]

I have never been a spare minimalist regarding "stuff." But in the past I managed to stay on top of the load of stuff throughout the house.

acquisitions, art projects, out-of-season clothes, Lego, shoes, dog toys, "important papers than can't be filed away" and so on.

Here is the #1 barrier, and I'm asking DCUMers for tough talk to help me over the hump: much of this stuff is things my children are sentimental about or fond of, and the remainder of the stuff are things I'M fond of for sentimental reasons. Example: Ava's little pottery bowls she made last year in Kindergarten, spread out on the mantel. She is proud of these, not indifferent.

I have NO problem, none, throwing out ill-fitting clothes and the like. I have realized that I'm up to my waist in items that somebody feels affection for (or uses occasionally), and this makes is so hard to toss!!! Help?

[Anonymous]

Purge.

If you haven't used it in two years, and it is not extremely sentimental, out it goes.

If you can't remember when you bought it and it still has labels attached or is in the original shopping bag, drop it off at a consignment shop or goodwill.

Put some of the less important kid toys in a box in the garage. If they don't ask for it by Thanksgiving, get rid of them.

Everything left needs to have a place.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if others agree, but I would really try to shelve emotions, and purge relentlessly. I mean, do ALL pottery bowls need to be on display? How about just the favorite 2?

I get being sentimental about certain things-like a couple of items of baby clothes or something-but you need to draw the line somewhere. And as for the kids-I've always found that out of sight, out of mind works wonders. Again, keep things that are clearly important to them, but another stuffed toy that is their "favorite", when they've already pleaded for other favorites to stay...that can be dealt with.

Or just get a storage space if you can't handle it otherwise

[Anonymous]

If your kids are old enough to be semi-reasonable about this, you could ask them to pick out X number of their favorite items to leave out, X number to box up, and the rest to take photos of and get rid of the actual item. If you guys can't bring yourselves to get rid of things, you can box them up and leave them out of the way for awhile, and then revist the boxes to see if you feel ok about letting them go.

[Anonymous]

First, give yourself permission to save a set number of sentimental items each year. One or two projects from each year, but set a limit and stick to it.

For artwork that you feel sentimental about but don't have the space for, consider taking a bunch of pictures of it before tossing it.

[Anonymous]

Give or send them to extended family or dump them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kids are old enough to be semi-reasonable about this, you could ask them to pick out X number of their favorite items to leave out, X number to box up, and the rest to take photos of and get rid of the actual item. If you guys can't bring yourselves to get rid of things, you can box them up and leave them out of the way for awhile, and then revist the boxes to see if you feel ok about letting them go.

Absolutely agree. I'm really sentimental about things, and so is one of my sons. If I ask the less sentimental child to find things to donate or throw away, he can easily come up with things. The other gets really sad and can only find tiny scraps of things to toss. However, if I box up some of the "treasures" and then revisit them with him in some months, it's easier for him to make decisions about what's really important to him.

[Anonymous]

When I'm off work and my kids are in school, I donate their items that they haven't worn or used in quite some time. (so far so good)

Also, having organizational structures in place helps. So closet organizers can really force you to purge. You can install them yourself w/o going overboard in price, and you can do parts of the closet where you think you really need the help.

For kids' work, I have them choose 5 items from each year, and I place them in binders. It will end soon - once they hit the upper elementary grades, as things are just not as "exciting" by then. And I've framed a few of their art pieces - not many.

[Anonymous]

I take photos of the children's art work and then throw them out after a few weeks - some are large posters and I have nowhere to store them.

[Anonymous]

Are you in MoCo? One thing that helped me get over purging was finding a thrift store that supports causes I care about. If you have dog toys then maybe you might be interested in supporting Wagging Tails, a thrift store whose profits go to the MoCo Animal shelter. It is well run with nice stuff. It doesn't smell. Inventory moves. I know that when I donate to them my stuff is turning into cash for needy animals. That rationalization made it so much easier for me get rid of stuff. We keep a donation box in the basement at all times and when we have a load it goes.

[Anonymous]

Hire an organizer and get to work. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Guys, my problem isn't that I can't bear to purge filthy dog toys or donate toddler clothes or formal wear that I wore when I was 28.

My problem is that every member of our household is **attached** to their things. So,

Organizer: I see you have 4 Lego sets here and all of them are red and blue. Keep two, and choose two to put in the give-away bin.

Me: Uh, how about these two?

Son: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love ALL FOUR LEGO SETS AND I PLAY WITH THEM.

Organizer: Let's purge some of your husbands coats that are squashed in the closet too tightly.

Me: Ok, but I'm not really sure which can stay and which can go, because I am not my husband and I don't know which need truly needs.

Husband: I need all 7 coats because they serve different functions, and I honestly will wear all 7 at various points during 2012.


- - - -

Now multiply this times 300. It's the "human" barrier. I don't know how to blow through it without literally trampling people's feelings.

I'm looking for THOSE kinds of suggestions. Please, I swear I'll implement them.

When I was child, my purging, minimalist mom decided one day to throw out my horse statue collection while I was at school, since it was "clutter." Later she sold at a fire sale price all of my father's class rings and pins that had sentimental value to him -- without asking.

I need to avoid things such as that.

Where do people in Manhattan keep their class rings and horse statuette collections? Do they just not buy them in the first place? Move to Jersey? What?

[Anonymous]

For artwork, the way I keep things nice and clean is to take a picture of the artwork with our digital camera (only artwork that is really cool or that we especially love/cherish for other sentimental reasons) and then - at the end of the year - I make a book of all the artwork (nicely bound, picture book). That way, we don't have a lot of art lying around and yet, it is still available for display in a more organized manner.

FWIW - some of the art pieces I don't throw away, but keep stored in the attic in a box.

[Anonymous]

For artwork, the way I keep things nice and clean is to take a picture of the artwork with our digital camera (only artwork that is really cool or that we especially love/cherish for other sentimental reasons) and then - at the end of the year - I make a book of all the artwork (nicely bound, picture book). That way, we don't have a lot of art lying around and yet, it is still available for display in a more organized manner.

Done, and done. (op here).

I just stuffed 3 garbage bags full of things for the trash. Several items were opened, but never used, little birthday gifts from June. Markers, cups, a checkers set.

So I'm willing to pitch unwanted stuff. there's just too much purportedly "wanted" stuff in this house, grrrr

[Anonymous]

OP - I hope this doesn't sound mean, but you are making excuses for yourself, likely due to your mother throwing out cherished items without consulting you.

I get that. My mother threw out my beloved blanket when I was out once b/c she thought I'd outgrown it. I'm still bitter about it.

That said, I think these truly cherished items are really only a handful of things. I have 3 kids and probably borderline OCD when it comes to keeping things clean/organized. I *know* which toys my kids truly cherish vs. the stuff that they say they cherish if I ask them, but that they otherwise ignore. Same thing with my husband's things.

So this is what I'd do if I were you. First, I'd invest in a bunch of tupperware. For toys, sort the toys according to type (e.g., all legos go into 1-2 tupperware boxes). Toys that are missing some key piece (e.g., puzzles with pieces missing, toys missing small pieces) get tossed. Find a closet and if you can, organize said tupperware into the closet or in shelves, etc. After you have sorted, organized and shelved the toys, you may find that you can live with all these items now that they are in proper places.

As for your husband, here is where you just simply need to draw some rules. He is an adult, which means he is old enough and mature enough not to get attached to coats, shoes, etc. Tell him that he really only needs - say - 4 coats. Pick his favorite and donate the rest (or if you have the inclination, do a yard/garage sale).

What you ask of your husband though you need to do for yourself. So if you make him get rid of half his coats, you need to look at your stuff (shoes?) and get rid of things as well.

Good luck to you.