Getting through the last 6 weeks of pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I am just starting my 34th week and I can honestly say that in the past 1.5 weeks everything seems to have changed physically. I felt like I was fortunate without any real "problems" during my pregnacy (good bp, heartrate, etc.) and I really felt like I was handling the physical changes well. In the course of a week this has changed. Back pain kicks in at 2:30 pretty bad every day. I am tired constantly even after getting extra sleep. Heartburn got to the point that I am going to have to start on meds b/c it is causing me to vomit.

I don't want to be whiny about this and I know everything I just listed is normal to experience during pregnancy. I am struggling though now. I am a single mother so asking a husband to cook, clean, run an errand, etc. is not an option. The to-do lists to get ready for baby are staring me in the face and I have to get them done. The workload that needs to be accomplished at work so I can take maternity leave without leaving co-workers and my boss with extra work (and unhappy about it) while I am out is stressful. I recognize that others have housekeepers or do take out a lot and this is a way to have less to get done at this point but as a single mother taking unpaid maternity leave finances are something I need to be very diligent and strict about right now.

I am not sure really if I have a clear question....maybe I just needed to vent for a moment. But here I am at home today off work, feeling guilty about it, and wondering how I am going to get through January! Everyday this week has been a struggle for me to get up, get to work, and get through my day....I just kept telling myself get through the week and then a long weekend was ahead. However, I feel like my body is just quitting on me and this morning I just couldn't find the energy to leave the bed.

Tell me I am not alone, tell me how you are coping with things, tell me to suck it up because this is just the way it is...... I don't know, just needed to vent that I don't know how to get things done at work and home and not feel like my body is quitting on me. And the baby isn't even here yet....ack!!

[Anonymous]

all I can say is, I think my mood during pregnancy was affected by all the strong horomone changes going on the whole time, and I was surprised how depressed I was at times.

A few other thoughts that might help:

It really is only 6 more weeks, give or take, and it is very physically challenging. It will go by quickly!
Skip some of the stuff on your list that you "have to do". This is good training for being a parent. This is hard for overachiever types or people who are used to having control over their time or their own reactions to stuff, but honestly, you've got a lot going on and no one expects perfection from you ever, but especially now.

Examples: Do you have to gift wrap things by hand?-one of those bag things will do. Do you have to decorate the nursery to Pottery Barn Kids levels? No. Just get the crib up and that's it.
And whether or not you have covered everything with your job before you leave, you will still be out and they will manage!!!!!!

Also this is a good time of year to ask family and friends for help with things if you have them around. Also good practice for when the baby comes!

All I'm saying is, really decide what is important to you, and just screw the rest. Don't do it. And DON'T feel guilty for taking a break, life is too short.

Good luck with everything and go watch a Christmas movie or something tacky and embarrassing on TV.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are NOT alone! I just entered my 34th week, and even though I have DH at home, I started a new (and fairly demanding) job a month and a half ago and life is starting to get overwhelming. Like you, I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy all along. Now, the back pain, ankle pain and general state of listlessness has kicked in. On top of that, the heartburn is such that I spent the other night making myself throw up with the hope that it would go away. I also feel like that while time is flying and I haven't done a damn thing to prepare the baby's room, it's not soon enough to have the baby out of my body!!!!

I will only get a month off with pay from my job and I haven't got into any daycare place yet. That is really weighing on my mind. Agh!

Sorry to send a tale of woe right back at you, but I wanted to let you know that I empathize and you are certainly not alone.

Thanks to PP for the advice. I'm going to take it up, too!

Happy Holidays, guys.

[Anonymous]

I just want to send some support/encouragement your way. The last few weeks of pregnancy ARE very difficult, but you can do it!!!!!!!!!

I agree with PP about prioritizing. Figure out things that absolutely must be done and try not to stress about the rest. Despite what the baby products industry would have you believe, there are very few must haves for a newborn - car seat, a place to sleep, some diapers and wipes, some onesies and receiving blankets... I am sure I'm forgetting something but you get my point. Everything else is optional and can be acquired at a later date (or not at all). Same for housework etc.

Best wishes to you and good luck!

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to pile on my support, as well. I'm heading into week 36 and it's like someone flipped a switch two weeks ago and changed the whole pregnancy game for me. One day I went from feeling healthy, strong and easygoing (my experience the first 32 weeks) to achey, heartburned, and completely full of anxiety. I'm trying to chalk it up to hormones plus the stress the extra weight and baby are putting on my joints . . . but still. It's a rough time -- you're not alone!

FWIW, I agree with the PPs' advice about lowering the expectations about getting "everything" ready. When push comes to shove, baby doesn't need much in the beginning. And here's what I remind myself when I get stressed out about setting up everything perfectly at work for my maternity leave -- if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, they'd figure it out without me. (Morbid, but it does help me drop that extra burden.)

Best wishes,
Your Pregnant Partner in Heartburn Hell

[Anonymous]

You are definitely not alone - for me, the breaking point was 36 weeks. Originally, I had planned to work until my due date, but I started to feel so uncomfortable and miserable that I took off on maternity leave early. I thought I would use the extra 4 weeks to get things ready for the baby; instead, I ended up sleeping 14-15 hours a day, reading novels, and chatting with friends...Now that the baby is here and I get to stay up all night, I am very happy with my choice to do nothing for 4 weeks! (And the things that remained unfinished on my to-do-list turned out not to be as important as I thought.)

[Anonymous]

Have you try eating smaller meals, like 6 instead of 3/day.
I know around that time I had little energy and eating smaller meals/healthy snacker helped with that and the hearburns as well.
Tums, I had a bottom at work...

[Anonymous]

I am also just starting my 34th week and as you say, it gets much harder to deal with at this stage. This is my second pregnancy so I knew that these days were coming and was dreading them. In addition to what you mention, one of the symptoms that bothers me the most is the shortness of breath -- I can't ever seem to find a comfortable way to sit or lie down that does not cause the baby to press on my lungs. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that "this too will pass." Unfortunately, I also know what's on the other end -- the new born stage. Argh! That was a tough one for us the first time around, my first child didn't eat well or sleep well and was extremely fussy for the first few months. Those months made the last weeks of pregnancy look like a cake walk. I'm hoping for an easier run of it this time. In any case, the addition of those expectations adds to the stress. Again, I tell myself that stage too will pass, and then it is so worth it. A lot of parenting is like that I find. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, everything changes and things get easier. You are not alone and lots of things about becoming and being a parent are challenging not just emotionally but physically (for instance chasing an active toddler all day is much more difficult than I ever imagined it could be, esp at 8 months pregnant!) but you can do more than you think and your child needs you to hang in there. And you can do it, and you will get through it, and it will all be okay and worthwhile in the end. Hang in there, your not alone and your doing just as well as everyone else who is or has been there. Happy holidays.

[Anonymous]

I unfortunetly start with heartburn at about 18 -20 weeks with each pregnancy - the things that made eating tolerable were
1) eat as many calories early in the day,
2) Do not lie down after eating if you have problems sleeping prop yourself up with pillows
3) Don't drink to much with meals, especially in the evening - puch fluids early in the day
4) certain foods are worse than otehrs - but it seems from some women I have talked to this all varies - i.e. one friends never had problmes with Indian food but just about everything else. I did best with carbs - plain noddles / bread, etc
5) Tums, etc did nothing for me but can add calcium if nothing else

I developed a tinnitus with my second pregnancy which I thought was going to send me jumping from the roof - after almost two months of no real sleep, my MD gave me some Abien ( not sure of spelling) and said it was safe. I hated to take any medications during pregnancy but it turned out to be the ebst thing I did for myself - in just two days I felt like a whole new person. Sleep deprevation is a serious problem (it is one of the best interigation techniques which should tell you someting). This is something to consider if you feel like you really need something extra - I know a few people who have taken Benadryl for the same reason. Talk to your OB first of course. As a single mom you will need all of your strength and energy after the baby is born - we all do but especially if you don't have good support (hopefully you do) sleep now is as important as anything.

I was on bed rest and relatively new to a community with my last pregnancy - parents are both far away. I contacted my chirch to see if there was anyone that could help out a little. They got me in touch with some high school students who needed community projects..and I became theirs... and some older women who could help out with my toddler from time to time. Look for resources in your community and don't hesitate to ask for help...and perhaps someday in the future you can return the favor!

Best wished to you and your baby!

[Anonymous]

Hi-no - it;s not just you- it;s HARD- preggo with hubbie or not- it makes no difference- it';s so hard - no energy- hard to walk around- in one hour we get 20% done if we are lucky. do accept help- i rememer saying no but really- why not?? take care and hang in there- you;ll have a wonderful reward soon (baby)

[Anonymous]

I don't know what kind of job you have, but is it possible to work a day or two a week from home? That made a huge difference for me with my first pregnancy. Sure, I was still sitting in a chair working for most of the day. But if I needed to sit on a couch or lie in bed for 10 minutes (or longer at lunchtime), I did. Not having to put on heels and get fully ready for the day was great. Getting to sleep in a little and avoid the commute...even better.

As for getting ready for the baby, just do the bare essentials. Do one or two loads of wash so he/she has something to wear. Make sure he/she has a safe place to sleep. Make sure the car seat is ready to go. That is ALL you need for now. You might want to put a bouncy seat and stroller together. It will be months before the baby can really play with toys, get in an exersaucer, use a high chair... all of that can wait. If you are dying to get other stuff done, invite a few friends over to help, and "pay" them with pizza and beverages of their choice. If a friend asked me for that kind of help, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I'd also bring home-made, but frozen meals so she didn't have to cook. I know it's hard to ask for help, but sometimes you need to do it. How many friends have you helped move, or watched a pet while they were on vacation, or do other things like that?

As for feeling crummy... I had a really hard time in the 33-37 week range, but felt surprisingly better towards the very end. I had very big babies and carried them all out front, which was terrible on my back. But once you get into the late 30 week range, you know the baby could come any day (and be healthy), and I found that makes a difference. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant now and I would second (or third) the suggestion to eat lots of smaller meals to beat the heartburn. I had terrible heartburn, particularly in the evenings and at night from about 15 weeks. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 26 weeks and that forced me to eat smaller meals every 2-3 hours. Guess what? The heartburn is totally gone. At least that's one positive thing about GD.