will the teacher tell you which ability group my kid is in during the coming conf meeting?

[Anonymous]

my son's AAP center has different ability group for some subjects. I know for sure that they have different math and word study groups. but my son has no idea which group/level he is in. do you think the teacher will tell you this info during the parent-teacher conference in Nov. or we have to ask? is it a legit question to ask the class teacher? I hope some parents who have experience on this could offer some advice. thanks.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if the teacher would tell you or not.

Most importantly, I'm not sure why it matters. Assuming your son is doing well and you don't feel that the groups he is in are too advanced for him, I would leave it alone.

Teachers are hesitant to say which group a child is in because 99% of parents want their child to be in the highest group, whether it is right for their child or not.
Just trust that your child has been appropriately placed by their teachers. A child appropriately placed in the middle or lower group will have a much more productive year than a child inappropriately placed in the top group.

And in short, asking this board makes you seem like a tiger mom. Asking the teacher would likely leave the same impression, but without the anonymity.

[Anonymous]

what's wrong with the tiger mom? everyone has her/his own parenting skills, and I am not judging. but I do think that I have the right to know where my kid is standing among his peers. and I would think that parent-teacher conf is my chance to get some insight/details. so I would know which area the kid should work harder. I dont have the resources or spirits needed to be a tiger mom.

[Anonymous]

After the first year or two it's pretty easy to figure out. You know that kid...the one who was in the latest newsletter for winning the local chess tournament. The one that spends his afternoons at Kumon and has already started TJ prep classes in 3rd grade? (yeah, every school has one) He's in the top math class. If your kid is with him, he is too. You probably know enough about your own child and your child's friends to figure out who would be in what level. But I agree with the pp. Teachers don't like to be asked questions like that and if they're anything like the teachers at my kid's school they will just tell you that they are not necessarily grouped by ability or level, but by which teacher's learning style is the best match for them, which we all know isn't quite honest.

[Anonymous]

This post reminds me of my son's teacher's comment at back to school night. (My son is in 5th grade at an AAP center.) A mom walked in and introduced herself to the teacher, and the teacher responded, "Oh, I have heard so much about you! [Child's name] has already told me how she plans to go to TJ, and then she is going to Harvard Medical School, and then she plans to be a brain surgeon. I told her that's great and I'm so glad she knows all this already in 5th grade."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reminds me of my son's teacher's comment at back to school night. (My son is in 5th grade at an AAP center.) A mom walked in and introduced herself to the teacher, and the teacher responded, "Oh, I have heard so much about you! [Child's name] has already told me how she plans to go to TJ, and then she is going to Harvard Medical School, and then she plans to be a brain surgeon. I told her that's great and I'm so glad she knows all this already in 5th grade."

For real? That reminds me of "Dead Poets' Society"...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post reminds me of my son's teacher's comment at back to school night. (My son is in 5th grade at an AAP center.) A mom walked in and introduced herself to the teacher, and the teacher responded, "Oh, I have heard so much about you! [Child's name] has already told me how she plans to go to TJ, and then she is going to Harvard Medical School, and then she plans to be a brain surgeon. I told her that's great and I'm so glad she knows all this already in 5th grade."

If it were the kid's dream (and not the parents wish/demand) it would be a nice plan for a 5th grader. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post reminds me of my son's teacher's comment at back to school night. (My son is in 5th grade at an AAP center.) A mom walked in and introduced herself to the teacher, and the teacher responded, "Oh, I have heard so much about you! [Child's name] has already told me how she plans to go to TJ, and then she is going to Harvard Medical School, and then she plans to be a brain surgeon. I told her that's great and I'm so glad she knows all this already in 5th grade."

For real? That reminds me of "Dead Poets' Society"...

06:13 here -- this is absolutely for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

LOL! Me neither. I can also tell you that I changed my mind at least a few dozen times between 4th grade and 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

DS knows he isn't in the math group with the smartest kids because he knows who they are and says he is in a different group.
This doesn't bother me per se, but it would be of some concern if I had knowledge that another group was getting better instruction or had a better math teacher. Also, I think they can move to another group depending on their scores on an assessment test at the beginning of each new unit, so they may not be assigned to just one teacher all year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After the first year or two it's pretty easy to figure out. You know that kid...the one who was in the latest newsletter for winning the local chess tournament. The one that spends his afternoons at Kumon and has already started TJ prep classes in 3rd grade? (yeah, every school has one) He's in the top math class. If your kid is with him, he is too. You probably know enough about your own child and your child's friends to figure out who would be in what level. But I agree with the pp. Teachers don't like to be asked questions like that and if they're anything like the teachers at my kid's school they will just tell you that they are not necessarily grouped by ability or level, but by which teacher's learning style is the best match for them, which we all know isn't quite honest.

OP, ask your own kid, not the teacher. Smart kids know how to identify other smart kids. They also know which kids (usually a very small group) are being pulled out to do a different math lesson.

Probably, your kid does not care if someone else is a little bit more advanced than they are. Most of the smart kids I have met think it is really cool to meet kids who are smarter than they are. The competitiveness is from/for the parents, not the kids. If your kid is learning new things at a good pace, who cares which math group he/she is in?

[Anonymous]

OP, if you son is in with most of his classmates, he is probably in the middle group.

If there are only a handful of kids and he is freakishly smart in math, and his work looks really challenging, he is probably in the advanced group.

If there are only a handful of kids and he appears to be doing work just a little above last year, then he is probably in the lower group.

Why bother the teacher about this? A better tactic would be to ask her how your kid is doing in math and if there is anything you can do to help him do better at it.

[Anonymous]

herer is OP -- I know where his math is since he is very good at it. what surprised me is his Word group. he told me that he is currently in the group with several kids who dont even speak that much English. of course we simply joked it away. no big deal! but then I was wondering how it happened -- my son's verbal section in his AAP test was 1 wrong, and he has amazing vocabulary and reading skills. this is why I plan to ask the teacher during the conf. -- maybe he knows something that I dont know.

I agree with you that you pretty much could figure out where your kid is at by his peer groups. I also realize that AAP is more challenging than his regular school. and this is why we chose to be there. but if my boy's word is at the bottom of the pack, he must have an excellent body of classmates/peers and we should feel lucky.

[Anonymous]

My daughter always says she's in the top group, but the teachers won't say. I have no idea because my DD lies.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure that his Word groups are divided by ability?

In my child's AAP class, children were told to form there own groups for "book club" type discussions. The groups were given choices of 3 or 4 books, picked one and then read and completed a packet about the book. Could this be the type of group your child is talking about?