How to help DD deal with new siblings?

[Anonymous]

My ex (of 4 years) and his wife just announced that they are having a baby, due in a couple of months. My 8 year old seems less than thrilled, and she has been pretty emotional for the past couple of days. I would like to know if there is anything I can do to help her...so far I have been encouraging her to talk about her feelings but she has said little. Are there any books that have helped kids in similar situations? I have primary placement and will not be having any more kids, so it won't be a lifestyle adjustment on our end, only when she visits her dad.

[Anonymous]

She's still processing the news. I don't know of any books, but I'd give this a few days and, over time and gently, try and get her to verbalize. I'd prompt her, ask her how she feels, is it mixed, part excited, part anxious, etc. It might be hard for her to verbalize anything "negative," she may not want to criticize her father. She probably wonders what her place will be in all this, and how things will change when the baby comes. Good luck with it.

[Anonymous]

If you are on speaking terms with your ex or his wife, then talk to them and let them know she's having a hard time and together try to address it with her that she still has her place/role in their family and she's just as much wanted in their home as yours. Maybe they can have her help out if she wants to with little things for the baby's arrival or take her and get the baby a new gift (if they will accept it as people can get funny).

[Anonymous]

I'd hold off on sharing her reaction for a few more days, if at all. She might consider it confidential, without saying as much, and calling attention to it might make things more self-conscious at Dad's house, they might try to force things, etc. I definitely think this is a normal reaction, OP. I'm PP 12:47. My child has a sibling on the way at dad's, due this winter. DC is much older, but it was still big news, even for a high schooler.