Parent Teacher Conference

[Anonymous]

Wow. Just got back from our first parent-teacher conference with our DD's DCPS PK-4 teacher. I hate this woman like poison. She seems not to give a shit about anything other than whether or not all the kids are silent, pliable little automatons. That coupled with the fact that she seemed incapable of actually listening to a word we said, or having an actual dialogue, was just horrifying. She literally couldn't look either of us in the eye, and when she responded to something one of us said, it was clear she hadn't listened to a word. Anyway, on the way home, we both agreed that this teacher could probably do minimal damage at this early stage. But the fact that we're talking about "minimal damage" is appalling.

In 30 minutes, I've gone from being mostly in favor of the DC teacher's union to thinking principals should be able to fire teachers at will. Literally, they should pass out a questionaire at the end of the school year, and if a teacher gets an average of 2 out of 5 stars, they should be given a boot in the behind.

[Anonymous]

And maybe teachers should get to do the same thing

[Anonymous]

Hahaha, would love to know the school.

If it is any consolation, initially I did not like my child's PreK teacher - she also could not look us in the eye at the first P/T conference. But it all turned out fabulously, and we even became slightly friends outside of school, and she was fabulous with the kids. She was just nervous as all get out with us. But early on in the year, we had to keep reminding ourselves that skills that work well in a professional office setting are not ones that work well with kids, and vice versa. So I'd rather have her be great with kids and not as great with parents.

THe next year, child had a cold, hard teacher who was very, very strict. It was a hard adjustment, but eventually it did work out ok for our child. Since I had gotten to know other teachers in the school, I kind of asked around for what other teachers thought and they praised my child's teacher to the high heavens for having such a quiet, well-mannered class. But I will say it did not work out well for some other kids, who needed more nurturing.

So don't despair just yet. Keep your eyes and ears open, check in with other parents, volunteer as much as you possibly can. It may be better than it looks right now. It may not be, I don't want to be naive, but it just might work out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And maybe teachers should get to do the same thing

Not sure how that would work. If you have twenty students, and you average a two out of five, I'm sorry, but you suck. That a particular teacher doesn't get along with a particular set of parents is not comparable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Just got back from our first parent-teacher conference with our DD's DCPS PK-4 teacher. I hate this woman like poison. She seems not to give a shit about anything other than whether or not all the kids are silent, pliable little automatons. That coupled with the fact that she seemed incapable of actually listening to a word we said, or having an actual dialogue, was just horrifying. She literally couldn't look either of us in the eye, and when she responded to something one of us said, it was clear she hadn't listened to a word. Anyway, on the way home, we both agreed that this teacher could probably do minimal damage at this early stage. But the fact that we're talking about "minimal damage" is appalling.

In 30 minutes, I've gone from being mostly in favor of the DC teacher's union to thinking principals should be able to fire teachers at will. Literally, they should pass out a questionaire at the end of the school year, and if a teacher gets an average of 2 out of 5 stars, they should be given a boot in the behind.

what do you think of the school in general? the principal? any other teachers you've encountered? the community? other parents, especially those of older students may be a useful resource to you. is it a case of one bad apple, but you are otherwise happy?

also, what does your child think? is he/she enjoying the introduction to school?

you are understandably concerned. your strong reaction reflects a genuine concern with your child's education. know that you are the single most important ingredient to his/her success in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Just got back from our first parent-teacher conference with our DD's DCPS PK-4 teacher. I hate this woman like poison. She seems not to give a shit about anything other than whether or not all the kids are silent, pliable little automatons. That coupled with the fact that she seemed incapable of actually listening to a word we said, or having an actual dialogue, was just horrifying. She literally couldn't look either of us in the eye, and when she responded to something one of us said, it was clear she hadn't listened to a word. Anyway, on the way home, we both agreed that this teacher could probably do minimal damage at this early stage. But the fact that we're talking about "minimal damage" is appalling.

In 30 minutes, I've gone from being mostly in favor of the DC teacher's union to thinking principals should be able to fire teachers at will. Literally, they should pass out a questionaire at the end of the school year, and if a teacher gets an average of 2 out of 5 stars, they should be given a boot in the behind.

what do you think of the school in general? the principal? any other teachers you've encountered? the community? other parents, especially those of older students may be a useful resource to you. is it a case of one bad apple, but you are otherwise happy?

also, what does your child think? is he/she enjoying the introduction to school?

you are understandably concerned. your strong reaction reflects a genuine concern with your child's education. know that you are the single most important ingredient to his/her success in school.

OP here: Her previous teacher was fantastic. Warm, effective. Also a bit of an oddball when dealing with parents, but obviously that's to be expected. She spends most of her waking hours teaching 3-4 year olds. The school in general is more than we could've hoped for. The principal is completely amazing--she's a super-bright, incredibly dedicated force of nature. We have a really strong school community, with lots of motivated, highly-involved parents who bring tons of resources to bear.

What's stunning to me is that there's this, pardon my expression, toadstool at the teaparty that everyone acknowledges is a problem, but that there's just nothing that can be done. Job security apparently trumps every other concern.

The one thing that keeps me from getting too concerned is that several of the most involved parents in the school also have children in this class; it's almost as though they put the most invested parents in the crappy teacher's class, and all the parents who might consider jumping ship into the good teacher's class.

One other thing: this bad teacher also has a reputation for sort of discouraging parental participation (e.g. as room parents). Is this normal, or is that something of a red flag?

[Anonymous]

How could this be anything other than a red flag? It sounds like you think that the school is punishing your child for your attention to his education.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:
What's stunning to me is that there's this, pardon my expression, toadstool at the teaparty that everyone acknowledges is a problem, but that there's just nothing that can be done. Job security apparently trumps every other concern.

This sort of thinking -- along with your earlier comment blaming the WTU -- is pretty out of date. If this teacher is a veteran, she has been subject to IMPACT since 2009. If she is not being accurately evaluated, it is either due to the school administration or shortcomings in the IMPACT evaluation system. But, as a result of IMPACT, over 300 teachers were fired this year alone. Job security is not trumping every other concern and there is little the WTU can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How could this be anything other than a red flag? It sounds like you think that the school is punishing your child for your attention to his education.[/quote

I don't think she's saying that - I think she's saying the school possibly intentionally put strong parents in that class with the hope they'd be able to make it work, whereas less committed parents might experience this teacher and decide to jump ship. Strong parents can sort of do the work of connecting parents that the teacher refuses to do.

Our 'bad' teacher also actively worked against parents talking to each other or interacting. Never once dealt with room parents, consistently discouraged any sort of parental interaction. It took me a long time to realize other parents were pissed off and frustrated. I just did my time, got in there as much as I could, and talked to as many other parents as I could, though I wish I had done more - initially I didn't want ot rock the boat, and wasn't sure what was appropriate. It was long year, and in retrospect I wish I had made more of a fuss with the principal, but we managed to get through fairly successfully.

Hang in there OP. Sounds like there might be enough work arounds in place to make this at the very least an OK year, if not a good year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How could this be anything other than a red flag? It sounds like you think that the school is punishing your child for your attention to his education.

I don't think she's saying that - I think she's saying the school possibly intentionally put strong parents in that class with the hope they'd be able to make it work, whereas less committed parents might experience this teacher and decide to jump ship. Strong parents can sort of do the work of connecting parents that the teacher refuses to do.

Our 'bad' teacher also actively worked against parents talking to each other or interacting. Never once dealt with room parents, consistently discouraged any sort of parental interaction. It took me a long time to realize other parents were pissed off and frustrated. I just did my time, got in there as much as I could, and talked to as many other parents as I could, though I wish I had done more - initially I didn't want ot rock the boat, and wasn't sure what was appropriate. It was long year, and in retrospect I wish I had made more of a fuss with the principal, but we managed to get through fairly successfully.

Hang in there OP. Sounds like there might be enough work arounds in place to make this at the very least an OK year, if not a good year.

This is pretty reassuring, thanks. At least it's good to know others have been in the same position. What did you wish you'd done differently?

[Anonymous]

It took you almost 2 months to figure this out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took you almost 2 months to figure this out?

OP here. Figure what out? That the parent-teacher conference I just attended was frustrating and awful?

[Anonymous]

That the teacher is weird. Don't you interact with your child's teacher on a more regular basis?

[Anonymous]

OP,
I had the same reaction as PP. It took the conference to realize all this?

I've had some bad teachers over the years, including one who really, really did not like my child, and I never hated any of them like poison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That the teacher is weird. Don't you interact with your child's teacher on a more regular basis?

not the OP, but no, I don't in my DCPS. Have you??? I drop my child off at the door each day and pick him up in the evening. We have a no-parents-in-the-classroom policy. Pick up and drop off are 2 minute affairs---there's no time for chit-chat, etc as the crowd of kids come in and out. Back-to-school night was a bit of a blur--the teacher spoke and then a few parents had questions and then a second group of parents came in and we were ushered out.

Parent teacher conference was the first opportunity I've been given to say more than 10 words to the teacher. How are you all having more interaction????

My child loves going to school so I have no reasons to be concerned but I'm genuinely puzzled as to how the previous posters have had interaction with the teacher on a "regular basis".