how to deal with pregnancy anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I recently got a positive HPT and am thrilled, of course, but I can't seem to stop worrying that something might be wrong. I have had a miscarriage last year, so I guess that is why I am extra anxious. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you deal with it? I am not having an ultrasound for another month, so until then I just feel like I'm in limbo. I have already told my close family members, but then I was feeling like maybe I have jinxed myself and I shouldn't have done that....would love to hear how other moms handled this.

[Anonymous]

First, congratulations!

What you're feeling is totally normal. Also, you were absolutely right to tell your family. If, G-d forbid, this pregnancy doesn't work out, it's going to suck whether you stress about it or not and it will be good to have the support of friends and family. If you really are having trouble with the anxiety then explain that to the doc and get extra hcg test or move up your sonogram (depending how far along you are) to make sure everything is progressing normally. If the dr doesn't abide and you feel strongly enough, maybe check out the other recent threads about good docs for women who've miscarried. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I was very concerned throughout my entire pregnancy since I had miscarried the year before -- I think that's normal. I shared the news with everyone early on so that I would have support. Fortunately, I had perhaps the best OBGYN for a neurotic patient like me -- he knew that I needed extra reassurance so he'd do periodic sonos, etc. (more frequently than I had during my first healthy pregnancy) to show me that everything was fine. (I think my doc was more concerned about me than my baby during my pregnancy b/c I had so much anxiety.) Talk to your doctor about your concerns so that he/she can monitor you and reassure you. My doc also told me that I shouldn't worry b/c there's nothing I can do to hurt a healthy pregnancy -- it's in God's hands. That took some of the pressure off -- but I still worried -- and felt so much better after each appointment when I could hear the heartbeat. You'll feel better once you make it through the first trimester. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

The anxiety just means you're a mother

Seriously, motherhood opens up entire new UNIVERSES of anxiety that you never before knew existed.

First, you worry about the pg sticking, then you worry about the fetus being healthy, then you worry about defects that testing can't catch (strawberry birthmarks, cleft palates, etc.), then you worry about labor and delivery, then you worry about how you will handle caring for a newborn, then you worry that maybe you - of all the people in history - cannot possibly handle it and they shouldn't have let you leave the hospital with your db, then you worry whether or not your db is getting enough milk, then you worry that your breasts aren't producing enough, then you worry that your db is constipated because it's been several days since last poop (common with bfed dbs), then you worry that db will never sleep more than 2 hours at a time, then you worry about developmental milestones, then you worry about developmental milestones some more, and some more, etc., etc.

Then they grow up into children who begin to venture into the wider world without you. Then the worrying REALLY begins.

We mothers welcome you into our club!

[Anonymous]

Hang in there. You are not alone - I, too, had a ton of anxiety about my pregnancy (and I still do, currently 26 wks), because I had also miscarried my first pregnancy. It does a number on you mentally. Just have faith; say a reassuring prayer to yourself daily (or multiple times a day). I also agree with PPs who suggested letting your dr know about your anxiety. My dr is very sympathetic to a first preganacy miscarriage and the anxiety that naturally comes along with a second pregnancy. I also get a brief sono at each visit, just for reassurance. This has really helped. Though I know find myself counting down the days to the appointments. Also, it may get a bit better once you feel some movement - although I know wonder whether I'm feeing enough movement! I have to agree with the PP said that motherhood opens up a whole new level of anxiety. Just try to be in the present as much as you can and give yourself positive affirmations.

[Anonymous]

I lost my second at 38 weeks due to a cord accident and had terrible anxiety about my third. However, what helped me the most to deal with my loss and the anxiety with the next pregnancy was to take the very best care of myself and the pregnancy that I could. I wanted to be able to say that I did my very best, no matter what the outcome, so that I could go on.

Just do the very best you can and know that anxiety is normal, and probably not such a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much. I am going to chat with my doc about what's going on. Thank you.