Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

This is not at all complicated and I'm not quite sure why you're having so much trouble seeing it. Stay at home mothers are requiring someone else to provide financially for them and their loved ones. Childcare providers are not. They're earning a living and contributing, using their expertise. That's the difference. Why can you not seem to comprehend that?

And if you truly believe the previous post a comment about English speaker does not racist, but I don't know what to tell you. I would much much rather have a loving non-native English speaker watching my children than some spoiled bratty woman who wants to be at Starbucks all day.

Not the pp you're responding to, but wow.. You are a piece of work. So much anger and hatred.

I have a ton of love and respect for my childcare provider, and nothing I've said has been hateful towards anyone. I'm starting a fact, which is that I have more respect for a woman who is a loving childcare provider, bringing home a paycheck to contribute financially to her family, than a judgmental woman who basically claims that "no one should brag about having a non-English-speaking caregiver." And I'm the hateful one?

Learn how to quote stuff properly. It's really hard to take anything you say seriously when you keep doing that.

No idea what you mean. My posts look like yours. But I guess you see my point, or you wouldn't have changed the subject to HTML.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

Why is that sad? 90% of dads choose to work instead of caring for their children 168 hours a week, do you think that's a bad use of their time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

Why is that sad? 90% of dads choose to work instead of caring for their children 168 hours a week, do you think that's a bad use of their time?

How could she? He pays the bills!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

Why is that sad? 90% of dads choose to work instead of caring for their children 168 hours a week, do you think that's a bad use of their time?

How could she? He pays the bills!

But, since he's a man he's not a bad parent right!?!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Because many people think that you can take care of your children AND earn two salaries.

You can.

Of course you can - no one is disputing this! But exactly what business is it of yours if a parent chooses to spend his or her time raising children than drawing a salary? Why does that choice burn you up so much? IT'S A CHOICE. You made yours - deal with the fact that other people choose to live their lives differently.

None. And I don't care whether you work, don't work, part time work etc. I'm not sure why people care about what anyone is doing in their family. Just pointing out to the poster who said, "many people think you can do both." Yes, you can- it's not some elusive one or the other.

Sure, you "can" do both at the same time. But for many of us, both usually suffer as a result.

This is why some WOHMs look down on SAHMs - some WOHMs actually can raise well adjusted children with whom they have a close relationship and bring in serious cash, and some SAHMs don't seem to want to acknowledge that it's possible to work and parent and do both well. If you can't, you can't, but don't imply that some women can't do both without something suffering. For instance, my husband works a straight 40 hour week job. If he worked a 60 or 70 hour a week executive job with lots of travel, I might feel I couldn't WOH FT without the children suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Because many people think that you can take care of your children AND earn two salaries.

You can.

Of course you can - no one is disputing this! But exactly what business is it of yours if a parent chooses to spend his or her time raising children than drawing a salary? Why does that choice burn you up so much? IT'S A CHOICE. You made yours - deal with the fact that other people choose to live their lives differently.

None. And I don't care whether you work, don't work, part time work etc. I'm not sure why people care about what anyone is doing in their family. Just pointing out to the poster who said, "many people think you can do both." Yes, you can- it's not some elusive one or the other.

Sure, you "can" do both at the same time. But for many of us, both usually suffer as a result.

This is why some WOHMs look down on SAHMs - some WOHMs actually can raise well adjusted children with whom they have a close relationship and bring in serious cash, and some SAHMs don't seem to want to acknowledge that it's possible to work and parent and do both well. If you can't, you can't, but don't imply that some women can't do both without something suffering. For instance, my husband works a straight 40 hour week job. If he worked a 60 or 70 hour a week executive job with lots of travel, I might feel I couldn't WOH FT without the children suffering.

I agree. Oh and I should add another opinion. If it's an option for both parents to work jobs with reasonable hours and bring in a similar HHI, I think asking one parent to work insane hours so another can SAH is completely unfair and sets up a terrible family dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

Because earning a professional living is seen by many as a higher and better use of a parent's time than opting out of the workforce for years.

And there it is. So incredibly sad. I wonder what your children would think if they read your statement as adults. How pathetic for them to hear that you find working to be a better use of your time than taking care of them. Oh well - different strokes.

Why is that sad? 90% of dads choose to work instead of caring for their children 168 hours a week, do you think that's a bad use of their time?

How could she? He pays the bills!

But, since he's a man he's not a bad parent right!?!

Of course not. And if he's in BigLaw, he may barely be a parent at all! But at least the $$$ keeps coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn't read all 120+ threads, but SAHM are lazy, and it's comical when they complain about being "tired." Yes, I'm awful but it's how I truly feel.

I would say the opposite. It takes a lot of strength and courage to rely completely on a single income and to deal with babies and toddlers for months on end. This is the "lazy" choice, not the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

I always wondered about that.. The SAHM haters on DCUM.. Do they also hate the people who are taking care of their kids? They are "above" staying home with their children, so they find childcare for them, but do they respect the people that are doing this job? And if they do respect them, why do they deserve your respect above mothers who stay home instead of paying somebody else to take care of them while they go to work?

Childcare providers do not do the same thing as SAHPs. Hopefully SAHPs do much more.

You're absolutely right. Which makes it even more of a mystery how SAHMs are looked down upon by the very same people who put their childcare providers up on a pedestal.

Because many people think that you can take care of your children AND earn two salaries.

You can.

Of course you can - no one is disputing this! But exactly what business is it of yours if a parent chooses to spend his or her time raising children than drawing a salary? Why does that choice burn you up so much? IT'S A CHOICE. You made yours - deal with the fact that other people choose to live their lives differently.

None. And I don't care whether you work, don't work, part time work etc. I'm not sure why people care about what anyone is doing in their family. Just pointing out to the poster who said, "many people think you can do both." Yes, you can- it's not some elusive one or the other.

Sure, you "can" do both at the same time. But for many of us, both usually suffer as a result.

This is why some WOHMs look down on SAHMs - some WOHMs actually can raise well adjusted children with whom they have a close relationship and bring in serious cash, and some SAHMs don't seem to want to acknowledge that it's possible to work and parent and do both well. If you can't, you can't, but don't imply that some women can't do both without something suffering. For instance, my husband works a straight 40 hour week job. If he worked a 60 or 70 hour a week executive job with lots of travel, I might feel I couldn't WOH FT without the children suffering.

+1. Just because I'm a wohm doesn't mean I'm not raising my own child. It's just as infuriating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

This is not at all complicated and I'm not quite sure why you're having so much trouble seeing it. Stay at home mothers are requiring someone else to provide financially for them and their loved ones. Childcare providers are not. They're earning a living and contributing, using their expertise. That's the difference. Why can you not seem to comprehend that?

And if you truly believe the previous post a comment about English speaker does not racist, but I don't know what to tell you. I would much much rather have a loving non-native English speaker watching my children than some spoiled bratty woman who wants to be at Starbucks all day.

Not the pp you're responding to, but wow.. You are a piece of work. So much anger and hatred.

I have a ton of love and respect for my childcare provider, and nothing I've said has been hateful towards anyone. I'm starting a fact, which is that I have more respect for a woman who is a loving childcare provider, bringing home a paycheck to contribute financially to her family, than a judgmental woman who basically claims that "no one should brag about having a non-English-speaking caregiver." And I'm the hateful one?

Agree with PPs - you really ARE a piece of work. You spew your hatred of SAHMs - "some spoiled bratty woman who wants to be at Starbucks all day" - and then call out another poster who wonders why you revere childcare workers over parents as caregivers. The "non-English speaking caregiver" remark you're trotting out over and over, like a dog with a bone, was in the context of having someone who doesn't even speak your child's language taking care of said child all day and why that would be seen as preferable over a parent being home. You're the one who is attributing all sorts of negative characteristics to this fictional, stereotypical SAHM you seem to love envisioning. Clearly, you've never met a normal, loving, engaged mom who chooses to stay home with her kids. Which I think is BS, because clearly you have. You're just so damn unhappy in whatever life you've chosen for yourself that you can't bear to hear about women who chose a different path and are happy they did. Your posts are dripping with venom and deep self-loathing. Which makes quite a statement about you, and none whatsoever about SAHMs.

And as for the bolded paragraph, above - it's embarrassing what an illogical thought process you have. But not surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am absolutely shocked by the SAHM hating posts. "Lazy", "living off another person's dime," "insufferable"?
My spouse and I will make decisions based on our families' needs and you will make yours. We will all work hard and do the best we can. Some of us will teach our children to treat others with kindness and respect. The haters will teach hate.
I hope my kids don't cross paths with yours

Do you not see the language directed towards WOHMs, not to mention at childcare providers?

Really??????? No, I don't see it. (Not pp)

Just from this page:
the mom who palms her dc off to virtual strangers for most of their waking hours

Let's include the whole quote you just pulled that from so we aren't taking these words out of context. Don't be lazy, pp.

Sorry, the rest talked about how bad it is to leave your kids with a person who doesn't speak English well. You know, hardworking women providing for their families. Really reflects well on SAHMs, that poster.

Nope, sorry - you're twisting that post to suit your own bias. The post was asking why so many WOH parents seem to speak glowingly of their childcare providers yet dismissively of SAH parents. Even when the childcare provider might not speak English well (or at all), they are still seen as more desirable for their children than simply having a parent take care of them. We're still waiting for an answer, by the way. And that observation has nothing to do with racism, though you can certainly try and spin it that way.

This is not at all complicated and I'm not quite sure why you're having so much trouble seeing it. Stay at home mothers are requiring someone else to provide financially for them and their loved ones. Childcare providers are not. They're earning a living and contributing, using their expertise. That's the difference. Why can you not seem to comprehend that?

And if you truly believe the previous post a comment about English speaker does not racist, but I don't know what to tell you. I would much much rather have a loving non-native English speaker watching my children than some spoiled bratty woman who wants to be at Starbucks all day.

Not the pp you're responding to, but wow.. You are a piece of work. So much anger and hatred.

I have a ton of love and respect for my childcare provider, and nothing I've said has been hateful towards anyone. I'm starting a fact, which is that I have more respect for a woman who is a loving childcare provider, bringing home a paycheck to contribute financially to her family, than a judgmental woman who basically claims that "no one should brag about having a non-English-speaking caregiver." And I'm the hateful one?

Agree with PPs - you really ARE a piece of work. You spew your hatred of SAHMs - "some spoiled bratty woman who wants to be at Starbucks all day" - and then call out another poster who wonders why you revere childcare workers over parents as caregivers. The "non-English speaking caregiver" remark you're trotting out over and over, like a dog with a bone, was in the context of having someone who doesn't even speak your child's language taking care of said child all day and why that would be seen as preferable over a parent being home. You're the one who is attributing all sorts of negative characteristics to this fictional, stereotypical SAHM you seem to love envisioning. Clearly, you've never met a normal, loving, engaged mom who chooses to stay home with her kids. Which I think is BS, because clearly you have. You're just so damn unhappy in whatever life you've chosen for yourself that you can't bear to hear about women who chose a different path and are happy they did. Your posts are dripping with venom and deep self-loathing. Which makes quite a statement about you, and none whatsoever about SAHMs.

And as for the bolded paragraph, above - it's embarrassing what an illogical thought process you have. But not surprising.

Your complete lack of logic is utterly baffling. Let me dumb it down.
a) A poster asked why some people respect caregivers but not some SAHMs, inferring that two positions are equal.
b) I replied that I respect women who contribute financially to their families. Those women include paid childcare providers. They do not include most SAHMs.
c) A SAHM who is bankrolled by her husband is different than a childcare worker who does it as a career.

I never said anything about revering childcare providers. Like most humans, some are wonderful and some are not. Like SAHMs, in fact.

I will never understand the constant accusation that anyone who believes differently must be unhappy. Because I believe that women are equal to men and should take pride in being partners and providers, I hate myself?

And I'm FAR from the only one on this thread with my opinions.

[Anonymous]

Question for those of you who look down upon SAHMs: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, in Australia there is some Muslim lawyer woman that screemed intolerance over a t-shirt that said love it or leave, regarding the national flag. If she hadn't made a stink over it, no one would be sending her hate mail. Personally, I feel the same way. If you hate America so much GTFO, whether you're white, black, purple whatever.

You poor misguided soul! This has become the "duke it out over SAHM" thread - far from the original header.... so sorry! You will have to start a NEW thread (which, will, of course, become another SAHM thread...) oh well. This really is a one-note town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for those of you who look down upon SAHMs: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for those of you who look down upon SAHMs: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Not really.

Well good - at least you're honest about that. Because feminism, in my book, includes celebrating the many choices women have and their ability to go after the one that works for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, in Australia there is some Muslim lawyer woman that screemed intolerance over a t-shirt that said love it or leave, regarding the national flag. If she hadn't made a stink over it, no one would be sending her hate mail. Personally, I feel the same way. If you hate America so much GTFO, whether you're white, black, purple whatever.

You poor misguided soul! This has become the "duke it out over SAHM" thread - far from the original header.... so sorry! You will have to start a NEW thread (which, will, of course, become another SAHM thread...) oh well. This really is a one-note town.

Yes, this thread rapidly disintegrated and why? Oh, that's right. Because some moron chose to call SAHMs lazy and then others chimed in with their agreement. See what happens when you denigrate someone's lifestyle because you just don't approve of it? People tend to defend themselves.