Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!

[Anonymous]

/Requesting PP here - MWAH!! Larlene is Kohl's personified!/

PP author (Walmart and VV, too) and glad you enjoyed this! I’m an infrequent Kohl’s shopper and fan - so I guess I’m describing some aspects of myself!

My turn to request a store: Nordstrom Rack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:/Requesting PP here - MWAH!! Larlene is Kohl's personified!/

PP author (Walmart and VV, too) and glad you enjoyed this! I’m an infrequent Kohl’s shopper and fan - so I guess I’m describing some aspects of myself!

My turn to request a store: Nordstrom Rack.

You have the money. You have the taste. But GODDAMNIT, YOU LOVE A BARGAIN.. You’re the queen of sales. Anything you want to wear, you can find for AT LEAST 30% off. If it’s not immediately on sale, you’ll find a coupon code. If there’s no code, you use that gov ID from your contracting job to get a discount. If that doesn’t work, have DD buy it with a student discount on your card (“Ugh, mom, that’s fugly, I’d never wear that!” she always tells you, used to your shopping addiction by now, but buying the items anyway).

You live in Dunn Loring and have 3 kids. DD with the student ID is the oldest and goes to VCU; she’s the artiste of the family, hence your drastically different styles. Your middle child goes to Marshall for the IB program and he’s in band. Your youngest son loves science and science experiments. Your DH works at the USPTO and you’re a SAHM.

You’ve been into trashy fiction during quarantine; reading is tour favorite form of entertainment, but you were always too busy before. You do lots of volunteer work and have a big dog at home, who also takes up a lot of your time (luckily, your kids are into taking care of him now that they’re home all the time. He still likes you the best, anyway).

[Anonymous]

Some great writers in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:/Requesting PP here - MWAH!! Larlene is Kohl's personified!/

PP author (Walmart and VV, too) and glad you enjoyed this! I’m an infrequent Kohl’s shopper and fan - so I guess I’m describing some aspects of myself!

My turn to request a store: Nordstrom Rack.

You have the money. You have the taste. But GODDAMNIT, YOU LOVE A BARGAIN.. You’re the queen of sales. Anything you want to wear, you can find for AT LEAST 30% off. If it’s not immediately on sale, you’ll find a coupon code. If there’s no code, you use that gov ID from your contracting job to get a discount. If that doesn’t work, have DD buy it with a student discount on your card (“Ugh, mom, that’s fugly, I’d never wear that!” she always tells you, used to your shopping addiction by now, but buying the items anyway).

You live in Dunn Loring and have 3 kids. DD with the student ID is the oldest and goes to VCU; she’s the artiste of the family, hence your drastically different styles. Your middle child goes to Marshall for the IB program and he’s in band. Your youngest son loves science and science experiments. Your DH works at the USPTO and you’re a SAHM.

You’ve been into trashy fiction during quarantine; reading is tour favorite form of entertainment, but you were always too busy before. You do lots of volunteer work and have a big dog at home, who also takes up a lot of your time (luckily, your kids are into taking care of him now that they’re home all the time. He still likes you the best, anyway).

PP NR request and I’m here marveling at your spot on accuracy. Were you behind is in line last Saturday at NR?

I was shopping with oldest DC (of 3) a college student who is my home decor and fashion advisor who is also a whiz with coupon codes! She got a student discount for our purchases. I can’t be bothered, but if I shop with her, she’ll take over! I couldn’t be prouder!

Eerily close to zip code and yes, youngest is into science (not shopping). Former SAHM who indeed was a devoted volunteer. One of my volunteer positions turned into a FT career.

[Anonymous]

Oh and the all caps exclamation about a bargain? Hell, yes! I’m my nerdiest self when I’m shopping just about anywhere.
Known for my discerning eye and good taste. Still laughing at your description - thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vineyard Vines

Loro Piana

Bonobos

Jos. A. Banks

Every.single.male.fed from GS-13 to GS-15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vineyard Vines

Loro Piana

Bonobos

Jos. A. Banks

Every.single.male.fed from GS-13 to GS-15.

*Looks around. Tis true.

[Anonymous]

This thread is so funny -- such good writers. Can someone please post a link to the tell me your child's name and I'll describe you thread? Sounds fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone done Zara yet?

I really don't care, do u?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I find this thread clever at points, it has an undercurrent of mean and full of shit insecurity to it too

Agree. Fun, but also mean and mostly inaccurate.

I think we found the two Chico's shoppers!!!

Not even close.

But I just think maybe I'm starting to get "over" DCUM. Not over it, necessarily, but noticing that snark takes up more space in my head than is probably true of healthy people who don't read DCUM, Reddit, and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:/Requesting PP here - MWAH!! Larlene is Kohl's personified!/

PP author (Walmart and VV, too) and glad you enjoyed this! I’m an infrequent Kohl’s shopper and fan - so I guess I’m describing some aspects of myself!

My turn to request a store: Nordstrom Rack.

You have the money. You have the taste. But GODDAMNIT, YOU LOVE A BARGAIN.. You’re the queen of sales. Anything you want to wear, you can find for AT LEAST 30% off. If it’s not immediately on sale, you’ll find a coupon code. If there’s no code, you use that gov ID from your contracting job to get a discount. If that doesn’t work, have DD buy it with a student discount on your card (“Ugh, mom, that’s fugly, I’d never wear that!” she always tells you, used to your shopping addiction by now, but buying the items anyway).

You live in Dunn Loring and have 3 kids. DD with the student ID is the oldest and goes to VCU; she’s the artiste of the family, hence your drastically different styles. Your middle child goes to Marshall for the IB program and he’s in band. Your youngest son loves science and science experiments. Your DH works at the USPTO and you’re a SAHM.

You’ve been into trashy fiction during quarantine; reading is tour favorite form of entertainment, but you were always too busy before. You do lots of volunteer work and have a big dog at home, who also takes up a lot of your time (luckily, your kids are into taking care of him now that they’re home all the time. He still likes you the best, anyway).

I like this mom. She sounds nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Supreme

"Why don't sneaker companies make more colorways in women's sizes?" she lamented to her boyfriend. He nodded in agreement, but was too immersed in his perfecting his latest SoundCloud mix to really hear her.

On an episode of Sex and The City, Carrie feared that she would literally be the old woman who lived in her shoe, having spent nearly $40,000 on designer heels. Our protagonist hasn't spent QUITE that much on her carefully curated collection of Supreme's rarest hoodies, tees. and collabs, but she certainly could have learned Mandarin and Arabic and trained for a triathlon and cooked her way through every Julia Child cookbook in the time she spent on line at the Supreme store in New York -- she almost missed her film final in her last semester at NYU -- and combing eBay for Supreme's '97 tee with the Burberry check in the box logo.

And although she felt the occasional pang of regret that she didn't have more money saved up at 30-something-ish (cough cough), she liked her bungalow in Mt. Rainier, and did she really want to live in Upper NW, where her brother and sister-in-law dressed her poor nephews in complimentary (not matching, because ew) Polo shirts and Brooks Brothers khakis? Decidedly no! She remembered when she and her brother would share a joint in the backyard, listening to Nas and Velvet Underground and Dead Kennedys and Dr. Dre and anything that wasn't Dave Matthews Band. Now her brother played golf and worried about his sodium intake.

Many of her contemporaries have moved on to Off-White, or to a more mature aesthetic, period. Her friend Lauren showed up at dinner last year in a vintage St. John (GAG!) jacket that belonged to her mother. WTF was THAT all about? She pictured Lauren driving off in the S-class Lauren's husband bought last year. Lauren, dressed like a docent, mouthing the words to every song on Paul's Boutique.

Oh god, I know her. I love her as a person, but I shake my head sometimes when I think of her.

Duro Oluwo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:VV PP and re: Tripp and bubbles/John Johns: Tripp has no say in any matter regarding child rearing or home decor. None. He’s been emasculated and this is part of Larla’s retro 50s/60s SAHM sensibility.

Larla has joined the Junior League and between working at the the JL thrift store, teaching Sunday (Episcopal) School and planning the JL Christmas Event (a former sorority standards board chair, she keeps new-member service hour records) and is very, very busy, thank you! Tripp has golf, she has the JL.

And yes, Tripp still hangs with his fraternity brothers and is on partner track. In the summer, Tripp wears seersucker suits with a bow tie and camel colored oxfords - a Big Boy version of John Johns. Tripp unironically wears madras pants or shorts. On weekends, Tripp wears a polo shirt, driving Mocs and “beat up” khakis he’s had since HS. Tools around in his BMW.

Tripp is definitely a bourbon connoisseur and drinks it to cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and the all caps exclamation about a bargain? Hell, yes! I’m my nerdiest self when I’m shopping just about anywhere.
Known for my discerning eye and good taste. Still laughing at your description - thank you!

I'm really glad you like it! That's insane how close it ended up being. I hope you find more bargains this winter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so funny -- such good writers. Can someone please post a link to the tell me your child's name and I'll describe you thread? Sounds fun.

Get your popcorn, it's a long read: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/312573.page