Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHMS period.

That is just silly. Plenty of people without a lot of money SAH.

But the thread title is unintentional status symbols. They could work most anywhere, but don't need to work anywhere. It is an unintentional announcement of the status of the family (or HHI, rather).

I just don't follow your logic. I SAH because I was a teacher and teachers barely earn more than nannies in this town. Any daycare center or nanny would have taken the vast majority of my earnings. Thus I feel like in my case staying at home is indicative of how little earning potential I have.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competing in triathlons, marathons, etc. It's trickling down a bit, but still largely belongs to upper middle class and up. Although they are show-offy pursuits, it's athletic prowess that's being shown off; I don't think most participants do it to flaunt wealth. Therefore, unintentional status symbols.

Yes plus the free time to train et

This. Really, any sporting hobby that requires time to train, any kind of specialized equipement, and the time and money to travel to events, etc.

[Anonymous]

People are definitely missing the point of "unintentional". The triathlon stuff, a lot of the attachment parenting philosophies, certain dietary habits or restrictions...these are available to the population as a whole, but in this area a large majority of those who have the leisure time, the research time, and the funds to accommodate such things also happen to be wealthy. So, yes, anyone can SAH, make their own baby food, eat gluten-free bagels, train for a half-ironman, extol the virtues of their walkable lifestyle, etc. But the vast, vast majority of people (women especially) who I know who have or do these things have $$$$$.

[Anonymous]

OK. Who the hell is the thread cop who keeps dropping in to redirect us

"Not quite ..."

"You guys are missing the point of this exercise."

"Let me explain the assignment again."

"Remember, it's UNintentional. UNitentional...."

I didn't realize this was a facilitated discussion. Damn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Walking to the grocery store because you simply cannot abide having to freeze some chicken.

Owning a Vitamix, a Sodastream, and a Nespresso.

Not wearing make-up.

Not wearing make-up?? I don't get it. How is that a status symbol?

Who knew? I have a vitamix (came with the husband 12 years ago), a Sodastream (trying to save a little money and make healthier fizzy drinks) and I never wear make-up.

I've never worn foundation or compact powder. I consider myself made up when I have eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK. Who the hell is the thread cop who keeps dropping in to redirect us

"Not quite ..."

"You guys are missing the point of this exercise."

"Let me explain the assignment again."

"Remember, it's UNintentional. UNitentional...."

I didn't realize this was a facilitated discussion. Damn.

You're bitter about your obviously-trying-too-hard North Face fleece and Mercedes, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK. Who the hell is the thread cop who keeps dropping in to redirect us

"Not quite ..."

"You guys are missing the point of this exercise."

"Let me explain the assignment again."

"Remember, it's UNintentional. UNitentional...."

I didn't realize this was a facilitated discussion. Damn.

You're bitter about your obviously-trying-too-hard North Face fleece and Mercedes, right?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK. Who the hell is the thread cop who keeps dropping in to redirect us

"Not quite ..."

"You guys are missing the point of this exercise."

"Let me explain the assignment again."

"Remember, it's UNintentional. UNitentional...."

I didn't realize this was a facilitated discussion. Damn.

You're bitter about your obviously-trying-too-hard North Face fleece and Mercedes, right?

I am solid middle class. I have no problem with the topic, but rather the person (people) who keeps reiterating the thread title for us. Like we're children who are missing the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. Yup. This is a New England thing, though, I think. I'm from CT so I get this (though, sadly, I'm not one of the lucky ones). But yeah, we have friends with old family homes on the Vineyard and random little islands in Maine. They wear LL Bean fleeces all summer at said cottages (which are always extremely low-key, weathered, and rustic but at the same time perfectly tasteful and of obvious quality that has aged well). Old Volvos and Saabs and, back in the day, Jeep Wagoneers (remember those? LOVE). Very little jewelry or makeup, but they're always in shape so they can pull of the sporty look well. They ski, they sail, they know art, and they have interesting names for their grandparents. Point being, they don't have to broadcast their money with more high-end fleeces or white elephant summer homes. The low-key approach broadcasts their privilege and family background much more effectively to those who understand the code. I actually find it more refreshing than the flashiness around DC.

YES!!!!!!! Nailed it.

+1. I am from CT and this isn't my family but describes it to a tee. No flashy brands, cars, whatever. That would be considered totally gauche. Old LL bean anything, beat up Volvo or Saab. Weathered polos, etc.

I went to an Ivy League school, and this describes the second and third generation legacies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prius
smaller house/short commute
cloth diapers/breast feeding to over one year
beach vacation on Outer Banks
Children attending UVA/W&M or UMCP -In State
Attending certain Congregations
Summer pool memberships in NOVA with children on summer swim team and in year round swim programs
using the library for most of your children books under age 8
half day preschool
AAP
A child that goes to John's Hopkins for CTY

This is my family. And we have $4 million, unlike our neighbors in the $1.5 million house who vacation in Tuscany. Ha ha.

How do you know how much your neighbors have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tip well.

I was at Massage Envy yesterday and my masseuse and I were talking about over-entitled in the area. She was dating how some will come in for 90-2 hour deep tissue massage and leave $10 tip. The expensive brand whores are the worst she said.

I think she thinks I'm poor because I walk over in my gap jeans and new balance, no make-up but I tip 20- 25%.

I treat all service industry--with mucho respect.

It's classless to think you are better than them.

This is true. In the beauty forums a couple months ago someone was complaining about how it's expected to tip your hair stylist 20%. I said if you can't afford the extra 20% tip, you can't afford the stylist. Same with eating out. If the tip just puts you over the edge, don't bother going for the meal at all. I'm by no means wealthy (not poor either, solid middle class) and I tip well always. That's just good manners.

+100

I was appalled at those bitches on the massage tipping thread.

If they've never had to work for tips, they have no idea what it's like to serve people.

This is untrue...1/2 my family--mom's side is extremely wealthy and the biggest tippers, most generous out there. Some people are just assholes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's weird to me how New Englanders think looking plain is virtuous or indicative of status. What's wrong with looking nice?

I say this with all seriousness, this is remnant of New England's puritan roots. Read up on Cotton Mather and 17th c. history, the puritans who colonized Massachusetts had no problem with earning money, they saw that as a sign of God's grace, but ostentatious displays of wealth were verboten- hence all the 17th c. portraits of dour men & women in black and gray. You could argue that this aesthetic is a status symbol to those in the know, and therefore is not as virtuous as you might think.

It is certainly regional, having spent time around old money families in NYC (as a lowly peon, working events at the Met), those grand old dames were always immaculately coiffed.

[Anonymous]

Carpool lane numbers in the front of cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wearing (expensive) sneakers to work with your sportcoat. At least in STEM fields, it means you're on trend and innovative, but still important (see sportcoat).

Shopping at the farmer's market

Making your own baby food

Produce at the Farmer's Market is often more affordable and because it's local there's less of a carbon footprint. Many are now taking EBT so there goes the status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. Yup. This is a New England thing, though, I think. I'm from CT so I get this (though, sadly, I'm not one of the lucky ones). But yeah, we have friends with old family homes on the Vineyard and random little islands in Maine. They wear LL Bean fleeces all summer at said cottages (which are always extremely low-key, weathered, and rustic but at the same time perfectly tasteful and of obvious quality that has aged well). Old Volvos and Saabs and, back in the day, Jeep Wagoneers (remember those? LOVE). Very little jewelry or makeup, but they're always in shape so they can pull of the sporty look well. They ski, they sail, they know art, and they have interesting names for their grandparents. Point being, they don't have to broadcast their money with more high-end fleeces or white elephant summer homes. The low-key approach broadcasts their privilege and family background much more effectively to those who understand the code. I actually find it more refreshing than the flashiness around DC.

YES!!!!!!! Nailed it.

+1. I am from CT and this isn't my family but describes it to a tee. No flashy brands, cars, whatever. That would be considered totally gauche. Old LL bean anything, beat up Volvo or Saab. Weathered polos, etc.

Describing every other tool I would see in New England lining up for the ferry. Weathered polos, khaki ball cap from The Black Dog Tavern, carrying the "weekend duffle bag." Wives with sweaters tied around their necks just because and sporting perfectly broken-in boat shoes. UGH.

^ what you just described is the posers trying hard to *emulate* the authentic shabby New England elite! No true Brahmin would wear a Black Dog logo, and the LL Bean totes must be at least 40 years old, and worn/stained from having been used on a sailboat.