My son's kindergarten class has several 7 yr olds in it.

[Anonymous]

"Those of us with high school kids can tell you it really, really doesn't make a difference. "

As a high school parent of three, I can tell you that this is false. If it does not make a difference, why do so many parents of students who are doing well in school decide to have their son repeat a year? I am not speaking to those who see an issue in kindergarten and for various reasons, intellectual or emotional, decide to have their child repeat a year. What a very difficult decision and I know of several parents who have struggled with this.


I do have an issue with successful students being held back in 3-7th grade for other reasons, namely sports. There are quite a few of these red-shirted athletes on the various teams around, lacrosse and basketball seem the most prevalent. Whenever you hear the word "phenomenon" attached to a high school athlete, check his age. I am always curious when I see the All-Met teams come out ....how many of these athletes were red-shirted?..I would love it if the Post did research on this. This seems to be much more frequent occurrence in DC and Maryland than in Virginia. Many Virginia parents show up at privates in DC and MD wondering what in the world....how could all these students get held back?

I have seen athletes being mowed over in freshman football by the 220lb late 15 year old or 16 year old freshman. You may argue that there are 220lb 14 year olds doing the same thing...but these 14year old athletes do not have the muscle mass that a 16 year old would have. A one year difference is huge at this age as well as the remaining years of high school. That is why parents do it!

It also can make a difference socially. Those students who are 1 year to 18 months older do bring a new set of issues to the table. Your 14 year old freshman daughter may not be ready for the issues a 16 year freshman boy brings. I am not saying that every 16 year old freshman boy is not to be trusted..but what I am saying is the argument that "it does not make a difference" to red-shirt is ridiculous.

That is why parents spend an extra chunk of money on that extra year. Again, some students do truly need this extra year to be successful...and I believe these are in the minority .....for others....merely a "vanity" year....parents looking for that edge for little johnny.

So what?

So Little Johnnie wants to red shirt so he is termed a athletic phenom? Does not bother me or my children in the least. Take care of your own business. You're spending too much time conjuring up lofty attributes in older children in a class.

If your child is destined for leadership, scholarship or the Hall of Fame; I assure you he or she will not be deterred by bearded or buxom geriatric 9th Graders ("phenoms")!

[Anonymous]

"If your child is destined for leadership, scholarship or the Hall of Fame; I assure you he or she will not be deterred by bearded or buxom geriatric 9th Graders ("phenoms")! "

Totally agree!!! This is not a new development in schools either, although it may be more prevalent now. Parents just complain about EVERY perceived problem of unfairness now, and this is another example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is what the complainers always say. That they somehow think parents are cheating. They really have no idea of the variety of kids out there and the reasons parents make this decision. And they have younger children,more often than not. Those of us with high school kids can tell you it really, really doesn't make a difference. Chill out. There's really nothing to be gained by working yourself up over what you perceive to be someone else's vanity.

You say that, but my conversations with the PreK, K, 1, 2, 3 grade teachers who are impacted by the decisions suggests otherwise. Sure, by high school, they have all gone through puberty, have the option for drivers licenses and can compete physically with each other on the fields and courts. In the younger years, the academics and social structures are being engineered by parents who are making a determination that their child, based on no physical or mental impairments, need more time so they can be groomed into leaders and class achievers. At the end of the day, their kids realize they are being paired with kids a year younger. It is sad, and the school administrators should not encourage it.

How about this approach, then? If you know the school administration is in favor of having older kids in the class, particularly boys, and it bothers you, then either red-shirt your kid if it's that big of a deal to you, or send your kid elsewhere. The school administrations are largely in favor of red-shirting for at least half of the summer boy applicants it seems (more at our kids' school). It sounds like you don't like a school's determination as to class make-up. So vote with your feet. I have a DS who is a redshirted August birthday boy, and well as a May birthday girl who will be in class with boys, horror, a year older than she is. They are both wholly developmentally appropriate for their grades. And that's one of the things I love about independent schools, that they aren't required to take an arbitrary date to decide who should be in what grade, and instead can look at the kid. If you want bright line rules, go to a school that has them. Lots of us prefer the more individualized assessment.

[Anonymous]

the age cut off has to be somewhere.
There will always be a kid that is the oldest, and one that is the youngest.
Even without redshirting, the age difference can be 1 year -1 day, 364 days

[Anonymous]

Definition of fairness and a fair playing field: One classroom, one child, one birth date (out of 365 days) and one teacher!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people with kids who have birthdays in August, for example, it is going to be either a choice btw kids a year younger or kids a year older. What makes you so positive that it is wrong and sad to choose to have them be on the older end?

None of this discussion is about summer birthdays. This is about people who are holding their kids back with Jan-May birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definition of fairness and a fair playing field: One classroom, one child, one birth date (out of 365 days) and one teacher!

Another definition of fairness: Allow independent schools to make their own choices, and allow parents to choose where they want their kids to go to school. If a school wants to look at kids individually when deciding placement, let them do so. If a parent wants an age-based equal starting line approach, feel free to choose a school that agrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people with kids who have birthdays in August, for example, it is going to be either a choice btw kids a year younger or kids a year older. What makes you so positive that it is wrong and sad to choose to have them be on the older end?

None of this discussion is about summer birthdays. This is about people who are holding their kids back with Jan-May birthdays.

The discussion morphed into one about redshirting in general, and the vast majority of red-shirted kids are summer bdays. In fact, I know of no one who was red-shirted with a bday before June either from own kids's schools or from the 3 independent schools have I taught at. The oldest kid I ever taught was a June boy, and you would have never known in grade 7 that he was the oldest in the class.

[Anonymous]

There are several kids in our DC class who are Spring bdays who are a year older than classmates - the bdays are in the Feb-Mar timeframe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are several kids in our DC class who are Spring bdays who are a year older than classmates - the bdays are in the Feb-Mar timeframe.

What school, and how many are "several"? My experience is the same at teacher's above. I've got two children who've now spent time at two different schools, and neither has ever had a classmate older than a June birthday.

[Anonymous]

DS has an August birthday, who is 2.5 younger than DD. He is so eager to grow up and do everything that DD is doing, I really cannot imagine holding him back one year.

[Anonymous]

I think you find more spring birthday boys being redshirted up in Baltimore where typically 25-30% of all kids spend a year in pre-1st.

I expect to think carefully next year about redshirting my DD who is a Feb bday but bc of extreme prematurity and a resulting stroke has OT and speech delays and some maturity issues that mean she fits right in with (and advances at the same rate as) kids about a year younger. I hope the kids with whom she is in class are not as mean-spirited as some of the moms on this board. Trust me, my DD will NEVER be the start athlete (though she may knock your kid's socks off at math olympiad!). Stop judging because you never never never know all of the facts - and one day it could be your kid with CP who would honestly benefit from the "gift of time."

[Anonymous]

No One is complaining about the kids who really need it. I think the complaints are about the ones who do not. If you are familiar with Baltimore than you know that it is a policy to redshirt via pre-first. Some schools have 50% of their k classes doing pre-first. 50% of a normal clas in a traditional (non learning difference) schools does not have developmental delays. Also, when I spoke to several admissions people they will tell you that most of the kids that go onto pre-first are spring and summer birthdays. Some of the spring and summer kids don't go to pre-first but it is very few just like some of the kids who have earlier birthdays get redshirted. They also often say that kids are not being redshirted for academic reason and that some of their stronger students academically may end up in pre-first, it just depends. Meaning it is very subjective. I have also had them say that some parents ask for redshirting even though the school did not suggest or recommend it.

[Anonymous]

Also, I do believe that they have a policy that a kid turning 7 prior to Sept. 1 can not be consider for K, I think they have to go on to 1st perhaps pre-first but not positive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her redshirted child was rejected at the first choice school but admitted at the second choice school. It's a little awkward, because her DC is currently in K and doesn't understand why he will be in K again next year. He may be young, but he's smart enough to know that his classmates are going onto first grade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A very close relative redshirted her (May birthday) DC this year--WPPSI score in the high 90s and no developmental delays. She just thought that in this competitive admissions process, her DC would appear to be a stronger, more mature and more compelling applicant if compared to "younger" kids. So for those of you pretending that anyone who redshirts must be doing so for "honorable" reasons, you can drop the Pollyanna act.

Did it work? Why do schools go along with this? Can't they push back? At our school, I know of at least one case where the parents would have liked to redshirt and the school insisted on placement in the higher grade.

My friend did this to her child. She couldn't understand why she was repeating K either. Some people want to game the system. Others want to play by the rules. It's a choice. IMHO it is unfair when kids like these (smart, capable) are held back for an edge. They do have the advantage academically and often make the regular aged childten look dumb by comparison. It's too bad the teachers forget the age spread.