I really am sorry for sitting at your table!
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Anonymous
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Not sure why this incident upset me so much. The other day I sat down at a picnic table that was already occupied by a lady who appeared to be on her own. It was the table nearest to the play area and I wanted to watch my 3 kids playing. I later found out the lady was there with her 3 kids and husband who happened to be playing on the play ground at the time. It was at a beach/lake so even though there was a play ground, not everyone there had children. I was distracted and did not think to ask if the rest of the table was occupied. It was also a very large table. As soon as I sat down I noticed she got up and left but did not think much about it. Later on my husband joined me and we went to play a little with the kids and then decided we wanted to sit down again. We returned to the picnic table and found that the lady was once again sitting there. As soon as my husband and I sat down, she said in a very loud voice :Look, I'll [b] move. There are so many other tables! " and she stormed off. She sat at the adjacent table for about 15 minutes when she was joined by her husband and 3 kids and they then left. My husband and I were both stunned.
I understand that I should have asked, but she just looked like she was on her own with none of the usual child paraphernalia. I'm not even sure why her behaviour upset me so much but it did. I felt small for not noticing that she might need the whole table and I just wanted to tell her that I was so sorry, I thought she was on her own or I would not have sat at 'her' table. I felt bad for irritating someone so much. I'm not very territorial about such things and would not have noticed if it had been the other way around. Just wanted to vent |
Anonymous
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You are not really sorry for sitting at her table. You just want absolution. Yes, you should have asked and not made assumptions. If I had been her I would have politely told you that we are already sitting at this table.
Why didn't you apologize to her or explain to her why you thought you were entitled to sitting at this table more than her? |
Anonymous
Sadly, I have to agree with this person. OP, you said that she sat at the other table for 15 minutes with her husband and kids so why not take that opportunity of time, to go over and apologize to her? I do not think you were in the wrong OP, nor was she...but you could have calmed her nerves a little with an apology. |
Anonymous
| OP, I think this woman was way out of line. Life is too short to deal with morons like this lady, imo! |
Anonymous
| Nothing to apologize for OP. By your account she did not need the table. A person who did would just say "I am sorry but I am saving the table" or something like that. She was in the wrong for thinking random strangers in public were capable of mind reading. Its a public place, people sit down, it happens. |
Anonymous
Read it again. OP said the lady sat there alone for 15 min until her dh and kids returned and then promptly left. Anyway, OP, the lady could've explained. You could've asked. No harm, no foul. |
Anonymous
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Dude, it's a PUBLIC picnic table for crying out loud. It isn't like you sidled right up to her and got all cozy. You chilled at the other end to watch your kids. Sheesh.
If she had a problem with it she should have stated she was saving it for her family vs the passive aggressive bs she pulled. |
Anonymous
| I don't think the lady handled it very well, but I had a question. Were there vacant tables around when you sat with her? If there were, I'd find it a little strange that you sat at one that was occupied. I also would have asked if it was OK to sit down before I actually did. |
Anonymous
| Did you have stuff / gear / belongings with you OP - as in it looked like you were taking over the table? If you had nothing with you and just perched on the end of the bench then no big deal but if you came to the table with all your stuff and pretty much ignored the fact she was there then you were rude. Even if I was just sitting for a minute I'd probably make eye contact and smile or say - mind if I sit here for a minute to watch the kids? |
Anonymous
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OP are you from here? I have been vacationing elsewhere, only to find others try to MOVE our belongings to claim a table. Bartender came over and moved it back without us noticing. It struck us as funny. We asked the other party - you from DC - sure enough they were! Funny! I have had people deliberately TRY to steal tables out from under me with my party's belongings right THERE (in plain view, for us lawyers). No big deal, if you want to share fine, but EXPECT to SHARE! The most recent had the people leaving for another table. How friendly????? Not. Again, funny. OP, you really should have said something. I agree with PP. Passive aggressive gets you NO WHERE in the REAL world!  Learn this!
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Anonymous
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Sounds like OP sat down even though there were other tables so she can be close to the kids. Yeah, should have asked and yet you came here to vent even though you are at wrong, sorta of maybe out of guilt???
Op you got angry when you saw this lady got mad at you and now you feel guilty. It happens all the time. Try not to be angry or resolve the issue right there and then. No big deal. The other lady on the other hand spoke up...I dealt she feels any guilt. |
Anonymous
Nothing in her post said she they left promptly. Said she sat at the table for 15 minutes and then joined by husband and kids and then left. They could have stayed there for another 30 minutes, we do not know. However, I think it is just rude to sit at another table that anyone is sitting at, without asking. |
Anonymous
| Why would it have been okay to sit down if she had been there on her own? I sometimes eat my lunch at a park with picnic tables near a playground and I would be bothered if some random person came over and sat with me when there were plenty of other tables. I would, however, not gotten mad and moved. I would simply have said that I was still using the table and that you could have it when I was done. |
Anonymous
This. I've told people in a polite way that I'm saving a cable or chairs. There was no reason for her to be rude and nasty and in the end very passive agressive. |
Anonymous
Seriously? The average picnic table seats 6-8 people, and you need the whole table to yourself? How big is your ass?? Never go to Europe. It's not unusual there for waiters in a crowded casual restaurant to seat complete strangers with you, at much smaller tables. |