RSVPs - no reply = not coming?

[Anonymous]

I know this topic has come up numerous times but I did a search and couldn't find an answer to my question. All but one person has RSVPed to DC's birthday party and I've already sent a reminder e-mail. Is it assumed that no reply means they're not coming? It's not that big of a deal, but this invite went to a classmate with two siblings so I would want to know if the siblings are coming as well. I know proper etiquette states that only the person/people named on the invite should be coming, but after reading about how common it is for siblings to tag along, I want to be prepared.

[Anonymous]

It's tough to know what no reply means, but at my daughter's recent birthday party we have 4 no replies, and none showed up.

[Anonymous]

I've hosted a couple of kid parties and have NEVER had a no reply show up.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to call the family and double check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've hosted a couple of kid parties and have NEVER had a no reply show up.

I agree, the ones who don't respond never show.

They act like they never knew there was a party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it would be inappropriate for you to call the family and double check.

Don't waste your time calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've hosted a couple of kid parties and have NEVER had a no reply show up.

I agree, the ones who don't respond never show.

They act like they never knew there was a party.

I don't know that they act like there was never a party. It's just that most people don't actively reply no. Some do, and when I've been the host, it is appreciated (especially because you may be waiting to hear from people last-minute).

[Anonymous]

are you sure the address you have for them is correct? I sent out an evite for my daughter's birthday and was surprised that a couple of people hadn't even viewed the evite a couple weeks later. Called one of them and the email address I had for her was not one she uses anymore. That's really common - some people change email addresses really often.

On a related note, is it ok to respond on the last RSVP day? I recently responded on the "please respond by" date - early in the day, about 10 days before the party (at a venue with a fixed cost regardless of the # of kids) and the mom seemed really pissed at me. Because I split custody with my ex and he gets to choose which day he gets our daughter 1/2 the weekends (and he hates planning far in advance), sometimes I legitimately don't know our schedule until a week or so before. But I always RSVP by the RSVP date.

[Anonymous]

It depends on why you really need to know. Is it because you are paying by head? Need extra gift bags etc? For us if I can't get through to a family then I will actually have extra gift bags on hand just in case (for the kid and the sibling) if it doesn't get used then I find another use for it later (stocking stuffer at the holidays). If its for a head count the last couple places we held a party did an actual headcount at the party and confirmed with me how much pizza to order. This meant I was only paying for the kids that showed up and we had plenty of food. If the party is at your house having extra food on hand is usually pretty easy. It has been in my experience that I get the night before calls from parents asking if its ok to bring the kids afterall. Being prepared means I can say sure. It does bother me but I realize everyone has busy schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you sure the address you have for them is correct? I sent out an evite for my daughter's birthday and was surprised that a couple of people hadn't even viewed the evite a couple weeks later. Called one of them and the email address I had for her was not one she uses anymore. That's really common - some people change email addresses really often.

On a related note, is it ok to respond on the last RSVP day? I recently responded on the "please respond by" date - early in the day, about 10 days before the party (at a venue with a fixed cost regardless of the # of kids) and the mom seemed really pissed at me. Because I split custody with my ex and he gets to choose which day he gets our daughter 1/2 the weekends (and he hates planning far in advance), sometimes I legitimately don't know our schedule until a week or so before. But I always RSVP by the RSVP date.

This is just silly, of course it SHOULD be okay to RSVP on the last RSVP date, that's why the date is there. I don't know why this mom got all mad at you because she shouldn't have.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the replies everyone! The invitations were mailed to the kids' homes, then I sent a follow up e-mail after the last RSVP date. Like I said, it's not that big of a deal, I'll just have extra food/goody bags for the no-replies just in case. This is DC's first birthday party with school friends so I just wanted to get an idea of what to expect

[Anonymous]

They are most likely out.

No reply is a HUGE pet peeve of mine---esp now that my older one usually picks places with a 'kid/minimum..pay per head' which you need to know a few days in advance. The little one still does it at the house so it isn't as big a deal. But- wth is with common courtesy these days?

FWIW, it is even harder to get a response when it isn't by email/evite. Then, they have to type in an email address or pick up the phone and call. You think with email they'd just immediately click 'no'.

We also had 5 people pull a 'no-show' after replying that they were coming at DH's 40th bday party recently which was a real pisser since it was $45/head.

[Anonymous]

I invited about 12 people to a party/playdate at my house, and not one single person said they were coming. Oh except a girl I worked with who not only said she was coming but that her son had hand, foot and mouth disease that week, but he was better now. So then I cancelled the party, and then 2 people showed up. And my house was a mess. So you just never know.