Questions About Second Child Practicalities

[Anonymous]

I've got a 3 month old DD and DH and I have been talking about having another very soon. I know people have posted a lot about the benefits of having a second child, but I'd like to know more about the practical aspects of it. That is, what's it like physically raising to small children? Do you entertain one while feeding the other? Do you need a larger car because now no one else can fit besides you, your DH, and your 2 kids? How long does it take to get out in the morning, with and without the kids? What's it like overnight? I'm sure there are lots of other practicalities, and would love to hear about them, no matter how minute.

In other words, what's a day in the life like for either a SAHM or a WAHM with 2 very young kids?

[Anonymous]

It's crazy. The first 3 months are the hardest. The 1-year old runs around crazy pulling things off the shelf while you nurse the baby. You can't leave them alone together for even a second in case the baby gets hurt. As they get a bit older, they play together and love each other, then hit, pull, and bite each other. They don't entertain each other nicely until the younger one is about 2. You can't possibly give both of them all of your attention all of the time, which is what they want.

You buy a new car when the 3rd arrives, and sometimes you can even fit 3 carseats across a regular backseat, so maybe not even then. Your friends just have to take their own car.

It takes longer to get out in the morning, but because it's routine driven the kids learn quickly what to expect so it's not a difficult part of the day (like the dreaded 5-7pm hours).

At night? I guess you just have to be sure #1 is sleeping through the night before #2 arrives.

When the youngest is about 2 or 3 it suddenly gets easier.

In the end, it's all worth it. Somehow by doubling the number of kids and quadrupling the work for a little while you triple the fun and love and joy.

[Anonymous]

We have a just turned 1 year old and 3 year old and it is getting slightly easier now that the baby is 1. The kids (both boys) are starting to play together, and I actually can leave them for a couple of minutes to run upstairs to get a bottle, etc. The baby is also quite entertained by his older brother. But the first year of having a second was HARD. especially the first 8 months which was how long it took baby #2 to sleep through the night. The exhaustion factor was huge and my DH and I had a hard time. Because often times there is no break. Yes, the baby sleeps, but my older son no longer naps, so from 6:15 am (baby up) - 8:30 pm (older son to sleep), it is often non-stop. Fortunately, my 3 year old is getting more independent and is able to play on his own for awhile, but there is still not a lot of downtime during the day. With 1, that is a lot easier. We did not change cars with two (I have a sedan and DH has an SUV), and that has been OK. It is a challenge to get both out of the house sometimes, and we still forget to bring things sometimes. Now that the baby is drinking milk and eating regular food, it is a lot easier. We have been very lucky in that our older son never showed any resentment toward his baby brother and I know that is not always the case. When the baby was really little, my older son sometimes wanted me to hold him while I was feeding the baby, but it never got that bad. It really depends on the kid. And with the second baby, you are a lot more relaxed as far as baby things go - you don't panic over every little thing. If baby doesn't want to eat, you realize he will just eat later and will not starve. So, in that respect it is a little easier. For me, I would say the first year is hard and now it is gradually getting easier. I figure by the time my younger son is 3 it will be a lot easier. But the relationship they are developing is priceless and I would not change that for anything.