Problems with elementary school

[Anonymous]

What would you do if the situations below were happening to your first grader?

1. My child's teacher was switched the second day of school, yet no one notified me until I finally called the office on Friday to find out what was going on and why he was bringing a different teacher's folder home. This really bothered me because it was a safety concern had there been an emergency and I had to pick him up from school. I wouldn't have even known which class he was in.

2. On Thursday of the first week of school, my child asked the gym teacher if he could go to the bathroom. The gym teacher told him no, so my child had an accident and came home with wet clothes. I called the school and spoke with the gym teacher who told me he didn't know it was an emergency. I told him if my child has to go to the bathroom, he should be allowed to go to the bathroom and not have to say it's an emergency. Also, I asked him why he was sent back to class with wet clothes and he said it was the end of the school day. His afternoon teacher told me she knew of the accident as well, but instead of letting him change his clothes sent him home.

3. This past week, when my child had media special he told me the Library Aide threw his socks in the trash because he had taken them off and was throwing them in the air.

4. Also this past week, my child told me that his math teacher, who is a long-term substitute in place while the regular teacher is on maternity leave, had pulled his ear hard. I don't do that to my own child, and a teacher should definitely not be putting their hands on my child like that! I have worked in the school system in many aspects, one being a long-term subsitute teacher, and putting your hands on a student in a hurtful way is not tolerated.

I spoke with the assistant principal last week and she just seemed to blow off my concerns. I am meeting with the principal and his morning teacher on Monday and have already requested a change of math teacher effective immediately. This school has issues and I'm not sure how effective the meeting will even be.

[Anonymous]

That's quite a list of concerns for this early in the year. I hope your meeting with the principal is productive..

[Anonymous]

All of this is unacceptable. I am so sorry, OP. Set up a meeting with the principal. If you are not satisfied, contact the comunity superintendent.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the incident with the math teacher, if it is true (no, I'm not calling your child a liar), is unacceptable, and it does not make sense that the school didn't inform you of the teacher change until days after the fact. However, the bathroom accident, though unfortunate, was just handled poorly after it happened. It is very common that specials teachers do not allow students to use the bathroom as they only see kids once per week. When I was teaching first grade, students had specific times they were allowed to leave my room to go to the bathroom unless it was an emergency or they had a medical reason to need to go so frequently.

Also, as far as the media aide, I kind of don't blame her. Your son had no business during the media center, which is a structred time, removing his socks and throwing them in the air. He may be six, but there are rules at school.

[Anonymous]

These issues (so many so soon in the year!) were not handled well. I agree with the pp who suggested going to the community superintendent if the meeting with the principal isn't productive.

Communication with parents is something that every school could and should do better. You should know if you child's teacher is changed; you should be informed if your child has a bathroom accident at school...and on and on. These should be simple fixes for the school. That said, if they continue to make judgement mistakes (and lay hands on your child), no amount of communication will make that better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the incident with the math teacher, if it is true (no, I'm not calling your child a liar), is unacceptable, and it does not make sense that the school didn't inform you of the teacher change until days after the fact. However, the bathroom accident, though unfortunate, was just handled poorly after it happened. It is very common that specials teachers do not allow students to use the bathroom as they only see kids once per week. When I was teaching first grade, students had specific times they were allowed to leave my room to go to the bathroom unless it was an emergency or they had a medical reason to need to go so frequently.

Also, as far as the media aide, I kind of don't blame her. Your son had no business during the media center, which is a structred time, removing his socks and throwing them in the air. He may be six, but there are rules at school.

First of all, saying if the incident is true, is calling my son liar. My son is not one to make up stories. Second of all, outside of preschool, my children have never had teachers that had scheduled bathroom breaks. The children were allowed to go to the bathroom after raising their hand and asking to go. Not all children have to go to the bathroom at the same time of day.

To say that it is okay for any kind of staff member to throw away a child's personal property is ridiculous. If you believe that, you shouldn't be a teacher. The appropriate thing to do would have been to take his socks and make him put them back on. Yes, my child is ONLY 6 and when he gets bored he fidgits. We did talk about how removing socks was not appropriate and he needs to follow school rules. He is obviously not the only one who is still figuring out all the school rules in the first month of school. Since you claim you were a teacher, you should know it takes at least a month for the students to get acclimated to a new year of school, new classroom and new classmates. However, staff and teachers have known the rules for many years and should not have handled the situations the way they were handled.

[Anonymous]

I would say that taking off socks in class is more than fidgeting -- it's pretty inappropriate behavior, even for a six year old.

Are there behavior concerns overall?

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to see things from all angles. Throwing away a child's clothes is never ok...though behavior correction is clearly justified. Clothes change at the end of the day..would he have missed the bus if he changed? My child has gym literally at the last minute of the day is already packed up to go.. Agree with PP that special teachers have a hard time with kids needing to go..but also hard for a small child to know he should tell the teacher if s/he is about to have an accident. New teacher and ear pull..really are concerns. Hopefully you will get some info like a letter went home about the new teacher but the copy did not make it to you?

[Anonymous]

On everything on that list, all of which if a problem, a teacher putting their hands on a child is my biggest concern. My understanding is that a teacher should never use physical discipline and this, for me, would warrant a call, right away, to the community superintendent. I would want that teacher investigated.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP - the teacher putting hands on any child is an urgent issue that needs to go up the ladder.

[Anonymous]

Any first grader who takes his socks off in the library and throws them in the air is a behavior problem who is disrupting the learning of his peers and making it difficult for the teacher / media specialist to teach. OP, you don't seem to understand that this behavior is really uncommon. I used to teach first grade and no student ever did that. Your child is high maintenance and I am sure your kid was transferred classes to a more experienced teacher or his first teacher had too many students and in order to balance classes got to pick one to send to another class. It was always the parents of the biggest behavior problems who claimed their kid never lied. The only first graders who never lied were students who were on the autism spectrum. Kids lie for lots of reasons including to not hurt someone's feelings which isn't a bad thing, to be creative, or to gain an advantage.

Perhaps the sub really did pull his ears. Obviously it isn't acceptable. You should have a conversation with your son that if you behave more people will believe and if you don't you won't have as much credibility.

[Anonymous]

Here's the issue I see.

OP's son seems to be having some issues with self control and behavior at school. This may be typical first grader stuff but there are some red flags.

Either way, the school should have been in touch ASAP about these issues.

ITA with PP that says it may or may not be true that the sub grabbed his ear. OP needs to speak with the principal right away but I would give the sub the benefit of the doubt given all the other info.

[Anonymous]

You realize that the teacher probably "threw away" the sck into a small waste paper basket where they were easily retrieved. And you also realize, I hope, tha the teacher no doubt warned him first.

[Anonymous]

I think we have a "special snowflake" Op here. You know her son can
Do no wrong...etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the issue I see.

OP's son seems to be having some issues with self control and behavior at school. This may be typical first grader stuff but there are some red flags.

Either way, the school should have been in touch ASAP about these issues.

ITA with PP that says it may or may not be true that the sub grabbed his ear. OP needs to speak with the principal right away but I would give the sub the benefit of the doubt given all the other info.

First of all, there were four issues presented and only one had anything at all to do with the child's behavior. One incident does not warrant it okay for the school not to deal with the problems the staff have. This student is a child and is still learning. The staff, on the other hand, should know how to behave appropriately.