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Wedding gift dilemma
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Anonymous
| My DH's "best friend" got married in August. I put best friend in quotations because we only heard from him a few times since he got engaged two years ago. Once to ask my DH to be his best man and then while DH was planning his bachelor party. Any calls my husband made were not returned, and DH almost decided to skip the wedding. Things got into full swing a couple of months before the wedding, and we offered our help. Never were we taken up on our offers. My husband made it to the tux fittings and such that the bride to be texted him about, and we reserved the hotel room she wanted for the three days required. The wedding was held 300 miles from our home, so a lot of expense went into just being there. When we added up all our expenses, including the bachelor party, new clothes, food, gas, sitters, we were looking at over $3,000.00. His bride ignored us at the rehearsal dinner, and the groom avoided DH. I was so confused, I wondered why on earth my DH was asked to be best man. It was very hurtful. I decided that I would return the gift I had purchased and instead give them a card. The gift was $500 and was off of her registry. Now, a month later, we received a thank you card from them. They thanked us for a gift we did not give them. It is a nice gift, I can only imagine my card wound up on someone else's gift. This type of crap only happens to me. I was trying to make a point and instead, I have to explain the mistake. I don't know what to do, just shut up and let them think it was us, or tell them and suffer the consequences. |
Anonymous
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Let it go.
Anything you say at this point is going to be incendiary. Chances are you will never hear from them again -- until the birth announcement! 
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Anonymous
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I would definitely say something.
Not fair to the person who gave a real gift and you will not make your point. I'd email them saying that you got the TY note but you were not the one who gifted them X. They should look further to find out who did because the person might get hurt if not acknowledged. |
Anonymous
| I would just let it lie. They are probably dazed and confused by everything and obviously disorganized. Pointing out the error would embarrass everyone and as for the error towards the other party that bought the gift it is on them, not you. |
Anonymous
I agree with this, I think you need to mention it. |
Anonymous
| I would mention it. Probably in a note. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I agree. I also think after sending this note (which I think your DH should send), you should just cross them off your friend list. Send them a yearly Christmas card but no more. |
Anonymous
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At least you got credit for the nice gift instead of just your card, which it sounds like these ungrateful people would have been offended by.
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Anonymous
| Just let it go. The registry tracks who bought what but may not track returns. They probably think they lost the item. |
Anonymous
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You need to say something. The suggestion to do it via note is good - it takes all the awkwardness of a face-to-face or phone call away. If it is so awkward already between you two couples, you hardly need to worry about seeing them again, let them initiate the next get together. (you'll know all is forgiven.)
Here is your bonus reason for coming clean: Think of the satisfaction you will get tossing this hot potato back into their lap. Now instead of you being the one with the dilemma, it will be them, knowing they have mixed up gifts with recipients and they will be on this site asking for advice regarding how to track down the proper gift giver and what to say to them. |
Anonymous
| I think they're playing a deep game and trying to either out you as not having given a gift and/or shame you into sending a late gift. I agree with the PPs that you should at least let them know that someone else gave the gift they thanked you for. |
Anonymous
| Eg, I'd let your husband deal. His "friend." |