3.5 year old DS just diagnosed with Aspergers

[Anonymous]

I don't want to go into all of the background, needless to say, this is his diagnosis. .

This is all very new and I'm not sure what to think. In some ways, I think - this is no big deal, in that he is no different today than he was yesterday. He is very verbal and loving and affectionate and that won't change. But, as he gets older, he is getting more and more anxiety and has trouble joining the group in social situations.

Are there any moms further down the line that can offer words of support? With the proper therapy, can I still hope for him to have a normal childhood? Friends? Independence?

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

I have a 12 year old with AS who has friends and is happy. "Normal?" Not sure what that is, but he doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

I would get him involved in a social skills group. I would also try to arrange playdates with nt kids so that you can help him reinforce appropriate social skills. As kids get older, they are not as accepting of "different" behavior. If your son can work on these social skills, he may have an easier time.

[Anonymous]

I'd second a social skills group. We did play therapy as well. And playdates. Still, the local school setting was still very hard on DS and worsened by year. He is now 9 and in a more appropriate environment. We have great days, good days and less so. I wish I could tell you it's been easy, but challenging is probably a more accurate description. We have friends, I know that DS is happy and loved -- and we are doing our best.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you. It's so hard to digest it all. I'd also find a therapist, for you, who is familiar with AS who can help answer your questions and ease your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I think your son is very young to get an accurate Asperger's diagnosis. A Fairfax Co. Public Schools psychologist told me that my son most likely has Asperger's, based on testing when he was 4. Now, at 6 1/2, I really think he has ADHD rather than Asperger's. I think his ADHD is severe, which impacts him socially, but I think his interests are broader and less restricted than with Asperger's.
I would have your son re-evaluated as he gets older. I think you'll see that he will change a lot in the next few years. Sometimes our "quirky" preschoolers are given an autism spectrum label to help them get intensive services at an early age. True Asperger's is still very rare and ADHD is much more common.

[Anonymous]

To the PP (19:55) - what were your son's symptoms at that age? I really didn't want to go here, as I keep questioning whether I'm in denial or not, but the diagnosis doesn't make the most sense to me. My son has excellent social skills with his peers, with us, when in an intimate environment (smaller scale playdates, places he's familiar with, etc.). He has excellent eye contact and verbal skills. He makes jokes. He is extremely affectionate. He is a happy kid. His main symptom is when he gets into big groups or crowds he gets completely overwhelmed. It almost seems sensory to me - he's petrified of loud noises, which is a large part of what drives his anxiety. He also flaps his hands when he has anxiety or is very excited.
I don't know. I guess in some ways a diagnosis isn't the important part. All I want is for my son to be happy. He doesn't have to be normal. Just happy. Any advice on next steps would be so appreciated. I feel a bit lost, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP (19:55) - what were your son's symptoms at that age? I really didn't want to go here, as I keep questioning whether I'm in denial or not, but the diagnosis doesn't make the most sense to me. My son has excellent social skills with his peers, with us, when in an intimate environment (smaller scale playdates, places he's familiar with, etc.). He has excellent eye contact and verbal skills. He makes jokes. He is extremely affectionate. He is a happy kid. His main symptom is when he gets into big groups or crowds he gets completely overwhelmed. It almost seems sensory to me - he's petrified of loud noises, which is a large part of what drives his anxiety. He also flaps his hands when he has anxiety or is very excited.
I don't know. I guess in some ways a diagnosis isn't the important part. All I want is for my son to be happy. He doesn't have to be normal. Just happy. Any advice on next steps would be so appreciated. I feel a bit lost, to be honest.

Have you done any OT?

My child was similar and turned out to have a metabolic problem/mild mito issue. It was literally a processing issue, when there was too much going on and her energy was lower her brain couldn't keep up. She also seemed very anxious. The ped ran a carnitine profile which picked up some abnormalities. Now she takes a vitamin cocktail and is doing really well. I think that mito and metabolic issues are often in play when a kid gets a diagnosis but some of the key symptoms are that opposite or what you would expect, for example a socially appropriate kid with a spectrum diagnosis. He is a bit too young I think but he may have some sort of auditory processing issue. You should check with Kennedy Krieger, my DC was tested on the younger side, I think at 5. In her case, her processing issues would vary by the day, at Stixrud her processing speed was much quicker and it turned out that they were feeding her hard candy so her energy level was higher. Do a bit of reading and see if an energy lens might be useful. For us, DC would melt down at a sibs music class, one day she had a lollipop and happily participated. When her glucose was higher her brain could work faster.

Do people who see him in the smaller settings notice anything different? Who did the eval?

Does he have any tone issues? Very sensitive to very hot or cold temps? Does he have thin or very dry hair or skin? You might want to pick up Kelly Dorfman's book or do a consult with her and see if anything jumps out. My kids all have issues with metabolizing fat, one used to toe walk and stopped when she was put on digestive enzymes. Kelly was really helpful in our case, life changing. The doctors have been thrilled with the change in their health and in their functioning.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 19:55 and with the PP that you should get your DC reevaluated and consider other possible diagnoses. Most kids don't get a Asperger's diagnosis until closer to 5 at the youngest. Also, you didn't mention key symptoms of Asperger's such as restricted interests and problems with transitions and rigidity. My DS at 3.5 exhibited these symptoms as well as problems relating to peers, stimming and sensory issues. My DS was also had a large vocabulary but didn't talk socially just about his interests. No empathy for other children but did and still affectionate to me.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 19:55 and with the PP that you should get your DC reevaluated and consider other possible diagnoses. Most kids don't get a Asperger's diagnosis until closer to 5 at the youngest. Also, you didn't mention key symptoms of Asperger's such as restricted interests and problems with transitions and rigidity. My DS at 3.5 exhibited these symptoms as well as problems relating to peers, stimming and sensory issues. My DS was also had a large vocabulary but didn't talk socially just about his interests. No empathy for other children but did and still affectionate to me.

[Anonymous]

19:55 here. At 2 1/2, my son appeared classically autistic - hand flapping, aimless pacing, poor eye contact, few words, tantrums, rigidity. We got him into a Preschool Autism Class in Fairfax County, where he made a lot of progress. After staying in PAC a year or so, he moved to a non-cat class with kids that had a variety of issues - but generally milder than in PAC.
At 4, he was tested again by the school psychologist. He tested as very bright and verbal, but showed rigidity and narrow interests, poor social reciprocity, etc. At 6 1/2, I think he may need testing again. He did well in public Kindergarten, in a regular class but with some pull-out services. He shows broader interests and doesn't get as "stuck" on a topic like he used to. He shows signs of hyperactivity, though and has trouble paying attention in a conversation. He has poor impulse control and has trouble respecting personal space. He really has trouble turning his brain off at night to go to sleep and wakes early. I think he is academically gifted but his ADHD-ish symptoms cause him trouble in school. I think we're going to start meds soon to see if it helps. I know that he's a very smart, capable, affectionate kid who's having trouble controlling himself.

[Anonymous]

A few questions for 22:06... I found your post very interesting and helpful.

Did your regular ped run the test for carnitine? Or did you have to go to a specialist? What made your ped decide to run that test?

Who do you see to monitor the vitamins your children are taking? Does your regular ped do this, or again, is this done by a specialist?

Does Kelly Dorfman work in tandem with your ped/specialist? Or does she do her own thing without consulting the docs?

Thanks!