Hugs and Kisses --

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old boy is very friendly and affectionate, espcially to his family and friends. This morning my son said, "mommy, my teacher told me that I cannot hug and kiss my friends". At that moment, I felt like I was getting hit in my head. This is all me! I always encouraged him to be affectionate and give hugs and kisses to those that you love including our dogs. I did not realize that this was not an acceptable behavior for kids at that age. Can anyone comment?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it's a good time to start teaching personal boundaries and asking permission. I would definitely not want to squash my kid's affection, but I would encourage him to make sure it's okay to give a hug or a kiss before doing so.

Mind, I am the parent of one toddler so I haven't gotten there, so we'll see.

[Anonymous]

I dont think its unnacceptable behavior for kids that age in general, but its a matter of time and place. I would continue to engcourage hugs and kisses at home, but not at school.

[Anonymous]

Is it that hugging and kissing is not allowed at all, or is your son hugging and kissing to the point that it's disruptive and is bothering other kids?

Kissing I can understand (spreads germs). Hugs should be ok, but some kids hug too much and other kids are not appreciative of it. If that's the case, the teacher may have told your son that that was enough hugs and your son gave you his own interpretation.

[Anonymous]

I noticed on a several occation that my son's teacher showed some uncomfortable expressions when my son was saying goodbye to her and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. Of course, he does not give out hugs and kisses to everyone, but to those whom he feels connected to, he is affectionate. Never knew that some of his behaviors are interpreted differently. I talked to several coworkers today about this, and found out majority of parents don't even kiss their children on the lips. Really??? Are we really that germophobic???

[Anonymous]

We get kisses from our daughter constantly and straight on the lips. She does it very enthusiastically and giggles afterwards. She is 18 mo. She also wants to kiss everyone whenever she sees DH and I kissing. I wont be changing this joy of hers and ours for anything.
She will be starting this coming year in preschool with other 18mo-2 year olds. I know the preschool really well because my son went there. I think the only problem they would ever have with hugging and kissing is if the recipient was not happy and didnt want it. Yes, kissing spreads germs but seriously, there are germs everywhere in school. Everywhere.

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher of young kids. Not just germs, but boundaries. However, my students sit on my lap, hug me, etc. Every teacher is different. Also, some kids do not know better, and hug too harf, and the other child does not like it.

[Anonymous]

*hard*

[Anonymous]

My kid is very affectionate with me & DH, family members, our friends, but she kind of freaks out when super-friendly kids try to hug her.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately teachers fear that children's affectionate hugs of the teacher may be misconstrued by the child 's parents, other parents or other children. Many teachers therefore discourage hugs, physical displays of affection, and are encouraged to do so. I think it is too bad, but it is a reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately teachers fear that children's affectionate hugs of the teacher may be misconstrued by the child 's parents, other parents or other children. Many teachers therefore discourage hugs, physical displays of affection, and are encouraged to do so. I think it is too bad, but it is a reality.

I'm a teacher. I've hugged my students and they've hugged me. They've hugged each other. Some schools have a rule that only sideways hugs are allowed because of the reasons you stated, but I don't know of schools or teachers that have discouraged or banned it altogether.