No sports/exercise so no tv/video games

[Anonymous]

Not really upset anymore but just disappointed. Left early from activity today after much complaining to even get there and then whining,crying, while we were there. Two boys and they simply do not like sports, 9&12. The oldest has tried 15 activities ( not exaggerating since I wrote them all down tonight.) Everything is hard and he won't try again. We've ALWAYS made them finish whatever they started but this is three times a week and then really some self practice on the off days. I don,t have it in me to nag, cajole, bribe anymore. I think at this age (and what they have been exposed to) they should be able to show interest in something. Am curious if anyone has experienced this or if I am wrong. I only listed sports but they have had music (and one is now in his 5th year with that so I am happy that that stuck but that is the only thing), chess, art lessons, drama. Also both do scouts and say they love it but really it is their dad since he is involved and oversees they move up but left to their own I wonder how much they would work on the requirements. So, it is music for one 30 min A week and scouts for both three times a month for both. Not much - what do they do? Most other kids around us are doing things. I took away the tv / video for the length of time they would have been in this latest activity. Not really trying to be punitive but just saying "that's fine if you don't want to do activities but you are not just going to sit around every day asking to play videos or watching tv. ". This is so hard for me as I was very active and loved it! I still do things and I run races to show them that you need to be healthy and active. I am hoping that if I just give in for a year maybe they will come to me at some point and say they are interested in something/anything! Anyone have this experience???

[Anonymous]

I am sympathetic. If left to their own devices, my kids would sit in front of a screen of some sort for 18 hours a day.
We don't allow TV or computer time during the week at all, except for homework needs. If they don't have activities planned either themselves or by me on the weekends, it's a screen fest for them. I don't like it, but at least during the week, they end up doing something other than sitting around.

[Anonymous]

My son is 9, and he is unathletic, so he does no team sports. He hates them, etc.

I think the short answer to your question is "reading." True, you can still develop heart disease and a gut by doing no exercise, so I'm not saying it's a silver bullet at all.

However, sitting down day after day with a novel is light years better for the prefrontal cortex development than sitting down day after day with video games. The MRI evidence is in.

So make them read. And look around for some more studio art classes?

[Anonymous]

Same experience in many ways. For a while, we had the kids "earn" computer time. If you do your workout, you can play. For one, the one who is not a natural athlete, this and school sports seems to have gotten him to understand the importance of fitness. But that is not your question ... I am not trying to ignore your disappointment, for I have felt it too. But I'd go with the "if you don't do your job - getting some exercise, without whining you don't get your privileges."

Don't want to make it seem like I've got it all figured out, though. Older son, who in the last two years has stopped all sports, just went to college. Spends all his free time in front of a screen as far as I can tell. Very disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Only one of my three kids (grade school - middle school) likes team sports. They will play outside with each other or the dog, but they looove all things screen.

If they want Wii, they can play Active Life Explorer. Everything else is for weekends only.

[Anonymous]

My older son (13) is not athletic and not interested in team sports, so our mantra has always been, "activity." Our kids have to be involved in some kind of move-based activity at any given time.

For him, this means biking, riding his scooter, hiking, walking the dog. He also likes swimming and hitting a tennis ball against the backboard at the park down the street.

At your kids' ages, they could start a pet-care business in the neighborhood - there are LOTS of people who need after-school-time dog-walking services.

We ban all screen-time (TV, Wii, DS, computer games) from Sunday evening through Thursday evening in our house - so video games are not on the radar screen (so to speak) during the week.

I hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

Do your kids do any homework involving the computer/internet, and if so how do you monitor it?

[Anonymous]

not trying to be an a-hole but OP do you mind listing all 15 activities your son tried? i'm curious of what else's out there. tks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do your kids do any homework involving the computer/internet, and if so how do you monitor it?

09:47 here - yes, they do. For that, they use the laptop, which is in the dining room near where we are located during homework time. They get on, do what they need to do, and get off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not trying to be an a-hole but OP do you mind listing all 15 activities your son tried? i'm curious of what else's out there. tks.

Sure, I don't mind but it is a bit embarrassing. I will say that he asked for just about every one of these:
T - ball
Baseball
Ice skating
Soccer
Fencing
Dive
Archery
Running
Tennis
Basketball
Swimming
Gymnastics
Piano
Trumpet
Baritone
Chess
Video game design class
Karate

For the other poster, yes,he will need computer for homework but it is right off the kitchen so I can see/ hear it. I'm just curious to see
How the next two months go without electronics. They are good kids; I just wanted them to find some passion around something. they do like to cook with me so there is that and I should say my oldest is ADHD so there is the maturation and self-esteem issue. I know all
The theory , read the books, talked to experts. He will mature and find a niche.

Thanks for all the posts. It helps to not feel like you have the only two in the neighborhood/world who does not want to do anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have described my 9-year-old DS. He has tried soccer, little league, and basketball. The whole team thing is just not for him. He won't even try to participate and it kills me to see him daydreaming in the outfield. He has decent athletic skills, but seems to turn into a noodle when it matters.

He does do scouts and likes it, but is still more just following along with all of it. He's not one to get out his handbook and actively pursue his badges or belt loops or whatever. I'm the one that takes the lead on it.

We asked him recently what sort of "activity" he wanted to do. We suggested ice skating (ultimately hockey), flag football, Odyssey of the Mind, etc. Heck, I'd even be happy with the Harry Potter club at school (he's read them all a million times). No interest.

He did say he would like to do Tae Kwon Do. Hurray! So we signed up for a trial class and it was just awful. He was so overwhelmed by everything around him and all the shouting that he pretty much broke down during the class. In hindsight, maybe some private lessons would have eased him into it more, but I had no idea. He's completely shut off to the idea of trying it again.

So, we're back to trying new things. Fortunately, he does love to read and is still very much into Legos. But I do have to work to keep him off of the Wii/Nintendo/Computer. If he had it his way, he'd stare at a screen for 18 hours a day.

I wish I had some advice for you. It is nice to see that others have similar challenges. For me, I just want to make sure he has some interests that will take him through the teen years and adulthood and I'm not sure video games are the key to a well-rounded upbringing.

[Anonymous]

how about skate boarding or roller skating? too young for those?

bowling or golf? not real sporty but definitely (fun) activities for boys...

[Anonymous]

I think there is a lot of value in private lessons.

Kids' sports get so competitive, so early, that if you are starting when they are over 8 years old, they quickly feel like they aren't any good.

Some kids thrive on that kind of challeneg but others just shut down.

Some kids really need to be shut off from all screen time or else they will never get bored enough to be willing to find interest in real life experiences.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to get to the root of them saying "it's hard." Everything is hard in the sense there's a learning curve. It sounds like it's more attitude than skill that is holding them back. Luckily that 's easier to change in that as they mature they may develop more incentive.

Would they be interested in some kind of dance? Hip hop, tap and Irish have appeal to some boys and are more athletic than folks think.

Do they ride bikes? Make bike riding a family thing. It's especially good if you have a destination because there's a point to the riding and not just rolling along which might be a turn off to a reluctant kid.

[Anonymous]

My son was the same way. Ended up being an awesome kid and is now very happy and doing well in college. Still hates physical activity but walks everywhere so is getting fresh air and exercise.

When he was a child, at least once a week, we would go to a wooded park area and just walk quickly. It was a great bonding time and we'd count the different colors of green or name animals we saw or just be quiet.

If you find different hidden parks with paths or interesting sites, it shouldn't be boring for the boys. Or they can even take a friend and it only takes 30 minutes out of their afternoon. It's not perfect but it's SOMETHING!

We would go to:
Roosevelt Island
Great Falls
Riverbend Park
Pimmit Run
Potomac Overlook
Rock Creek
GW Parkway past Old Town Alexandria
Google your area and many hidden parks will pop up

Good Luck!