2 year old seperation anxiety

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old twins have stayed home with our nanny since they were 3.5 months old. We want to get them used to being cared for by someone other than us, the nanny, or our friend so we've been taking them to the gym childcare. They hate it. It is a very nice facility (Lifetime), we go on off hours when there is a good child:staff ratio, the staff is very nice and attentive to them and yet as soon as we pull into the parking lot, we hear "no. no. no. no." from the backseat. And walking in there? Oh, my. You would have thought we were killing them. It is so pitiful. We do leave and more often than not, they have to call us after 10 minutes to come get them because they haven't calmed down. And the few times they have lasted an hour, they just burst into tears as soon as they see us.

Do we keep working on this? Just 'forcing' them to go for small amounts of time to show that we do come back (we never leave them there for more than an hour)? Have your kids gone through this and did they grow out of it?

[Anonymous]

Why the need to do this? It sounds very clearly (and heartbreakingly) like they aren't ready and that it's really hard on them. You already have 4 people they are fine with. They don't need to be fine with the rest of the world just yet. Cut them a break. They're 2.

[Anonymous]

In my daycare, it's been my experience that the new toddlers in the 2's, cry for about 2-3 weeks and then they're ok. Also, if there's a break in the routine and we go on vacation for 1-2 weeks, my dd also cried, though that wasn't her habit prior to the vacation.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies. We are doing it so we can work out and get hair cuts (there is a salon there.) We're both working parents, so time is precious, and it is hard to get everything in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies. We are doing it so we can work out and get hair cuts (there is a salon there.) We're both working parents, so time is precious, and it is hard to get everything in.

We're working parents too, and squeeze haircuts in during lunch breaks at work, don't work out together and/or after kids are in bed or before they get up, etc. to maximize our time with the kids. Some stuff just has to give.

[Anonymous]

some of us have jobs where we can't leave our work place during the day - no bank runs, no dry cleaning runs, no haircuts, no medical appointments. All of those things have to be done on off hours.

My kids get up at 5:45 and DH has to leave at 5:30 for his 60 minute commute. Blah blah blah. No need to bore you with the details of my life. I guess we are all busy and looking to survive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of us have jobs where we can't leave our work place during the day - no bank runs, no dry cleaning runs, no haircuts, no medical appointments. All of those things have to be done on off hours.

My kids get up at 5:45 and DH has to leave at 5:30 for his 60 minute commute. Blah blah blah. No need to bore you with the details of my life. I guess we are all busy and looking to survive.

I totally get this, but was just saying there might be preferable alternatives to leaving your toddlers to wail and scream and cry at a gym daycare. What about weekends? Can you alternate haircuts and working out then? Can your nanny start a little early or stay a little late every once in a while? Can you workout via power walks with your kids in a double stroller? That kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Hello, I think that possibly your children might get used to childcare but using a gym childcare as the barometer is probably not the way to go. I don't think the same expectations to work in that setting are the same as a regular preschool. It might be more like the staff is babysitting, whereas in a normal daycare they have the experience to and credentials to better work with your little ones. I don't want to take away from the gym childcare because I do think it can serve it's purpose for older children who can independantly just play with the toys. But maybe in the fall try transitioning them into a preschool environment. GOod luck. THe great zucchini

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're going to have to wait on this one. Some kids who have been in a one on one (or 2) situation aren't ready for a chaotic group setting right at 2. It's still a big separation anxiety time and, keep in mind, while they are used to other people they are usually staying with other people at home, not in a strange environment. That makes a HUGE difference for our kids. They're okay with others watching them on their homebase, but take them elsewhere and they couldn't hack it at that age. I'd wait a few months and then maybe try again. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

What if for the next couple times that you went you were to go in and play with them and not use the gym. Is that possible? Then once they are more comfortable with the people working there and the facility itself you could start to leave them.

[Anonymous]

You could always trade off on gym time and haircuts with your husband (in other words, don't go together). It's not as fun, but I think that's what most of us do.

[Anonymous]

thanks everyone. We took them tonight and there were NO TEARS! All the way down the hall they said no, but once there they were fine. When we went and got them, they were playing with the toys and there wasn't a big scene when we went to pick them up! Yea! It is a start!