Anxious 9 year old

[Anonymous]

My 9 yo DD is very anxious. She's afraid to go to sleep at night. She cries unless DH or I stays upstairs until she falls asleep. Is this "normal' 9 yo behavior? If not, any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is normal. I have a 9 yo daughter. She does her shower and teeth. I help her comb out her hair still. She gets her pajamas on and then she gets in bed and I read to her or my husband does if I am not home. She has music that we put on each night before we start reading. After we read, it is lights out, a few minutes of snuggling and talking and then she goes to sleep on her own. She would prefer that one of us stay until she falls asleep, but there is no crying when we kiss her good night and leave. Is this a new behavior? If it is brand spanking new, I would be very concerned. If she has always been needy going to sleep then it may be a normal progression of that. However, if it is an out of the blue new behavior, my first stop would be my pediatrician alone for a talk.

[Anonymous]

It is a new behavior. It started right around the time she told me that she is concerned about growing up. She doesn't want to grow up.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I kind of hoped it was a phase and was wondering if other kids went through this phase.

[Anonymous]

My daughter experienced a period of intense anxiety at age 9 following a difficult medical situation (resolved). A short course of cognitive behavioral therapy with a good therapist who specializes in treating kids did the trick. We used Alvord Baker in Silver Spring -- I think she had six sessions, so the cost wasn't overwhelming, and CBT is very effective with kids.

[Anonymous]

My son went through the same thing from about 8 to 9 years old. Bed time was horrible. It started one day after a friend showed him a pop up on the computer of Linda Blair in full Exorcist make up and that was it. He was terrified in his room and begged to sleep with us everynight. However, he had a history of anxiety, especially separation anxiety. We finally resolved it and now he goes to sleep in his room, lights off with no problems. He is now 10. Some of the things I did to help him through it was to talk about reasons why he was afraid at night, reassure him that we were safe in our home and that I was just right next door. I also talked up the "coziness" of his room quite a bit. During the day I would say things like, it'll be so nice to cozy up in your bed tonight and thing like that. I bought him a cozy blanket, left the ceiling light fan on all night (dimmed) and reassured him that I would check on him before I went to bed. Basically, it took about a year before he was okay with going to bed.

[Anonymous]

My 10 yr old is doing this...she just moved into her own room (used to share with sister)....am hoping it is a short phase....

[Anonymous]

We went to Alvord Baker for CBT therapy, but also did very well with these CDs:

http://www.myanxiouschild.com/

I was a bit skeptical but DC really enjoyed listening to the CDs and loves the "chill kit" relaxation CD. It was about as much as a therapy session and worked great!