Inheritance

[Anonymous]

Do you plan to split it evenly?
How do you handle step children?
Second spouse?
Friend of mine lost her father recently. He gave one child most of the money and left one out completely. He apparently thought that he had spent enough on that one as an adult (drug addiction clinics).

[Anonymous]

Evenly. My spouse (first and only) have an estate plan that includes trusts to protect our kids' inheritance in the event of death followed by remarriage. I'll be goddamned if some 2nd wife is going to spend her way through what I've worked for and leave my kids out in the cold.

Dividing things up unequally is almost never worth the drama it causes, unless you have one child who is severely disabled, and even then you have to be careful that you don't screw up any benefits they need by leaving them too much money. Even if one kid is well off and another isn't--fortunes do change. The well off kid could go through a layoff or become disabled, the not well-off kid could marry rich late in life. If one kid is getting a lot of gifts during life (for rehab or whatever), even it up while you are alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Evenly. My spouse (first and only) have an estate plan that includes trusts to protect our kids' inheritance in the event of death followed by remarriage. I'll be goddamned if some 2nd wife is going to spend her way through what I've worked for and leave my kids out in the cold.

Dividing things up unequally is almost never worth the drama it causes, unless you have one child who is severely disabled, and even then you have to be careful that you don't screw up any benefits they need by leaving them too much money. Even if one kid is well off and another isn't--fortunes do change. The well off kid could go through a layoff or become disabled, the not well-off kid could marry rich late in life. If one kid is getting a lot of gifts during life (for rehab or whatever), even it up while you are alive.

How will you make sure that a second wife will not get to the kids' money?

[Anonymous]

Leave it all to charity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evenly. My spouse (first and only) have an estate plan that includes trusts to protect our kids' inheritance in the event of death followed by remarriage. I'll be goddamned if some 2nd wife is going to spend her way through what I've worked for and leave my kids out in the cold.

Dividing things up unequally is almost never worth the drama it causes, unless you have one child who is severely disabled, and even then you have to be careful that you don't screw up any benefits they need by leaving them too much money. Even if one kid is well off and another isn't--fortunes do change. The well off kid could go through a layoff or become disabled, the not well-off kid could marry rich late in life. If one kid is getting a lot of gifts during life (for rehab or whatever), even it up while you are alive.

How will you make sure that a second wife will not get to the kids' money?

Good idea. My father's wife is spending any inheritance I would have received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evenly. My spouse (first and only) have an estate plan that includes trusts to protect our kids' inheritance in the event of death followed by remarriage. I'll be goddamned if some 2nd wife is going to spend her way through what I've worked for and leave my kids out in the cold.

Dividing things up unequally is almost never worth the drama it causes, unless you have one child who is severely disabled, and even then you have to be careful that you don't screw up any benefits they need by leaving them too much money. Even if one kid is well off and another isn't--fortunes do change. The well off kid could go through a layoff or become disabled, the not well-off kid could marry rich late in life. If one kid is getting a lot of gifts during life (for rehab or whatever), even it up while you are alive.

How will you make sure that a second wife will not get to the kids' money?

Good idea. My father's wife is spending any inheritance I would have received.

Is there a way to prevent that?

[Anonymous]

14:48, that starts with the dad. Sadly, I see a number of men with second wives - the men have basically lost touch with children from their first marriage and allow the wives to decorate their homes with photos of children from her first marriage.

Regarding inheritance, I agree that an even split is better, regardless of family incomes. DH draws a good salary while SIL and her family live on a more modest income. However, when they were younger, DH always worked and provided for himself while SIL chose jobs where she could take off for 2-4 months/year to travel with her DH. On occasion, she would ask her parents for money. DH doesn't begrudge when his sis still asks parents for $, but thinks she needs to live with the consequences of her earlier decisions to delay her career when it comes to the inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Evenly. My spouse (first and only) have an estate plan that includes trusts to protect our kids' inheritance in the event of death followed by remarriage. I'll be goddamned if some 2nd wife is going to spend her way through what I've worked for and leave my kids out in the cold.

Dividing things up unequally is almost never worth the drama it causes, unless you have one child who is severely disabled, and even then you have to be careful that you don't screw up any benefits they need by leaving them too much money. Even if one kid is well off and another isn't--fortunes do change. The well off kid could go through a layoff or become disabled, the not well-off kid could marry rich late in life. If one kid is getting a lot of gifts during life (for rehab or whatever), even it up while you are alive.

How will you make sure that a second wife will not get to the kids' money?

If you bolded/read a few words earlier you would see she said they have an estate plan with trusts. Basically the idea is that on death a chunk (or even all) of her assets will go into trusts for the benefit of her kids. Generally the trust will have some rules about how the money is to be invested and how the earnings are to be spent/reinvested, but any money spent will be for the benefit of the kids (so it could cover private school tuition, but not a private jet). Most trusts eventually terminate when the child is old "enough" to get the money.

[Anonymous]

The thing to watch is dementia with a second spouse preventing access of the children, and ultimately changing the will. It happens a LOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing to watch is dementia with a second spouse preventing access of the children, and ultimately changing the will. It happens a LOT.

That's why you go for an irrevocable trust!

[Anonymous]

Does anyone know any good inexpensive estate people?

[Anonymous]

My grandfather left totally unequal amounts of $ to my mom's side vs my aunt's side of the family. It was kind of shitty.

[Anonymous]

I am sure MIL intends to be "more charitable" putting it too nicely - to SILs and not so to DH, even though he has done so much for the family and they basically would not be where they are without DH. She's just a sh*tty and arbitrary person. She is very old, otherwise it would never cross my mind. She squirrels it away, but I guarantee a lawsuit if she tries to shortchange DH. DH will gladly eat up any and all of what SIL gets if she is left more. He is seeing how rotten she is as time passes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am sure MIL intends to be "more charitable" putting it too nicely - to SILs and not so to DH, even though he has done so much for the family and they basically would not be where they are without DH. She's just a sh*tty and arbitrary person. She is very old, otherwise it would never cross my mind. She squirrels it away, but I guarantee a lawsuit if she tries to shortchange DH. DH will gladly eat up any and all of what SIL gets if she is left more. He is seeing how rotten she is as time passes.

You and your husband plan on filing a lawsuit if your MIL doesn't leave him what he wants in her will? What would the claim be? Other than some anti-cut out language that some states may still have (though that's usually for spouses or minor kids), I can't think of what you'd have to complain about. That she is choosing to spend her money as she sees fit? Now I've heard it all.

[Anonymous]

In France every descendant is guaranteed under law an approximately equal share of the inheritance. Some may view this as State interference, but at least everybody knows where they stand and there are no dashed expectations and betrayals.