second parent adoption vs step-parent adoption

[Anonymous]

what is the difference and who are good attorneys to deal with such cases in DC?

TIA!

[Anonymous]

Just went through this in MD. Prior to gay marriage in DC and MD hinting that t would recognize it, gay couples had to do second parent adoptions, which essentially involves two legally unrelated people becoming parents to the child. Most attorneys would draw up the paperwork in such a way that the current legal parent would give up his or her parental rights and then, in the same hearing, would ask that both be given parental status. I only know one attorney who didn't do it this way.

With the recognition of gay marriage, it became possible to to a stepparent adoption if there is a legal marriage somewhere. This doesn't involve any status change or giving up of parental rights by the first legal parent. Rather, you go to court and ask to add the marriage partner as a parent.

If there is a second legal parent out there, none of this applies. In that instance, there would have to first be a severance of the parental rights of that paent and then you could proceed with a second part r step parent adoption.

I don't think there is anything significantly different in DC, but an attorney could tell you fr sure.

Are you looking for an attorney to handle a same sex parent case or are the parents of opposite sexes?

[Anonymous]

We used Jennifer Fairfax to do ours. She does a lot of same-sex situations, but also straight couples. She was great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just went through this in MD. Prior to gay marriage in DC and MD hinting that t would recognize it, gay couples had to do second parent adoptions, which essentially involves two legally unrelated people becoming parents to the child. Most attorneys would draw up the paperwork in such a way that the current legal parent would give up his or her parental rights and then, in the same hearing, would ask that both be given parental status. I only know one attorney who didn't do it this way.

With the recognition of gay marriage, it became possible to to a stepparent adoption if there is a legal marriage somewhere. This doesn't involve any status change or giving up of parental rights by the first legal parent. Rather, you go to court and ask to add the marriage partner as a parent.

If there is a second legal parent out there, none of this applies. In that instance, there would have to first be a severance of the parental rights of that paent and then you could proceed with a second part r step parent adoption.

I don't think there is anything significantly different in DC, but an attorney could tell you fr sure.

Are you looking for an attorney to handle a same sex parent case or are the parents of opposite sexes?

OP here, thanks for the great information. It is a same sex relationship, we are engaged to be married later on this year. My ex, henceforth called the donor, is not even on the birth certificate and has never seen my child. He has refused to take paternity tests that would hold him accountable, so hopefully this will not be an issue. How much do stepparent adoptions usually run?

[Anonymous]

PP here, I think we paid around $2500. You have several good options for attorneys. Michele Zavos is the pioneer in the field, but on the expensive side last time I checked. Jennifer Fairfax was mentioned and she can et the job done for you. My favorite is Kirsten Gulling. I think Sue Silberman also does this kind of work, but I don't know anything about her work. If you pick up a copy of the Washington Blade (if it's still around) there is bound to be advertisements for other lawyers.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the great information. It is a same sex relationship, we are engaged to be married later on this year. My ex, henceforth called the donor, is not even on the birth certificate and has never seen my child. He has refused to take paternity tests that would hold him accountable, so hopefully this will not be an issue. How much do stepparent adoptions usually run?

Unfortunately, I think this situation will make the adoption more complicated, but I'm not a lawyer so what do I know.

I used Jennifer Fairfaz and was really happy with her work and her pricing is very good.

[Anonymous]

sorry the quotes didn't work in the previous post

[Anonymous]

We also used Jennifer Fairfax and thought she was just great...there was a fixed price for the whole process. Everything went without a hitch and she was available to answer our questions each step of the way. She was extremely professional, but also down to earth. I can't say enough good things about her.

[Anonymous]

As a same sex couple, 2nd parent adoption offers greater protection than step parent adoption. If you were to move to a state that doesn't recognize same sex marriage the step parent adoption could be challenged in the grounds that the marriage was not valid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a same sex couple, 2nd parent adoption offers greater protection than step parent adoption. If you were to move to a state that doesn't recognize same sex marriage the step parent adoption could be challenged in the grounds that the marriage was not valid.

I can't imagine any scenario where that will happen. There is nothing in the court decree that indicates whether the adoption was step parent or second parent so, once it's granted no one even knows how you filed.