Teens & Not Living at Home

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with a 17 year old daughter, the daughter has drug & alcohol issues. The parents (dad & stepmom) can no longer deal with the daughters lying, thieving, run-ins with the law so they've allowed her (since she was 16) to leave their home and live with friends. My question is - is this legal and isn't she still a minor under their care? I've seen her with pot at school as well as alcohol. I've thought about calling cps because this child desperately needs help. Her parents are good people but they've basically written her off because she's such a disaster and the stepmom has kids of her own that she's worried about. Is this a myob or would you call to get the girl help?

[Anonymous]

16 and 17 is the age kids can live on their own
But most will need a lot of financial support from family.
Sometimes it happens because the family is poor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16 and 17 is the age kids can live on their own
But most will need a lot of financial support from family.
Sometimes it happens because the family is poor

This doesn't really answer my question. She still isn't 18 which means her parents are still legally responsible for her. They are also not poor. Drugs & alcohol are involved. I know a 16 or 17 year old can live by themselves but that doesn't mean they should.

[Anonymous]

Well, to be fair, your question was it if it is legal. I don't know if the PP's answer is correct, but I think she believes it is legal.

Whether or not it is legal is irrelevant, though, in my book. I would contact CPS immediately. The stepmom seems to have (stereo) typical stepmom problems with, and no 16 year old should be written off.

Home may not be the best place, but CPS may be able to guide the family toward the right resources and counseling to help her.

[Anonymous]

I would start with the guidance counselor at school - maybe they can quarterback any needed intervention from CPS. I've found our school guidance counselor extremely helpful in a few prior sticky situations that I felt were not quite my business, but needed to be brought to someone's attention.

[Anonymous]

what else is going on besides the drinking?
That is actually quite common.
CPS mostly is only involved with small children. Abandoned teenagers are a problem. At most the parents can be sued to force them to support their teen. But legally that obligation ends at 18 years.
If she is living on her own at 16 she must be quite independent. This is good

[Anonymous]

You don't know what they tried or what was going on at home before they let her leave. They may well have offered help, only to have it refused. At that age, most psych hospitals won't take/keep a child who refuses to consent to treatment.....sometimes the only thing you can do is let them go and pray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't know what they tried or what was going on at home before they let her leave. They may well have offered help, only to have it refused. At that age, most psych hospitals won't take/keep a child who refuses to consent to treatment.....sometimes the only thing you can do is let them go and pray.

She's not independent or living on her own. She's living at a friend's house. They kicked her out because of the drugs, stealing, and police trouble.

[Anonymous]

At one point, I offered my daughter a choice of therapy, placement, a nice home with my sister whom she loved, residential drug treatment----she refused and went to live on the streets. I had two other kids at home. I loved her dearly, but the drugs, stealing and fighting were too much. No place would take her since she wouldn't agree, and juvie wouldn't take her since she wasn't truant. Don't judge. Unless you're there every minute, you don't know what is really happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At one point, I offered my daughter a choice of therapy, placement, a nice home with my sister whom she loved, residential drug treatment----she refused and went to live on the streets. I had two other kids at home. I loved her dearly, but the drugs, stealing and fighting were too much. No place would take her since she wouldn't agree, and juvie wouldn't take her since she wasn't truant. Don't judge. Unless you're there every minute, you don't know what is really happening.

I'm not judging and I am there, I know what's going on. How old was your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She's not independent or living on her own. She's living at a friend's house. They kicked her out because of the drugs, stealing, and police trouble.

then it is illegal.
child abandonment.
they should have waited until she is 18 to dump her on the streets/friends house.
cps will not help
get her a lawyer and she can sue for support

[Anonymous]

15. CPS and the courts offered me nothing. If a kid that age isn't truant, parents have no recourse.

[Anonymous]

If CPS is called the parents will have a neglect case. Your child can be the devil himself, if they don't do anything illegal you are still required to take care of them. You have to at least try develop a paper trail of action items that you attempted to put in place so that the judge and/or CPS can tell the difference between a hopeless parent and a neglectful parent.

[Anonymous]

At 17, I would be willing to bet that CPS would drag its feet investigating just waiting for the kid to turn 18.

[Anonymous]

And on the other had, abandoned teenager have become a problem in this area.
Increasingly common, unfortunately.
Maybe the police will help more.