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If a friend calls, and you're not up to talking...
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Anonymous
| ... because of a private reason (such as struggling with fertility troubles), have you somehow avoided/postponed the conversation? I know good friends will understand, etc, but what about for instances that perhaps you aren't ready to share details yet. I know this must sound very basic, but these days I'm not really up to talking much about myself, for those private reasons. I guess I wish I were a better actress, and could just truly be happy overall, and continue a "normal" chat. Usually I can just carry forward, and would focus the convo more on the other person. I'm just not the best at trying to sound/be upbeat, when inside I'm not. Wondering if others can relate.. |
Anonymous
Do you have caller ID? I ignore plenty of calls when I'm not up to talking. Sorry you're going through this. |
Anonymous
| Thanks, PP, I do have caller ID, so I can ignore ... I guess I'd feel guilty, e.g., say the person may not have called in a long while (so it would be a catch-up type call). I know it's up to me, though, if I wish to answer or not... |
Anonymous
| You are in control so you can answer and if the caller brings up something you don't want to talk aboit just say you don't want to talk about it right now...easy. |
Anonymous
| I usually answer but say something like, "I'm on my lunch break, so I can listen while I eat, but I can't talk. Tell me about you!" |
Anonymous
This would annoy me. I would just respond that I will call back later, but probably not call back. |
Anonymous
| Send them a text so they know you aren't ignoring them, but you can't talk. Then go find a friend who you're always willing to talk to. Everybody needs one of those. |
Anonymous
If it is someone who you don't usually chat with who has called to just catch up, IF THEY AER GENERALLY GOOD FRIENDS AND SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE, I think you should make an effort and try to have a conversation with them. When people feel depressed about life events, they can tend to isolate themselves from friends. Try not to let that happen. If they are supportive it woudl be good to let them know you are going through some tough medical issues. IF THEY AREN"T GOOD FRIENDS AND SUPPORTIVE, I think you should just excuse yourself and send an email or text -- "THanks so much for calling! Sorry I'm not up for chatting right now; I'm going through some personal stuff and just don't feel like being a good conversationalist, but I really appreciate your call and I hope we can catch up when I'm feeling up to it." |
Anonymous
|
I agree with the PP about sending a little text...I have been in your shoes and I remember those days too well. I would just silence the call and then send a little text saying something like "sorry, can't talk but I will call you soon". If I knew they were calling for a "fertility" update, I would add something like "we will be trying again next month". I did always try to project a positive spin on all my fertility issues...even if it was completely transparent...it just felt better to say something positive than something negative about my body.
I really am sorry that you are experiencing this...your friends are probably excited, curious, hopeful for you...and don't forget that fertility can cause some INSANE hormones...I shudder at the thought of how emotional I was (in hindsight-) my poor DH! |
Anonymous
| OP here ... Thanks a lot for all your suggestions and support, you all made great points, with helpful ideas. I agree it's not healthy/best to get so isolated. It's tough, as many of you know, that sometimes talking even with the closest friends (and even family) is not easy, or possible, just now. Again, really appreciate all your help. |
Anonymous
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How long are you intending to hide like this, OP?
You can always ignore the call and then send an email saying i'm sorry i missed your call blah blah blah and ask about how they're doing. |