If you are a parent that the teachers like, and are friendly with. Please tell me your secret.

[Anonymous]

Would love to know how to get on a teacher's good side, without brown nosing!!

[Anonymous]

Talk to them like real people. Show an interest in them. Listen to to them. Make it clear that you respect their opinion and value their input. Help out often. Don't be a pest.

[Anonymous]

Teachers adore my DH. He's self-effacing, helpful and always does the things that other people won't do, like chaperone field trips. He doesn't disrupt the schedule (like whirling into the room with a big plate of cupcakes for the class for snack -- sugary, not helpful, more about the baking mom than the kids) and when it was his turn to pick up/drop off, always was right on time with the children. He would ask if the teachers needed anything as he just happened to be going to Staples or wherever and they would ask for kleenexes or wipes or pencils or whatever they needed. This made a huge difference for how they treated our children. One of my kids has special needs and so I was the advocate, dealing with those issues with the school while my husband was super helpful. We were very successful with this approach which just happened and was not really planned.

[Anonymous]

PP - your husband sounds great. I think I may have my husband read this post so that he knows that men can actually take on this kind of role at school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to them like real people. Show an interest in them. Listen to to them. Make it clear that you respect their opinion and value their input. Help out often. Don't be a pest.

This. I know if their married, have kids, kids names and ages. If they're out for a few days, ask if they or the kids were sick. Simple things that you do with most anybody.

Like the next poster, I ask if they need anything - like markers and such. I also volunteer to chaperone on field trips, and when there is a special party at school, I try to make it.

[Anonymous]

Treat them with the respect that you treat other professionals ( such as doctors or lawyers) who have greater knowledge and experience in a particular field than you have, unless they prove otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and a mother. We have lives like everyone else and sometimes those lives aren't neat and organized. Sometimes things are out of our control like sick kids. It would be nice to acknowledge that we have families too. Please remember that we want what is best for your kids too. Sometimes we may tell you something you don't want to hear but we tell you because we want the best for your kids. Don't overreact when we say "Johnny has had trouble following directions in school." Don't run out and get him tested but don't ignore this either. Please make sure your child does their homework. Do not do it with them unless they need help (teach them to ask for help). Try to schedule vacations so that they are not during school. It can be extremely difficult to make up tests with individual students during the school day. Do not come into a new class situation with demands. It takes me a few weeks to get to know your child (it probably takes longer for middle and high school teachers) so give me some time. Basically, treat me like a human being and understand that I care about your child's success as much as you do.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. Helpful W/out running the show! Let the teacher know what a great job she is doing (if it is true!) Thanks for this thread, OP!

[Anonymous]

Don't gossip. No one trusts a gossip.

[Anonymous]

10:26 here. I meant that as someone that teachers are friendly with. Since I don't gossip, they trust me.

[Anonymous]

And overall be respectful and friendly and helpful. Let them know you appreciate them. Smile. My dd's teacher last year seemed to like me and knew I liked and appreciated her. When my dd had problems with reading I asked the teacher for some suggestions to help at home, I applied the suggestions and some part of it worked and the teacher noticed. And I saw the difference so the next time I saw the teacher I told her I tried to do what she suggested and it worked, and I told her thanks so much. And I would periodically ask her if she needed anything for her class or whatever.

If you are doing it to brown-nose then eventually that becomes apparent but if you are sincere then it will go a longer way.

[Anonymous]

these are very helpful!

[Anonymous]

I think listening to what a teacher says, and not assume you know better than they do, goes a long way. DS has some special needs and occasionally has had behavior issues. We let the teachers handle this the way they deem best, even though we might opt for a different approach. It also helps to recognize that your child is one of a classroom full of students and communicate when necessary but not excessively/obsessively (and as the parent of a child with some issues, this can take some self-control at times). We always let them know we appreciate their time and help, if we have to have a meeting/conference. We also sent notes at the end of the year -- in one case, to the principal (for a new teacher who was outstanding with DS).

I don't know that the teachers "like" us (although one sent a note after we all ran into him one evening just to say it was nice seeing us) but they do know that we're respectful and want to work with them. We ask, without being demanding. In many ways, the parent-teacher relationship is a partnership and it helps to treat them as equals.

[Anonymous]

Another teacher here.

I don't really need, nor do I expect, you to be concerned about my personal life, although I'm *not* offended if you ask about my kids or my weekend. More importantly, I appreciate it when you are professional, courteous, and patient when you have an issue you'd like to discuss. One of the most difficult things about communicating with parents is that when they have an issue, they want you to discuss it right that very minute, often during transition times or at another unscheduled moment. Everyone thinks their question will only take a minute, but, in reality, they often want to talk longer. I'm always happy to discuss your child's issue with you, in person or on the phone, at length. Please, though, make an appointment first, preferably by email (and give us a day to get back to you, not an hour) so I can be prepared. It's polite and professional and really, the number one thing you can do that would help me do my job well.

[Anonymous]

We always rely on the old adage "I will believe half of what your child says about you if you believe only half of what your child says about me."

When our kid comes home with complaints (doesn't happen often), I always tell him I will call the teacher to confirm that the stories match. Usually, this results in more details and a much more reasonable version of events. Now he is more honest from the beginning, even if it means he might get in trouble. He knows that we have his back if he was wronged, but he is in big trouble if he is exagerating or embellishing. I know this will probably change as he gets closer to middle school and those ugly pre-teen years.