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Moving across the country - scared to screw up my kid
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Anonymous
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I have a 15 MO and I am terrified that the sight of the movers packing away her crib and the entire house full of stuff is going to absolutely terrify her. We have a long journey ahead of us, and a tiny apartment and rental furniture waiting on the other end. We plan to take a year or so to save money in a small place (and of course our own furniture will eventually show up). DH is going to be stay-at-home until he gets a job, which honestly could be months, which means she won't have the stability of daycare like she does now. I'm just afraid that this huge transition is going to be really really hard on her. What should I be doing to make this all better for her?
TIA! |
Anonymous
| Why would staying at home with her dad be less stable than daycare? It should be great for her, she gets to be with her dad for a while. She'll be fine. She's too young to care about all that stuff. As long as she's with you she'll be fine. |
Anonymous
| I think you are predicting a worst case scenario, which in my opinion is unlikely to occur. |
Anonymous
Her dad is great, and very stable! But she is used to the social environment and schedule of daycare. I guess I'm just concerned that she's used to the daycare environment and this is completely different. |
Anonymous
| Kids are very adaptable, especially at that age. She'll be fine! |
Anonymous
| She'll be fine! I agree with the PP that kids are pretty adaptable, especially at that age. |
Anonymous
Get a grip lady. This is hardly going to "terrify" her. I think you are afraid that this huge transition is going to be really hard on you - not your child. |
Anonymous
| If you were talking about a 15 year old, I'd be more worried - I moved several times as a kid and the teen years were the very hardest ones. Babies and small children are incredibly adaptable - as long as she's got a loving environment, it doesn't matter if you're in a house or a temporary rental. I think having some one on one time with her dad sounds great! |
Anonymous
| I'm not going to say "troll" here but OP, I gotta wonder if you're choosing the wrong words on purpose to get a reaction. Your baby will be terrified by the sight of her crib being packed up? You're making it sound as horrific as watching a fatal crash happen 20 feet away. |
Anonymous
| Get a grip, OP. A 15-month-old is not even going to realize what is happening. BUT if you decide to project your own feelings of fear and anxiety on her, she will absolutely pick up on that. |
Anonymous
Bingo. Please admit that YOU are the one who is terrified. There is nothing wrong with that, but please try not to transmit it to your child. This should be viewed as an adventure for all of you! |
Anonymous
Ditto this. This will be a big transition for you guys. She isn't old enough to really notice too much. I think Dad taking care of her is a much better idea of strangers at a daycare center. |
Anonymous
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I moved every three years (sometimes even more often) for my entire childhood. Then I married a military officer and we moved every three years. My husband is no longer military, but works for the Federal Gov't. We've moved six times in 11 years. My kids have never been "traumatized". At 15 months old, she isn't going to care as long as you and daddy are around to provide security.
And staying home with daddy is so much better than daycare! |
Anonymous
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We had a trans-Atlantic move when my DD was 14 months. I don't think the packing up troubled her, though we left her high chair on the curb to be thrown out and that was clearly confusing (but not distressing) for her. (She looked hard at it and pointed.)
Our stuff took a couple of months to follow us, but when it did, she said the names of several toys she hadn't seen in the meantime, which she hadn't even been able to articulate before the move. So she remembered them, but none of this seemed particularly stressful for her. |
Anonymous
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OP here - LOVE the DCUM bitches! Thanks so much for your input ladies!
Yes, I am afraid. Afraid for the difficult transition and want to do right by my daughter. I have a feeling that many of you who want to jump down my throat my go through similar feelings of fear and guilt if you were in my shoes. To those of you who offered support, it is nice to hear that I'm not about to screw up my kid! Thank you!! |