dealing with spouses' different diet requirements?

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid the two of us should stop eating the same things at meals because we have different health concerns. I have IBS, which means I should limit raw veggies, gas-producing veggies, raw fruit, beans, bran, basically anything hard to digest. When my stomach acts up, I am very limited in the foods I can eat without upset--basically simple carbs: saltines, white bread, oatmeal, bananas, etc. DW is pregnant and trying to follow the Wisdom Midwifery diet--lots of veggies! no simple carbs! Argh. Any tips on dealing with this from people who have been through something similar?

[Anonymous]

cook your own meals. Sounds like you don't want to eat the same thing at meals, so don't. You're both grown-ups.

[Anonymous]

Um, thanks. It's a PITA to each prepare different food most of the time, or for one person to prepare two different meals for dinner. I was asking for advice on how to deal with this or get around it. However, when my stomach is really bothering me, oatmeal is really easy to make for dinner for me while I make a real dinner for DW.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is a PITA. It sounds, in a way, that you may feel that, since your condition was a known factor, your wife should bend her pregnancy diet rules because it isn't really necessary and is inconvenient for all the reasons you say. As someone who developed extensive food allergies after a pregnancy, I agree wholeheartedly with 14:44. If you are lucky, your inconvenience will be over in 9 months and not last the rest of your lifetime. Fortunately, my husband is very good-natured about it, unlike you seem to be.

[Anonymous]

OP, my DH has ulcerative colitis so I am very familiar with your dietary needs. He also limits, in addition to bulky fibers, pretty much anything with fat / red meat / no dairy. Hates nuts.

Me: I eat anything but must have lots of fibrous foods. I love nuts.

DCs: their only protein sources are red meat / dairy /chicken. ie, stuff DH cannot eat. They are allergic to nuts.


OK, that's my big wind-up to tell you that 14:44 is basically right. You're gonna need to get used to the idea of separate cooking, separate menus. That's the way it goes.

It doesn't mean you can't sit down to eat together, obviously, but it does require more forethought and more time.

the <one> tip I have is: list all the meals that you can both eat, anytime. Memorize the recipes and keep the ingredients on hand. That keeps us a little sane, to know that I always have fresh, organic chicken and frozen white fish in the freezer. The rest is kind of a free-for-all committed to memory.