Need encouragement/tips to travel with young kids...

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if this post will get flamed, but here goes...

We have a 15 month old and a just-turned 3 year old and DH and I are scared to travel with them. Up until now, it's been really hard to imagine taking a vacation with them, as the toddler was still on 2 naps a day (neither of which corresponded to the 3 year old's nap schedule), so btwn the 2 of them, someone was napping from 9am to 3 or 4pm all day. The older child definitely still needs her nap and if she misses it or takes too short of one, has a complete and utter meltdown by the end of the day. Napping is important to us!

We think we're too afraid and wimpy and are overthinking this traveling thing! We'd like to get back out there and experience fun stuff and travel as a family. Anyone have words of encouragement or suggestions of things to do/places to go? We've driven to Charleston once and will probably do it again this fall.

[Anonymous]

In order to enjoy the experience you have to think about what works the best for your whole family. We have found that our kids actually surprise us when we travel and now at 6 and 9 they are great little travelers. With that said when they were younger you do end up spending a majority of your time with sleeping kids. Our DS needed regular naps in a bed not a stroller - it meant one of us was bound to the hotel/apartment during this time. The other parent could go out with the older kid and do stuff. We didn't always do everything together but its what worked best. Pick a location that gives you flexibily- for us having a hotel or apartment with a separate bedroom worked wonders. Kids sleep, parents can eat a late dinner, read a book, watch tv etc. We started off with locations that we didn't have to spend a ton of money visiting so we didn't feel like we were wasting our time or money. It can be difficult traveling with kids but until you get over the "stress" of it the actual trips we took have been wonderful. For us our kids were not great car travelers when they were younger but we fine on airplanes. So we flew and kept our driving to a minimum. At a young age we enjoyed San Diego - rented a house for a week. A beach trip in the summer. Rented a house, spent part of the day at the beach, some at the pool, some just hanging out at the house. As they go older we've travelered further and further a field. My DH and I have always traveled so there was no way we were going to stop when we had kids. For us the things that worked the best was having an apartment or house with a kitchen and separate bedrooms. We flew non-stop and selected times that worked best for us (it was more expensive but attempting to catch a 7 am flight with a young kid was not worth the stress). We had to be flexible and adapt to the kids ad their needs. If they were more tired one day than we wouldn't push them into doing something that would only end up in a tantrum. Most nights we cooked in or picked up food and ate early at our house. We spent most afternoons with the kids napping. Jet lag had to be taken into consideration. Kids traveling west will be up early for a few days, Kids traveling East will sleep in.

[Anonymous]

I have a bunker mentality about toddlers. You just gotta get through it. For some families, travel is great because it's distracting and their kids get new experiences (and/or I suspect they go to places where family helps out and gives the parents a break!). For our family, not so much. I am in some ruts and that's OK for toddlers, they really like routines and predictability. I also like having all my "props" around me so that I can easily take care of two LOs and not stress it. So I'm of the mindset that we'll travel in a few years, but that doing it right now just isn't fun for me. (And of course I think it's a factor that my ILs are insanely unhelpful and my parents are dead; so we don't get much "reward" for the stress of traveling right now.)

[Anonymous]

I understand your position b/c we are generally slaves to our routine too (because we are all happier that way), but I think if your 15 month old is now napping once, you're in a good position to start traveling again. Especially as the previous poster suggested with apartments or two room hotels (think "suites"--we've been pleased with Embassy Suites and Doubletree Suites where you get two rooms for a regular hotel price (in fact we stayed at the doubletree in Charleston). Our kids are now 6 and 3.

We've also really enjoyed renting houses in drivable locals (Deep Creek, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Delaware beaches). A few hour drive at nap time and you are somewhere new and can explore during the day, return for naps, explore, eat and then hang out after the kids go to bed (especially fun with another family). We had a great time in Boston when our older child was 2 (we didn't have the younger yet) and have made nearly annual trips to NY. Every year we visit family in midwest which involves changing planes etc. Still they've been fine with some minor sleep disruptions. We're considering a bigger trip (ala west coast or Europe) once our younger one is closer to 4.

You can definitely do some great driving locations (even Charlottesville or Shenandoah), but if you'd like to go farther, you could also take a direct flight to Florida, the Caribbean, Savannah, or a place like New Orleans without too much challenge I think. Or something like Vermont this fall? I've heard great things about Montreal (2 hours flight I think) but not sure how little kid friendly it is.

I say go for it...don't have pre-kid travel expectations and you'll probably have a great time!

[Anonymous]

2215 again. If you do fly, there are oodles in the archives about entertaining the kids on the plane (if it were me, for the 3 year old, it'd be portable DVD (dora, sesame street etc and then it's just the younger one to focus on keeping happy). The 15 month old will obviously be harder, I think 1-2 yrs is the hardest flying age, but it still hasn't been too bad for us. Driving places let's you take all your safety nets with you (toys, pack n play, etc).

[Anonymous]

Traveling with younger kids can be stressful. We actually discovered it was more stressful traveling with grandparents and other siblings because they wouldn't help us out but had very unrealistic expectations of what we could do together as a group. They didn't understand the need for our kids to take naps and yet when the kids went into overload mode all of a sudden we were terrible parents who couldn't control our kids. Keep things simple, figure out what schedules and routines work best for your family. Our kids thrived on routine at that age - not that it had to be at their own home but we had to stick to regular naps and eating schedules to keep the peace. You won't be able to do everything at your destination and you have to be flexible. With that said we've had really wonderful and actually relaxing vacations with our kids. First and foremost rent an apartment, house, or stay in a suite. Having a kitchen, microwave, and separate bedrooms is ideal for feeling at home. When are your kids at their best? Ours were moring kids - so doing things early was better. They needed their naps and didn't do well sleeping in strollers so most afternoons we'd hang around the house/apartment etc. Lower your expectations. For our kids something as simple as going for an ice cream sundae or watching construction sites were all it took for the perfect day, a day at a playground etc. Too much over stimulation made them miserable - they didn't enjoy amusement parks or crowded locations. For us traveling with young kids can be tough but it allowed all of us to get use to the experience, figure what worked and what didn't. Each trips offered its own challenge but usually the good outweighted the bad.

[Anonymous]

Check out these blogs for encouragement and tips:
Delicious Baby
Globe-toddling

We just have one 2 yr old and haven't done many "big trips" with him, but he's been to about 10 states, on a cruise, on 16 roundtrip flights, to the beach three times, to NYC, Shenandoah, all over DC, Baltimore, and Annapolis, camping, etc, and we've had a lot of fun.

Go for it and have fun!

[Anonymous]

If you stay home each day because of a nap schedule, I consider you to be a control freak. Probably should stay away from travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you stay home each day because of a nap schedule, I consider you to be a control freak. Probably should stay away from travel.

OP here. Well, you are welcome to come to my house each day around 4pm and handle the two children who are having extreme meltdowns due to exhaustion. We go out in the mornings and afternoons but do protect the 12-3 nap time. Not sure how you interpreted that we stay home all day b/c of naps.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely hated traveling with kids who were between 1 and 2, although I did it. It wasn't fun. Wait a year and things will be infinitely better, and in 2 years, you can actually start having fun trips with the kids (provided you don't have another baby to contend with).

What we did for our own sanity was limit vacations to visiting family (which in one case was a very long overseas trip) and going someplace kid-friendly and close-by (Lancaster, the beach). Now that the youngest is nearly 4, our last 3 trips have actually been fun.

[Anonymous]

Wait until the kids have outgrown naps or leave them home with someone. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Just go!! You'll figure out what works.

I only have one kid, so much less challenging, but he is not quite two, and we have taken him to a bunch of places--west coast, Australia, UK, numerous trips to upstate NY to see family, Boston, New Orleans. We like to travel, and we just make it work. Traveling is harder with a child than without one, but LIFE is harder with a child than without one.

Will your younger child take stroller naps? Or car naps? That's one way to manage naps on the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just go!! You'll figure out what works.

I only have one kid, so much less challenging, but he is not quite two, and we have taken him to a bunch of places--west coast, Australia, UK, numerous trips to upstate NY to see family, Boston, New Orleans. We like to travel, and we just make it work. Traveling is harder with a child than without one, but LIFE is harder with a child than without one.

Will your younger child take stroller naps? Or car naps? That's one way to manage naps on the road.

You only have one kid. Keeping one kid to a schedule is infinitely easier than trying to make it work with 2 little ones.

[Anonymous]

DS, now 8, has been to Alaska (3 years old), Central America (4 years old), Florida (18 months), and numerous other places as a toddler, and now as an older kid. It's a great experience and you shouldn't overthink it. Yeah, when they're toddlers, there's a lot of stuff to haul but suck it up and do it. Seeing the world through your child's eyes is a great thing.

[Anonymous]

I think you're soon getting to the point where it will be much easier to travel. Our 3.5 year old is a great traveler, b/c he's done it so often. Not necessarily to "exotic" destinations, but to visit family and friends. He even knows the "bong bong" on the plane when he can turn on his DVD player. We keep loosely to his schedule when on vacation, and he does fine.

We now have a 3.5 month old, and it's going to be tougher with two. We're hoping that the baby will be able to sleep a bit more on the go, and that the two will nap/rest simultaneously in the afternoons.

And I agree - traveling with a 1-2 year old is the hardest!