Did you get parental help to buy any houses you own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad bought my condo when I went to law school. It was approx 150k and he put down 20%, out me on the loan with him, and paid the loan on it for the first 3 years while I was in law school. I lived rent free during law school, though I did pay for some utilities etc when I had earnings from summer positions. When I graduated law school and started my first full time law firm job, I took over the loan payments and all association fees and utilities full time. I stayed there for another 4 years. That condo I eventually sold for approx 240k, which proceeds my fiancé and I used to buy our first place together. That next place we eventually sold and bought our house in DC with all the equity we had at that point in time plus approx $50k gift from my husband's parents for the down payment for the DC house. Now we moved out of DC and used the equity from the DC house sale to purchase this house. So the gift from 20 years ago from my dad has grown exponentially for us and really allowed us to be on the "property ladder" fully the whole time in a way we didn't really foresee at the time but has been extremely lucky.

This sounds nice, I would like to do something like this for my children. The one million dollar handouts are so outrageously lucky. So ridiculous. Most of our friends in our rich neighborhood got the same handouts. So incredible to think how much harder we had to work to land in the same spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

Same! With the parents living in the $8m house. Are you parents wealthy? I feel like there’s not a ton of people in our situation.

No, my parents were not wealthy: my father was chronically unemployed and both my parents lived way beyond their means so we were one step away from bankruptcy all of the time (they probably should have filed). We are not in the same situation at all. If your parents have an $8MM house I assume that your upbringing and privilege growing up are off the charts. Congrats, but you're not one of the poors.

[Anonymous]

No, we have not had any help in any way ever, including college. We bought for 430k in 2017. House is worth about 800k now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

Same! With the parents living in the $8m house. Are you parents wealthy? I feel like there’s not a ton of people in our situation.

No, my parents were not wealthy: my father was chronically unemployed and both my parents lived way beyond their means so we were one step away from bankruptcy all of the time (they probably should have filed). We are not in the same situation at all. If your parents have an $8MM house I assume that your upbringing and privilege growing up are off the charts. Congrats, but you're not one of the poors.

No such thing as poors.

[Anonymous]

My parents have given me tremendous amounts of help buying real estate. They gave me $10,000 toward an $80,000 down payment on my first condo, and also helped arrange a $30,000 gift from my great-uncle towards that. We sold that condo and bought a house without needing more help, but then they also gave me a $90,000 interest-free three-month loan for a down payment on our current house so we could buy it before selling our previous one.

Would have been nearly impossible for me to get into the real estate market or buy this house without their help, and I am aware every day of how generous they were and how privileged I am to be able to get their help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents have given me tremendous amounts of help buying real estate. They gave me $10,000 toward an $80,000 down payment on my first condo, and also helped arrange a $30,000 gift from my great-uncle towards that. We sold that condo and bought a house without needing more help, but then they also gave me a $90,000 interest-free three-month loan for a down payment on our current house so we could buy it before selling our previous one.

Would have been nearly impossible for me to get into the real estate market or buy this house without their help, and I am aware every day of how generous they were and how privileged I am to be able to get their help.

Though of course I'm sure someone will soon come along to scoff at me for calling $40,000 in gifts and a $90,000 loan "tremendous" help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad bought my condo when I went to law school. It was approx 150k and he put down 20%, out me on the loan with him, and paid the loan on it for the first 3 years while I was in law school. I lived rent free during law school, though I did pay for some utilities etc when I had earnings from summer positions. When I graduated law school and started my first full time law firm job, I took over the loan payments and all association fees and utilities full time. I stayed there for another 4 years. That condo I eventually sold for approx 240k, which proceeds my fiancé and I used to buy our first place together. That next place we eventually sold and bought our house in DC with all the equity we had at that point in time plus approx $50k gift from my husband's parents for the down payment for the DC house. Now we moved out of DC and used the equity from the DC house sale to purchase this house. So the gift from 20 years ago from my dad has grown exponentially for us and really allowed us to be on the "property ladder" fully the whole time in a way we didn't really foresee at the time but has been extremely lucky.

This is very smart and what I'd like to do to help my DC. It's a smart investment no matter what because even if your kid winds up not taking over the loan or staying there, you have an investment property you can rent or sell. But yes, the think with real estate as an investment is that you do not *need* to start out in an 800k row house or something.

This is also an argument for starting out post-college life in a midsize, affordable city. You don't have to stay forever. But live somewhere where it's possible to buy a small house or condo in a desirable area (you need to think about resale) as pay the mortgage in an entry level salary, and then by your mid to late 20s, you will have some equity built up. And it's more feasible that parents could help with a down payment on a 150-250k home than something 500k and up.

This enables people to them move to places like DC, Boston, Seattle and buy property. Especially if they marry and combine resources. It's all about working up incrementally.

I wish this is what I'd done. I knew nothing. My parents knew nothing. Now I get it and my own kid will get a much more complete and useful financial education (in addition to some funds for a first home).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t really understand the thread maybe. I made several million by 30 and actually turned down $$$s from wife’s parents. Seeing other parents continue to control their adult kids’ lives through $$$s (and kids allowing it) was enough of a turnoff that it seemed stupid to accept anything that would just be more money for really no reason.

My wife will inherit a bunch so she will get it eventually, but I don’t understand just taking money for s**ts and giggles.

Yes, I think you don’t understand the thread. Generally people here haven’t made several million by 30 with no help from parents. So if they are taking money from parents it isn’t for “sh*ts and giggles”. Now, there may be people who have made several million *because* they had help from parents - I’m in that category. And now I do not take any more money from parents but will be giving to my children.

I get paying for kid’s college…but why did you require a handout for the rest…or are you saying they gave you millions which is how you “made” millions.

It’s not that I “required” it. They had it to give (because they are worth millions), and while I could service a mortgage, I hadn’t been able to save enough for a downpayment. Could I have waited several more years and saved more and then bought a house? Yes. But they were happy to give it to me and I was grateful to receive it. Not having to save more for that allowed me to invest and do other things with that money, and that’s now I’ll be in position to do the same for my children. You seem weirdly angry about this, but I think it’s a fairly common scenario when parents have money.

Yeah, not angry about it…but you got a handout because you weren’t capable of making it on your own. Again, we have parents with money as I stated and I guess we will inherit a bunch, but many such as I are capable of saying no thanks…I am an adult and don’t need parental welfare.

DP here. Why do you care so much what other families do with their money? You say you’re not angry about it but then you’re lobbing accusations about what people are capable of and calling it welfare, which … conveys a sense of anger about the situation.

My parents helped me for the tune of 100k. I’m grateful for it and am not upset about people who were gifted 500k from their families or have endless trust funds or whatever. You seem oddly emotionally invested in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those posters whose parents didn’t pay for anything: not college, not grad school, not a car, not my wedding, not any help to buy any of the homes I have ever owned. Congrats to those who get help with any of these things; you are very lucky.

Same! With the parents living in the $8m house. Are you parents wealthy? I feel like there’s not a ton of people in our situation.

No, my parents were not wealthy: my father was chronically unemployed and both my parents lived way beyond their means so we were one step away from bankruptcy all of the time (they probably should have filed). We are not in the same situation at all. If your parents have an $8MM house I assume that your upbringing and privilege growing up are off the charts. Congrats, but you're not one of the poors.

No such thing as poors.

IYKYK. I am happy you didn’t have the same experience as me as a child. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

[Anonymous]

HAHAHAHHHAHAHHAH!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


Poor family, husbands families poor. Didn't get a dime for college or a house or anything ever since we were like 10. No and still don't have a house....

It's very hard to live among the masses that get so much from their families around here.

[Anonymous]

The only way my mom could afford to help me was by dying. She left her house to me.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I bought condos entirely on our own, before we met (I sold mine, we live in his now).

My husband has $200K from his grandfather to buy a house and I have $100K from my grandparents. We plan to buy a house in the $700K range, given the rates ATM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we can all agree, at least, that anyone that accepts a handout, gift, or other measure of help without providing something of commensurate value in return is a total piece of trash. So, it’s okay to accept a $5M inheritance to buy a home…so long as you turn around and pay that forward by donating $5M of your own to a charitable organization, for example. This is what most people do, or at least I would assume. I can’t imagine a society so broken down where this wouldn’t be the norm?

This is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with helping out your family or accepting help from a family member. It's human nature to want to want to support your family. Most wealthy families do not squander their fortune on donations to charity and they frankly would not have been able to accumulate their wealth if they were extremely charitable.

[Anonymous]

Grand-parental, 30 years ago in my early 20ies for a small condo, in full. My parents were junkies, and any money to them was injected or smoked. The condo is now worth about $250k.

[Anonymous]

no, we did it ourselves.
The price right now for me to even entertain the thought of selling is one million and there will be no discussing lowering the price. It's paid off so I can sit out anyone that tries to low ball my asking price.