What do you *REALLY* think of Atheists?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anything of them unless they're pushy about it or mocking people of faith, Proselytizing is obnoxious behavior no matter what the person believes or doesn't believe.

My BIL was like this for a while; he'd bait DH and other family members into theological arguments, and DH unfortunately felt the need to respond rather than ignore it or change the subject. He's gotten much better about not bringing up religion or lack thereof at family gatherings.

Exactly. More evidence of searching. They simply cannot leave it alone.

Maybe it's not searching, but something else -- enjoying debate, trying to talk people out of beliefs that seem ridiculous, wanting to see how people react to having their beliefs challenged, just an argumentative phase that the nonbelievers are going through, etc.

Sort of like people who find religion and want to tell everyone the good news.

You phrase this behavior benignly. But IRL, it often comes off as immature and obnoxious. In the case of my atheist BIL, "winding people up" and "pushing buttons" are a sport. You probably know the meme/jpg "I'm an atheist, debate me." You can't behave this way and then be surprised when you're unpopular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anything of them unless they're pushy about it or mocking people of faith, Proselytizing is obnoxious behavior no matter what the person believes or doesn't believe.

My BIL was like this for a while; he'd bait DH and other family members into theological arguments, and DH unfortunately felt the need to respond rather than ignore it or change the subject. He's gotten much better about not bringing up religion or lack thereof at family gatherings.

Exactly. More evidence of searching. They simply cannot leave it alone.

Maybe it's not searching, but something else -- enjoying debate, trying to talk people out of beliefs that seem ridiculous, wanting to see how people react to having their beliefs challenged, just an argumentative phase that the nonbelievers are going through, etc.

Sort of like people who find religion and want to tell everyone the good news.

You phrase this behavior benignly. But IRL, it often comes off as immature and obnoxious. In the case of my atheist BIL, "winding people up" and "pushing buttons" are a sport. You probably know the meme/jpg "I'm an atheist, debate me." You can't behave this way and then be surprised when you're unpopular.

PP again. Thinking about this some more, you're soft-pedalling behavior that would be unacceptable in any context--political differences, differences in taste wrt clothes or furniture, commenting on somebody's looks or weight, you name it. You're rightfully upset when people of faith tell you you're going to hell. So the fact you think it's OK for atheists to do this speaks volumes about you as an atheist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anything of them unless they're pushy about it or mocking people of faith, Proselytizing is obnoxious behavior no matter what the person believes or doesn't believe.

My BIL was like this for a while; he'd bait DH and other family members into theological arguments, and DH unfortunately felt the need to respond rather than ignore it or change the subject. He's gotten much better about not bringing up religion or lack thereof at family gatherings.

Exactly. More evidence of searching. They simply cannot leave it alone.

Maybe it's not searching, but something else -- enjoying debate, trying to talk people out of beliefs that seem ridiculous, wanting to see how people react to having their beliefs challenged, just an argumentative phase that the nonbelievers are going through, etc.

Sort of like people who find religion and want to tell everyone the good news.

You phrase this behavior benignly. But IRL, it often comes off as immature and obnoxious. In the case of my atheist BIL, "winding people up" and "pushing buttons" are a sport. You probably know the meme/jpg "I'm an atheist, debate me." You can't behave this way and then be surprised when you're unpopular.

Supposed "People of faith" do this a lot and don't even know it, because belief in God is so mainstream they figure that everyone believes and if you don't, you should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anything of them unless they're pushy about it or mocking people of faith, Proselytizing is obnoxious behavior no matter what the person believes or doesn't believe.

My BIL was like this for a while; he'd bait DH and other family members into theological arguments, and DH unfortunately felt the need to respond rather than ignore it or change the subject. He's gotten much better about not bringing up religion or lack thereof at family gatherings.

Exactly. More evidence of searching. They simply cannot leave it alone.

Did you ever think that maybe it is the opposite - that his search is done and he'd like YOU to do some?

Because I bet that's what it is.

Oh please. Tell me that you know zero about human nature without telling me that you know zero about human nature.

Please look in the mirror

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is this thing called Recent Topics.

Dude you commented strongly about a thing you claim to not care to ever discuss. Crazy.

criticizing atheists is like stepping on an ant to some people -- inconsequential; certainly not bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of relatives on my side and in-laws on my husband's side, plus colleagues and friends who are religious (Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, mostly). Sometimes we talk about religion and I'm comfortable saying that I am Atheist, sometimes I'm not comfortable so I talk about them but don't share my view (I never share with work colleagues).

If you consider yourself religious, what do you think of Atheists? My father-in-law won't say it but I'm pretty sure he thinks I worship the Devil and I know he thinks I'm going to hell. There is more to this story but it sometimes gets me thinking that those who practice their faith openly may have some strong opinions they're not saying.

Hoping for some honest replies but if you feel inclined to tell me how wrong my choice is I promise you I've already heard it so I probably won't read more than the first few words of what you post. I respect others' choices and just want the same.

Why are you keeping your atheism secret?

You don’t know what your father in law thinks and the things you think he thinks may or may not be accurate or true. It is not fair to your fil, for you to speak for him and pretend you know what he thinks. That’s a toxic way to treat your family.

Why do you think you fil thinks you are “going to hell?”

People who practice their faith are allowed to do so and if you are leaving out the more to this story, nobody here can give you an accurate answer to your question.

You seem to be very invested in your atheism. You seem to worry about what others think of your atheism.

People probably aren’t all that concerned about your atheism and your life. They have their own lives. You probably have main character syndrome, and think you and your atheism are both cast in a starring role in everyone’s life. Recalibrate your thinking, because that is not true. Most if not all people do not care.

Your fil is probably annoyed with your main character syndrome, not your lack of belief in God.

It’s easy to suss out because you declare that you won’t listen to people who tell you your beliefs are wrong. I’ve never seen a single post in this forum telling an atheist their atheism is wrong. Your main character syndrome is strong

Wow! Okay.

I'm not "keeping it a secret". I just don't share this particular thing about me in every conversation I have. I am also a runner but I don't tell everyone about that, either.

And I do know that my FIL thinks I'm going to hell because he said so to my BIL who told my DH. So.... pretty clear. No assumptions made.

I am invested in my Atheism, I feel like it's the right choice for me. I'm not "worried" about what people think of it, but I'm curious so I raised the question in a discussion forum to.....discuss. But thanks for your effort to make it personal. I'm guessing I've struck a nerve with you in some way. You could benefit from reflecting on that. Your responses (2) to my post are not an effort to add to the discussion, but to attack the question (and me). So I guess this contributes to my understanding of the reactions people have....which is why I don't always share my view. Could you imagine this conversation going well if you and I were talking to each other in person and you said these things to me? But I'm guessing that sitting behind a keyboard makes you a little more brave.

The "more to the story" is that DH and I did not have a religious wedding ceremony and he also said to my BIL that "after that ceremony it's pretty hard for us (he and MIL) to consider them married". We have never gotten an anniversary card or text to acknowledge the date. BIL and wife get invited out to dinner every year. So that's pretty clear and hardly an erroneous assumption on my part regarding what my FIL thinks. Isn't there always "more to the story" for every post? It's a post, not a biography.

It's not that I won't listen to people who believe I'm wrong, it's that I've listened to enough people who have an issue with someone who doesn't believe what they believe so they feel the need to wage some sort of attack....as you have done. Maybe calm down a little.

OP I recognize this poster. They like to lecture and attack if an OP mentions they are atheist. Incredibly judgmental. There is no point in trying to reason with them, it is exhausting.

Hey numbnuts, OP mistook pp for a person of faith when in fact they were atheist. As did you. Are you saying you don't want to reason with the atheist pp?

Numbnuts - are you 5? This is not the same pp that the OP thought was a person of faith -it is a different post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is this thing called Recent Topics.

Dude you commented strongly about a thing you claim to not care to ever discuss. Crazy.

criticizing atheists is like stepping on an ant to some people -- inconsequential; certainly not bad

DP. I disagree, criticizing anyone carries the freight of thought. Yet for some atheists, like you, criticizing religion and people of faith is a sport, something you spend 24/7 doing without providing much in the way of serious analysis.

[Anonymous]

I think atheists are critical thinkers and honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are intelligent and logical.

This. I trust atheists, because they tend to be rational human beings. It’s the religious I am wary of.

[Anonymous]

The atheists posting here all seem the have the aforementioned main character syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think atheists are critical thinkers and honest.

In many cases yes, because they have thought about and rejected religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is this thing called Recent Topics.

Dude you commented strongly about a thing you claim to not care to ever discuss. Crazy.

criticizing atheists is like stepping on an ant to some people -- inconsequential; certainly not bad

It's the way some people used to talk about gays and blacks. Some still do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anything of them unless they're pushy about it or mocking people of faith, Proselytizing is obnoxious behavior no matter what the person believes or doesn't believe.

My BIL was like this for a while; he'd bait DH and other family members into theological arguments, and DH unfortunately felt the need to respond rather than ignore it or change the subject. He's gotten much better about not bringing up religion or lack thereof at family gatherings.

Is discussing religion "proselytizing"? Asking for evidence?

Proselytizing is trying to convince someone of something. Asking for evidence is just asking for evidence, but can seem like proselytizing to someone who realizes, when asked, that hey have no evidence for their beliefs.

Also, it seems like it's societally acceptable to be rude to a person who does not believe in God, and simply stating that you don't believe in God is considered rude to some people. This is evidenced by the responses to OP. Some people don't care. Others care a lot.

It's also evident by some atheists here who don't want to call themselves atheist. The word has developed a bad rep.

See, it's this sort of dishonest engagement that gives atheists a bad name.
1. Atheist proselytizing goes way beyond "asking for evidence," see #2 below just for starters. The "asking for evidence" question is in fact easy, because every person of faith knows that it's not about evidence, instead it's about faith.
2. You don't mention the atheists (not all atheists) who consider it acceptable to be rude to people of faith. My ILs often sneer about religion and clearly they think that's an acceptable thing to do.
3. Yes, the word "atheist" has developed a bad rep but the blame is shared by both believers and badly-behaving atheists.

Re #3, I'm in upstate New York and just this morning I saw a bumper sticker saying "nice atheist" with a smiley face. It made me laugh.

1. disagree. religious people often think they have evidence for their beliefs.
2. If your in-laws sneer at atheists in mixed company, then yes -- it is rude. But if in their own home, maybe not -- and maybe they are not sneering - just being critical, like people often are of people different from them.

Personally, I think that it's widely considered bad behavior to even say you're an atheist (as OP has noted)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is this thing called Recent Topics.

Dude you commented strongly about a thing you claim to not care to ever discuss. Crazy.

criticizing atheists is like stepping on an ant to some people -- inconsequential; certainly not bad

DP. I disagree, criticizing anyone carries the freight of thought. Yet for some atheists, like you, criticizing religion and people of faith is a sport, something you spend 24/7 doing without providing much in the way of serious analysis.

DP is not acquainted with pp, so has no basis in fact for the above comments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is this thing called Recent Topics.

Dude you commented strongly about a thing you claim to not care to ever discuss. Crazy.

criticizing atheists is like stepping on an ant to some people -- inconsequential; certainly not bad

DP. I disagree, criticizing anyone carries the freight of thought. Yet for some atheists, like you, criticizing religion and people of faith is a sport, something you spend 24/7 doing without providing much in the way of serious analysis.

What “serious analysis” would you like to see? Atheists make no claim and proving something doesn’t exist is unfalsifiable. All we can do is respond to your claims.