what do you do with decorating gifts from family that you don't like?

[Anonymous]

My mother and grandmother have very similar taste in decorating and just assume that I do as well. As of yet, we've not owned a home or had any money, so I've accepted their gifts and displayed them - things like wall art, knick-knacks, hand-me-down furniture, etc. I do appreciate these things. Most are beautiful, expensive, and nice quality, but I'm not sure they are really my taste and when we finally have a home of our own (we're in the process of buying), I'm not sure I really want all of these things defining my home.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Some of the pieces are too valuable to just stick in a closet, but I don't want to give them back. Ugh. No idea how to approach this.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Not be noisy but if you are in your 20's or 30's you may not value these items as much right now. If you have the space, I would hold on to them. It's amazing how your taste changes over time. Also, what is garish and annoying to now might be seen in a different light after these family members are gone. I speak from experience.

[Anonymous]

Freecycle! But then again, I haven't been given anything of sentimental value...more like QVC clearance items.

[Anonymous]

Buy a house that has enough room to display the items in an out-of-the-way location.

[Anonymous]

Some things just get displayed in a more out of the way place, such as decorating the guest room (where they can enjoy the pieces, but I don't have to look at them every day). Sentimental but not valuable pieces are in the playroom. I have some really tacky things down there that I would never in a million years buy, but they were my grandparents and I cherish them for the memories. Goes great with my DH's jackalope and singing fish.

Once you have a larger home and have decorated it with stuff you have picked out, the other stuff actually blends in better. Gives it more of an eclectic feel and helps break up a feel of "pages 8-9 of X catalog" or "decorated by So-and-so".

Replacing the frame on art can also change the feel of the piece. Custom mats and frames are not cheap, but if it is a valuable piece, it can really be worth it to frame it to fit in better with the rest of your home. Really made a big difference in some art that we had received as gifts.

A few comments about how you are all out of space to display knick-knacks (or don't have the time to dust to keep them looking nice) might help prevent more gifts of that type.

[Anonymous]

It's up to you (and probably depends on how often the gift-givers visit). After years of taking whatever I could get, I now finally have a house I love and can afford to decorate in my taste (or at least what my current taste is, as it seems to evolve over time). I've chosen not to display things I don't like. It's my house and I want to love- or at least like- everything that's in it. My mother recently asked me why I didn't have the collection of Herend figurines she had given me displayed. I blamed my kids and my fear of them being broken. Hopefully, by the time my kids are a little more grown, the Herend figurines will be more fitting to my style.

I've also gotten better at rejecting gifts. My mother bought me an absolutely hideous but very expensive painting for my birthday. I told her it was such a lovely gesture, but art is really personal and it wasn't my taste. Her feelings were hurt for a while, but I would have felt guilty every time I looked at the painting knowing how much she spent on it and how much I disliked it.

[Anonymous]

My MIL brings back things from her travels for us, and I really have no place for them but I feel I have to put them somewhere. Her house is absolutely beautiful and uncluttered, and I notice she doesn't display this kind of stuff at her house. She is even very limited in how many photos she will put out, just a few in the entire house. I think she likes to buy but doesn't want it in her house, so she enjoys buying it for us. But I hate knick-knacks.

In addition, these things are from HER travels, not mine, so while I might think something is pretty, it really has no meaning to me as it's not a souvenir from MY trip but from hers. I have displayed most of these things in out of the way locations, but one in particular is in our family room. I had to put away something else to make space for it, and every time I look at it, I think how out of place it is because it's not really my style, but if I had bought it to remind me of a trip, I would enjoy seeing it. Something to remind me of someone else's trip, not so enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL brings back things from her travels for us, and I really have no place for them but I feel I have to put them somewhere. Her house is absolutely beautiful and uncluttered, and I notice she doesn't display this kind of stuff at her house. She is even very limited in how many photos she will put out, just a few in the entire house. I think she likes to buy but doesn't want it in her house, so she enjoys buying it for us. But I hate knick-knacks.

In addition, these things are from HER travels, not mine, so while I might think something is pretty, it really has no meaning to me as it's not a souvenir from MY trip but from hers. I have displayed most of these things in out of the way locations, but one in particular is in our family room. I had to put away something else to make space for it, and every time I look at it, I think how out of place it is because it's not really my style, but if I had bought it to remind me of a trip, I would enjoy seeing it. Something to remind me of someone else's trip, not so enjoyable.

Then don't display it! Your MIL will have to deal. A gift giver can't reasonably expect that a recipient is going to use and LOVE every single gift. How often does your MIL visit?