looking on the bright side

[Anonymous]

I have no idea if this will help anyone else, but I was thinking about it and so I thought I'd post. I spent the entire weekend crying about yet another failed cycle and felt utterly miserable. My DH happened to be going out of town on business this week and I just felt so alone and like the biggest failure on the planet. THEN, I decided I would have a fun week no matter what. (I'm a teacher, so I'm off for the summer). I have since watched two entire seasons of Real Housewives of NYC and have two more on DVR (I highly recommend it! Who knew it was so addicting!), have gone out two nights with friends, and have eaten a ton of fattening food... WHATEVER I wanted, WHENEVER I wanted it. It did strike me while driving home tonight that I am really enjoying my little vacation from life and that I would not be able to do any of this with a child. SO.. just posting this to encourage everyone to look at the silver lining. Obviously, I hope that this process will end with a child, and when that happens I hope that I can look back at the last however many years that I struggled with infertility and knew that I made the best out of my time instead of crying in bed all day. Definitely guilty of the latter at times but it feels so good to be working on the former.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

What an inspirational post! Thank you. I can relate as a 43 year old ttc #1 alone, using donor sperm. It has been 2+ years of failed cycles, sittting out cycles dut to cysts, etc. But like you, with the tears, I also try to smile and LIVE my life and count my blessings, do what I like to do, travel, and, yes, eat my share of fattening food! I am also a teacher. Wishing you the best of luck (and me, too.) Also, remember that good things come to those who wait...at least, I am counting on it. Maybe we can be ttc buddies?

[Anonymous]

I am in the same boat right now, at the end of a long string of IVF failures trying to get #1. I have a lot to me thankful for - great husband, great parents, great friends - but the constant disappointments really take a toll on my ability to stay positive.

I also decided to make an attitude change this week. DH and I decided that we are going to take six months off and not try anything until after the first of the year. Even though it means giving up on six cycles, I feel more relaxed and more postive in the last week than I have for several years. Just the idea that I don't have to expect anything to happen, get my hopes up, go to the doctor three times a week, put other things on hold because I am distracted by trying to have a baby all feels so liberating. I am going to spend the next six months working on some professional goals that I have neglected for too long and we can reassess the situation with clearer heads in a few months.

And -- we are making an offer on a vacation home this week! That is a pretty great distraction and is something we probably wouldn't be doing if we had kids. The long term vision for our lives is still to have cildren. But, in the short term I am going to enjoy filling up my summer home with breakable decorations, sharp-cornered furniture, white rugs, and delicate stemware.