OK, career regrets...

[Anonymous]

Mine is taking on too much professional responsibility while having young children, AND working for small practices (not a lawyer) instead of federal or large organizations with good bennies, especially retirement.
With the children, my work suffered, and I have performed poorly as a professional and a mother.
I have little to show in the end for retirement even though I put away the maximum.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that. My former boss was okay with me wanting to stay at the "level" I currently am at (this is a comfortable level for me and I can meet the demands of both the job and my home life), but my current boss wants me to go to the next level. I am fully competent at my job and I know my clients like me (I get numerous positive responses and my boss has seen them as well). I don't feel that I would do as good a job at the next level. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I regret that I spent so much time on career that I don't have any close friends. I'm trying to rectify that, but my kids are almost out of elementary school, and their friends' parents already have friends. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

No regrets.

[Anonymous]

I am conflicted. I worked/traveled a lot when the kids were young but also made a lot of money that has made us very comfortable. Now that my kids are teens I am backing off on work considerably (in part because I have the ability to do that and still do reasonably well because of the earlier years). But it seems like it is a little too late. Not sure if I could have done it another way and still had career success.

[Anonymous]

I've been mommy-tracked for years, and now at 50 wonder whether I can ramp back up (or whether I even want to).

Sometimes I feel like I'm all washed up and no one will ever hire me again.

[Anonymous]

Things definitely seem different now. I was not aware of all the choices career-wise. I wish I had a better understanding of what I wanted or could do when I was younger. I think when I was younger I suffered a little bit from low self-esteem, which didn't help. I am better in that regard but I still hate to "sell/market" myself. And I have noticed that this generation is a little too good at selling themselves. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things definitely seem different now. I was not aware of all the choices career-wise. I wish I had a better understanding of what I wanted or could do when I was younger. I think when I was younger I suffered a little bit from low self-esteem, which didn't help. I am better in that regard but I still hate to "sell/market" myself. And I have noticed that this generation is a little too good at selling themselves. What do you think?

I hear you. Many times I did the basic truth on interviews and did not get the job, knowing that I could have easily done it. I later find out that some youngster whi interviewed well turned out to be a complete failure, and they regretted the hire....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am conflicted. I worked/traveled a lot when the kids were young but also made a lot of money that has made us very comfortable. Now that my kids are teens I am backing off on work considerably (in part because I have the ability to do that and still do reasonably well because of the earlier years). But it seems like it is a little too late. Not sure if I could have done it another way and still had career success.

i am where you are EXCEPT that I did not acheive financial success after the hard work (bad luck), so now I really have regrets.

[Anonymous]

Well, this is a pretty depressing thread!!
We can always second-guess ourselves, but I hope most of us have done the best we can through the years in making the decisions that seemed in the best interests of our families and ourselves. What is the point of looking back with regret, even if it may be possible to see that a different path might have led to certain positive outcomes?
I regret that humans weren't designed to live 200 or 300 years, because in my 50s I can see that one human lifetime is way too short and the kids grow up way too fast and my body is starting to go downhill way too early, but oh well! All we can do is shrug and figure we've done the best we could without being superhuman and then look forward to making the most of the years ahead of us.

P.S. to 12:14 who wonders if cutting back on work now is too little, too late: It's never too late. I didn't know my father very well during his working years, but we had a fantastic relationship in his retirement/grandfather years. It's always possible to keep building the relationships that matter most to us.

[Anonymous]

Ha! Career? What career? I gave mine up to raise my children. Do I regret it? Well, I wish I had been able to work part time, but I looked and looked, and could not find a way to do it, as there are very few part time jobs in my field. I have a special needs child, so my career turned into taking care of my child, basically a full time job. Now my child is doing very, very well, better than my expectations. That's worth it, but no, I have no career, and I do regret that. I'm well educated and would like to work, but I've applied for a few jobs, and I can't even get an interview. Most of the people who are hiring are far younger than me. Over 50 and all washed up. Makes me feel worthless, frankly.

[Anonymous]

That I didn't work part-time or go back to school when my kids were young. Marriage doesn't always work out.

[Anonymous]

Should have transferred from the interdisciplinary grad program to a traditional discipline. Would have been easier to find an adviser who had the time and knowledge to give me good career advice.

[Anonymous]

Who ever really knows about the road not taken? Sometimes I wish I had listened to my heart and gone on to my PhD when I was young and didn't care so much about being poor. On the other hand, at an earlier age I was interested in different things than I am now. The PhD would have been in a field that doesn't interest me that much anymore. Now I wait for retirement so I can get the degree I really want.

[Anonymous]

As someone who went through a period where I was very unsatisfied with career, etc. I really feel for those of you who write about having regrets. I was there at a younger age - had been hit by a car and sidetracked for a few short (although they seemed long!) years. If you're not satisfied with the way things are, though, it's absolutely possible to change direction. Maybe you have to take baby steps for a while at first, because of financial and/or family constraints, and maybe you'll won't be so thrilled with those interim stages between where you were and where you want to be. But you might be happily surprised at how quickly you're able to end up with a career/life you love. I put in a lot of hard work to make things happen; just didn't want to live a life of regrets.