Am I being overly sensitive when talking to my PG friend?

[Anonymous]

So one of my close friends just became pregnant and keeps calling me saying she needs moral support because she is nauseous and it will be her third child and so she is stressed as she got pregnant sooner then she wanted to be. I recently had a miscarriage and would LOVE to be nauseous right now. She knows about my miscarriage. I want to be a good friend but at the same time feel irritation towards her. I know I can tell her in a nice way how I feel but what I don't understand is how people such as my friend can't figure out that someone who just miscarried might not want to have this discussion with her.

[Anonymous]

Tell her gently this is too hard for you, you're mourning your loss and wish you were nauseous, and you're sorry but your grief is probably making you an unlikely source of support at the moment. It's a matter of timing.

She's imposing on you, I think, and you need to tell her you can't take it. You have to take care of yourself, and give yourself space to grieve. She is not doing that, so she is asking for support that she herself is not giving. I'm sure when you tell her gently, she'll "get it", nausea tends to suppress better instincts.

[Anonymous]

I think she sounds very insensitive. Some people can be quite clueless! I agree with the PP's advice. GL...

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP to tell her gently that its hard for you to hear her complaining about pg symptoms since you'd so love to be pregnant right now. That will hopefully make her do a double take. FWIW, your friend sounds pretty self-absorbed! I feel like most normal people would know not to complain about pregnancy with someone who just went through a hard miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

Hi ladies,
check out this discussion on another site I use a lot http://bridgetobaby.com/forum/topics/how-to-be-happy-for-someone
It is so fitting to this discussion about how to be happy when a friend gets pregnant. Great website too! I really think people who have never had issues with conception have a CLUE as to how we feel! It's so frustrating!!

[Anonymous]

I was in a similar situation and emailed my friend. Told her I'm happy for her but it was hard for me blah blah blah. She got the point. And although I had to see her less frequently (best for me) we're still friends--we just don't talk much about her pregnancy or my lack thereof.

[Anonymous]

How insensitive of her! Just tell her how you feel.