Activities for very shy four year old

[Anonymous]

I have an extremely shy four year old girl. She won't talk to children her age and forget talking to adults. It is stopping her from making new friends, being included in activities, and a lot of times just getting what she needs. I am looking for activities that will bring her out of her shell. Any thoughts? Drama classes, child therapists, etc...

[Anonymous]

oo i want to know, too. especially since she doesnt want to do anything when asked. drama seems like a bad idea-- get her to perform when thats what she hates?

[Anonymous]

Think about what she likes to do -- does she like music, drawing, turning cartwheels, etc. Then I'd sign her up for that activity (art class, gymnastics class) b/c if she enjoys the activity, it may make her more willing to deal with the social interaction part of it, which is clearly stressful for her.

Two specific suggestions are a child yoga class, bc she may actually pick up techniques that help her relax when faced with stressful social scenarios, or martial arts, bc that is a huge confidence booster. I suspect if you can convince a friend to join too it will help at least in the beginning. Also, at least with martial arts, all the parents/babysitters stay and watch so she wouldn't have to deal with a drop off scenario.

[Anonymous]

Agree with martial arts. That and soccer.

[Anonymous]

My DC was this way. You have to give her lots and lots of practice and exposure. Take her to the mall and let her pay for an ice cream, small toy, etc. Take her to the park and sit there while she watches other kids. Set small goals, like "I'll sit here and you go to the the swings." "I'll sit here and you slide on the slide". Later you can see if she will ask another child if she can play. Don't push it and try not to make her feel like there's something wrong with her- it's just her temperament. We did a social skills class and CBT with a therapist and I think that also helped.

We did tennis instead of martial arts but I second the idea of starting with a sport and sticking with it until your DC is accomplished. This helped my son enormously.

My DC is now 10 and still quiet and reserved, but has a lot of self confidence, is well liked, and has several friends.

[Anonymous]

Hello, I don't know where you leave but I have a 4 year old myself and we use to go the library, story time, mall and hanging around the city.

[Anonymous]

My dd was like that and (for other reasons also) we had her tested for sensory issues by an OT. The OT therapy has made a huge difference to her self-esteem. She's still shy and doesn't much like big groups of kids and doesn't talk to adults she doesn't know, but she's far more comfortable in her own skin.

[Anonymous]

Any activity she is good at and enjoys. (Art? ballet? story time?Whatever!) I think the key is being engaged/confident, whatever the activity may be---which will only help her make friends in that environment with other children she has something in common with.

[Anonymous]

Tae kwon do can be good because they are not required to be social and yet they build confidence and interact in a predictable and structured way.

[Anonymous]

I was going to suggest dance or martial arts too. Those activities have a lot of "listening to the teacher" time while still getting her out and about with more children. Slowly she'll probably become comfortable to interact more but the focus in those settings is not forced cooperative activity.

[Anonymous]

OP Here -- This is so helpful! Thank you for all of the positive feedback!!