Objectification

[Anonymous]

Do you think that at a certain point, fawning over an infant or child's beauty tends toward objectification? Please don't reply along the lines of "too much time on your hands OP!" I'm just curious. I'm talking about lines from strangers like "Real knockout!" about a 7 month old.

[Anonymous]

No, I think people appreciate beauty and one of the most universally appealing types of beauty is that of a baby. Plus, an infant in particular can't do much else other than be cute. Especially in passing.

[Anonymous]

Objectification means that you are overlooking a person's real qualities and treating the person as an object -- just a thing of beauty. Treating a woman as a sex object means you overlook her personality, her mind, her interests etc.

I'm not really sure how fawning over an infant could be considered objectification: "She's so cute, look at the little dimples, what a great smile, look at that adorable tush." You are admiring all the qualities of the infant there are to notice...looks, personality, disposition, weight. I'm not sure what else you would notice, OP. Do you feel that people overlook your infants real qualities when they fawn over her?

[Anonymous]

I think it is important for kids to hear how great they are in all regards. I think it is especially important for girls to not only always be told how pretty they are. I think this can lead to them thinking this is all they have going for themselves. I always try to make an effort to tell kids how funny, smart, nice, etc. they are and not just how cute they are.

[Anonymous]

Haha yes, (op here) I know it's silly but when I catch myself doing it, I say "oh and you're clever and so well-behaved" etc. I don't really see it as a problem, although for older kids, it could be. Just wondered what others thought.

[Anonymous]

I tend to focus on their achievements in the workplace.

Then when I am done with that, I say how cute they are.

[Anonymous]

13:47 again. Sometimes I will make a comment like "She looks so wise, she looks like an old soul." But I worry that some moms might interpret that as a "cover" for an ugly baby...

[Anonymous]

With a child I think it definitely can. Especially with little girls. Babies, though, are crummy conversationalists, frankly, and cute is one thing they've got going for them.

[Anonymous]

I think it is weird when people comment on how gorgeous my son is. I hope he doesn't turn into a total mimbo! Some business jerk with slicked back hair that likes to date stupid blondes...shiver.

[Anonymous]

14:48: People tell me all the time how beautiful my daughter is. Even when HE is wearing what looks to me like "boy clothes". (he's a toddler)

That said, the nanny taught him to "clean" by wiping surfaces with a rag. So now people can complement his unskilled labor skills too.

[Anonymous]

At 7 months old there's not a ton else to say. When your kid gets older and really is charming, smart, kind, etc., you won't have any trouble complimenting those qualities.