Advice Needed: DS/ Sports/ Private Schools

[Anonymous]

My almost seven year old DS will be in the second grade next year at a large DC independent school. He is a complete sports nut -- attending pro/ college games, reading about games, playing games. So far, he has participated in organized t-ball, soccer and basketball, and has taken swimming lessons. He enjoys it all and is reasonably good at all of them, primarily because he is persistent and plays with "a lot of heart," as they say in the sports world. He's not going to be a super big kid and does not come from a particularly athletic family (hence my lack of confidence/ knowledge in this area), so we're also not relying on any superstar genes to kick in.

I hear a lot of talk from moms of older boys at his school about kids "finding their sport" by the time they are in 4th or 5th. I'm trying to figure out what this means, what is expected and how we can help him do so. Is it best to just let him keep playing in all of these, and see what he naturally gravitates to? What about introducing him to sports that we aren't really familiar with? For example, some boys at his school are already taking lessons in things like lacrosse and ice hockey. (DH and I grew up in the south a hundred years ago and basically know nothing about either of these.) Also, what about life-long sports like tennis, golf and skiing? DH and I have enjoyed all of these at various times in adulthood but didn't start participating in them until our 20's. And I can only assume that they start things like this at much younger ages now.

I admit to a personal bias for track and field, because I loved that in high school, but of course nothing was as involved, expensive or competitive then (especially for girls) as it is for boys now. I also don't want to let my ignorance or negative perceptions about certain sports like lax (just rich white kids who do this to the exclusion of everything else?) affect his choices.

So, parents of middle/ high school boys in independent schools -- what advice would you give us at this point? And also, how important is participation the local sports scene to success and happiness in the private school world?

[Anonymous]

There are big industries built around kids' sports, offering year-round opportunities if a kid specializes in one particular sport. Unless a kid really gravitates to one, though, I think it's better for his personal and athletic development to play different sports in every season, and to enjoy recreational athletics outside of competitive leagues.

The parents who advise you to find your son's sport are probably plotting to focus on one sport in the hopes that it will lead to a scholarship. That goal isn't realistic for most kids, so there's no reason to narrow their experience and deepen your investment that way.

[Anonymous]

This will sort itself out.

Give him an opportunity to play. Soccer, basketball, lacrosse and (gasp!) even football. Golf and tennis are great too.

Just make sure these are positive experiences.

These sports build on one another. Basketball, for example (and baseball) are great for building "hand-eye" coordination.

By the time he gets to 4th or 5th grade it'll be pretty obvious what he is best suited for and what he enjoys the most.

It'll also be obvious what level he can play at. The high visibility sports attract the best athletes. The second tier sports have fewer of them.

A dedicated kid can build a lot of skills and skills are very important. But as they get older and the competition gets tougher then physical attributes (size, speed, strentgh and coordination) become increasingly important.

Do you have a basketball goal in the driveway? Is there a wall he can bounce a baseball against or a lacrosse ball?

Genes are funny things. I have seen some very athletic boys with very unathletic parents. And I have seen some parents with stellar athletic credentials whose kids are not so gifted.