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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Awful Mother's Day. Am I married to a selfish jerK?
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Anonymous
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My DH had some things blow up at work over the weekend and wasn't able to do anything for Mother's day. Our kids are both under 2 so I would have expected him to organize something like flowers, a small gift or even a card. Nothing. My Mother's day was spent by myself changing diapers. I tried not to be mad because his weekend was crazy. But I kept thinking he could have planned better and had the gift ordered earlier in the week. Yesterday he took a long lunch and ended up shopping at Target and came home with a bag full of things for himself like shaving cream, a CD, socks, etc. Today I am fuming. He was at Target and didn't even get a token card or a box of candy. Am I expecting too much? I can't help but to think he's a selfish jerk. Last Father's day I got him all kinds of gifts and made a big deal about it. I cooked him his favorite dinner and didn't expect him to help with the kids. I honestly can't tell you what he did for my first Mother's day. I'm just really feeling under appreciated right now.
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Anonymous
| Have you told him how you feel? |
Anonymous
No. Because he'll blow it off and make up some excuss about being too busy and then I'll really get pissed off. This is what he does. |
Anonymous
| Then yes, you married a selfish jerk. Lower your expectations. |
Anonymous
| I think you need to get some perspective here and realize what is really important and what is just a Hallmark holiday. Just don't bother doing anything for Father's Day. It could just be that for him stuff like this is not a big deal. It isn't for many people. |
Anonymous
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He is a jerk. You deserve better. Seriously. No effort? Not acceptable.
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Anonymous
That's what you should tell yourself because something like this is not enough to get divorced over but if he also has other issues, yes, you have license to brand him selfish jerk. |
Anonymous
| I am so sorry! He sounds preoccupied, and yes i would be Pissed! but i would also say something if it were my husband. I also think you should go buy YOURSELF a mother's day gift for being a great mom. You should splurge and buy yourself a massage, and make an appt for a saturday when your hubby can be with the kids. That might make it a little better! |
Anonymous
Hey maybe OPs "Hallmark holiday" meant something to her so shut up! It is not unrealistic to expect something at all and pp ALOT of ppl value this day. Just bc you dont like it or don't have ppl to treat you special does not mean you need to say rude things like it's not a big deal. Obviously it was to OP! |
Anonymous
| Some men really don't understand how important some things are to us. My husband is fantastic, but if I hint around at something, he totally doesn't get it. I need to tell him point blank what I'm expecting, or there's no chance he picked up the hints. Some men just aren't programmed to think about getting gifts for you from your children. Talk to him and let him know how you're feeling, what you would've loved, and wait for next year. If you don't say anything, it won't change. You need to let him know how you feel. |
Anonymous
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How on earth is he expected to understand that this means so much to you if you don't say anything???
Please don't be a doormat. Communication is absolutely key in a healthy relationship. The whole romantic notion that your significant other should just divine your needs does not work long-term, sorry to burst your bubble. Since Mother's Day is pretty un-missable, you should blow up on him. Bulldoze over any feeble excuses. Say that you require an easy token of appreciation for every Mother's Day in the future: a card, a box of chocolates, some flowers, a restaurant, help with the children, etc. And for this Mother's Day, demand a make-up! It's not about the basely commercial origins of this day. It's about not taking you for granted. |
Anonymous
Hey, maybe my man treat's me like a princess EVERYDAY so I don't need a card on a Hallmark holiday. Alot of ppl don't care bout this crap. Plus you telling ppl to "shut up" IS RUDE! |
Anonymous
Sure he does . So you are now RUDE and a LIAR! Nice try I dont believe you and feel sorry you have to make mean comments to a women asking for some compassion. So SHUT UP!!! |
Anonymous
I was giving her some great advice for free about how this aint no big thing. Then you come in with your "SHUT UP" and "LIAR" like you some kind of INTERNET PO-PO. Well guess what you aint no INTERNET PO PO SO YOU SHUT UP!!!! And for your information my man does treat me like a PRINCESS. Even though he got other ladies HE ALWAYS COME BACK TO ME! |
Anonymous
Ummm, what? Seriously? Please go away. |