Is there a right time to "put down" a newborn?

[Anonymous]

New mother of a 1 month old here looking for advice. I know babies this young don't really have a set schedule for night time and we aren't expecting one. However, I would like to begin a night time routine of bathing, reading a book, rocking, etc. and then putting him down (until he needs to wake up again for the next feeding). What time do you recommend for this? We've been trying between 7-8pm (with wake-ups around 10, 2, and 6 - not always this coordinated) and have no idea if that's an appropriate time.

[Anonymous]

That sounds about right, and is what we did with both our kids. However, we started the bed routine at around 6/6:30pm and had baby down 'for the night" by 7/7:30pm with wakeups at 2-3 hr intervals and slowly decreasing in occurrence.

[Anonymous]

OP here - sorry, one more question. As typical in this area, my husband has a terrible commute and usually doesn't get home until around 7pm. I am worried he'll never get to spend time with the baby unless we start things much later. Can anyone shed some light on how they made this work if you're in the same situations?

[Anonymous]

I started at midnight - my bed time and baby slowly started asking for it earlier. Now, at 10 months we're doing it at 7pm and baby goes straight down until 8am.

[Anonymous]

12:02 here and that's one of the reasons why we started later. DH is back home at around 7 30 so the late night worked well for us.

[Anonymous]

We tried to do early evening (around 7:00) but our baby really didn't settle down at that age until at least 9:00 or 10:00. We have been able to gradually move the time earlier and he is going down at around 8:00 now (at 3.5 months). And, he is now sleeping for 4-6 hour stretches instead of 3-4. It is fine to start a bedtime routine now but we found it was more for us because he just wasn't ready yet.

[Anonymous]

12:00 poster here. With our first, we definitely had days, weeks where DH would only see the baby during the night wakings, and in the mornings/weekends. He started working from home once a week so he could see the baby in the evening more. With our second, we had perfected DH's schedule so he arrives home a little earlier/leaves in the am a little earler, and that way he gets about an hour or so with baby before baby goes to bed. It has not made a difference in his relationship with either baby. Our first is now 3 and sees DH much more. Remember, with babies...it's all a phase...schedules change, and you can adjust as they get a few months older. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - sorry, one more question. As typical in this area, my husband has a terrible commute and usually doesn't get home until around 7pm. I am worried he'll never get to spend time with the baby unless we start things much later. Can anyone shed some light on how they made this work if you're in the same situations?

Sorry to say it, but he's probably not going to see your LO at night that much. Not a big deal though. My DH shifted his hours so that he goes in later and comes home around 8-8:30. I wait for him to eat so we still spend time together, and then he handles everything in the morning (he goes in around 9:30, so he gets to feed her breakfast, etc.). Its not ideal and he'll probably start working from home in the evenings in a year or so once DD is 2 and can appreciate a family dinner, but it works for us!

[Anonymous]

Please don't put down your baby. The LO deserves life.

Just kidding, after all these years I still can't get past that phrase! We are not euthanizing them, just putting them to bed!

[Anonymous]

PP here -- not to mention the issues with babies "going down." ugh!

[Anonymous]

Whew! For a second there, it thought it was something else.

[Anonymous]

Never unless you're in China and your DC is a girl.

[Anonymous]

I think we used to put DS "down for the night" at that age at around 10 PM-- then I *might* get to sleep until 2, etc. However, that time kept creeping back earlier and earlier. He is now 2 and goes to bed at 7:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - sorry, one more question. As typical in this area, my husband has a terrible commute and usually doesn't get home until around 7pm. I am worried he'll never get to spend time with the baby unless we start things much later. Can anyone shed some light on how they made this work if you're in the same situations?

Have DH get up earlier in the morning to spend time with the baby before work. You really need to work with the baby's schedule rather than the other way around. Read Weissbluth for further info on why this is important. You may end up with a baby who naturally prefers a bedtime of 8 or 9 p.m., but it's unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - sorry, one more question. As typical in this area, my husband has a terrible commute and usually doesn't get home until around 7pm. I am worried he'll never get to spend time with the baby unless we start things much later. Can anyone shed some light on how they made this work if you're in the same situations?

Have DH get up earlier in the morning to spend time with the baby before work. You really need to work with the baby's schedule rather than the other way around. Read Weissbluth for further info on why this is important. You may end up with a baby who naturally prefers a bedtime of 8 or 9 p.m., but it's unusual.

Definite this. One part of the book gives a diagram that shows that almost all babies are asleep between 6-8pm...probably starting around 3-4 months. That means bedtime routines most likely start between 5:30 and 7:30 or so. And DC really is the one to tell you when it's time, not DH's schedule. My DH had to adjust his work schedule because DD really couldnt stay up past 6:30/6:45 by the age of 4-5 months. Still at 15 months she is asleep on most nights around 7pm. At one month, though, there is definitely a bit more flexibility.