Help with undiagnosed spectrum issues, advice?

[Anonymous]

DS is going into kindergarten this year, definitely has some issues, took him to therapist on recommendation of preschool teacher. She suspected aspergers. Therapist said she thought he only showed signs of sensory disorder (auditory) and slow to warm up/transition.
The preschool teacher still said she thought more was going to come up after enter school so I have been interested to see what happens. We went to the orientation for school and it was a nightmare! I had to blink back tears the entire time seeing how different he was. No one could get him to go in the classroom with the other kids, he just wanted to inspect the rooms and everything that was on the walls. I felt awful for not knowing to go early to let him warm up-I wish I had. He connected with the teachers and had some great conversations with them, but had no interest in joining the kids. Needless to say I missed the entire orientation, I am afraid he is going to labelled a problem child since it's almost impossible to get him to listen or follow directions unless he is in the mood, or ready to do whatever is being asked of him...
I feel like at least if he were diagnosed with something concrete the teachers will know he isn't just being obstinate. Once he warmed up it seemed fine but he was never evaluated (if that's what they were doing).
I was surprised they didn't have other kids that were hesitant to go with the group of kids separate from their parents, maybe they eventually give in-not my guy, he is very rigid in these things.
Any advice or input?
Btw-I love this forum, so much support and great advice, without all the nastiness and judgment the other forums seem to have

[Anonymous]

Get him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Once you know what you are dealing with and can give him the appropriate interventions you (and he -- he knows he's different) will feel much better. I don't know what kind of therapist you saw (an OT?) but sensory integration is not a medical diagnosis and this is an example of how using that term can prevent parents from getting the right diagnosis.

Its better to know than to stew. And once you know it really truly gets better.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, that's exactly the problem. I am stewing over this-not that I am dreading a diagnosis, I am dreading missing something and him just thinking something is wrong with himself. I just saw a regular child psychologist, and I am not sure where the difference is between just being quirky or something actually going on. I want to enjoy these years with him and I want to be able to help him enjoy them as well instead of being anxious all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP. We had very similar issues throughout preschool, our teachers saw it, and we saw it too. At 4, we went through Child Find in FCPS. We did not make it past local screening (where they determine if further testing is warranted). In his last preschool year this year, his social/emotional issues seemed to be even more obvious, I think as many were outgrowing what once seemed to be typical, but at 5, now begin to be age inappropriate. Our issues are entirely social/emotional. Anyway, our school (private preschool) requested that we start the Child Find process again in November. We did, and this time, the Local Screening committee ordered loads of further testing. Seemed they were finally seeing what the preschool teachers and I had seen all along. The whole process just finished up in April, and it ended up that all speech/hearing, language testing was passed. His scores on the cognitive tests were average-above average. By all measures of social/emotional functioning (measured by observation by a county psychologist, interviews with his teacher and I, and substantial questionnaires by his teacher and I) he was well below normal. As a result, he was found eligibile for special education services. We have his IEP tomorrow. Last week, a special education teacher at his rising K school, and a special ed preschool teacher went to his preschool to observe him to help draw up the IEP. I will know more tomorrow exactly what will be put into place for him.

For us, the LCSW we have been working with for play therapy, as well as the county psychologist both felt we are dealing with Asperger's as well. Not a formal diagnosis, but both listed it, so that we know what we are likely dealing with. We also set up an appt. with a dev pediatrician in June, just to get some more advice.

Have you gone through the county Early intervention or child find process yet? If not, I would also get the ball rolling on that now.

All this said, I do not think that a child not wanting to separate at a K orientation is very unusual at all. As a former ES teacher, it is rather common. I know where you are though..and am there with you

[Anonymous]

Thank you, it sounds almost exactly like what is happening with us. I have not tried Child Find yet since I was hoping he would outgrow some of these tendencies, plus every so often you think "thats not so out of the ordinary" but I am feeling like the sooner we can get him help the better.
Good luck!

[Anonymous]

11:00 here. Had a really positive experience with the IEP meeting today. They gave us 3 large global goals, and numerous objectives under each. To help him meet these goals there will be certain strategies implemented in his class, and in addition he will receive 10 hours of services per week from the special ed staff, either by pull in, our in the spec. ed small group for social skills groups. They also said we will reconvene 1 month into school to reassess how he has adjusted.

I hear you on the idea that they will grow out of it. With social issues, that is the tricky part. I do not often try to compare my 3 children (one older, one younger), they are all different, as they should be. However, when my 3 year old dd, far surpassed her 5 year old brother with regard to social skills, it became more clear to me that perhaps there was something else at play. That and the fact that all my tried and true tactics for behavior modification were not working...at all....

Wishing you the best. I think early intervention is always helpful. I have found the county process to be very enlightening.