Sometimes I am so glad that none of the crap in the Schools Threads applies to me

[Anonymous]

The unbelievable competition for preschool spots; the packed-with-kids kindergartens; the my three year old doesn't know all his sight words; the up county vs. down county crapola contest. I just sometimes feel like the sweet spot of having a special needs child is not having to sweat all that.

[Anonymous]

It does give me some perspective on all that competitive parenting out there.

[Anonymous]

I can understand why you might feel some relief but I have to stay that I wouldn't buy into that contest in the first place. I'm probably in the minority here but even before I knew my kids had special needs, I firmly believed (and still do) that they can get a quality education and find success in life without buying into all that competitive BS.

[Anonymous]

That sense of relief is only really there if your kid doesn't have major special needs and the education system isn't failing him or her. I have three kids - one who is so very average and would never be accepted at a competitive school and needs nothing special in public school to make him successful, one who is minor/moderat special needs and a third who is so ridiculously advanced that I find it harder to figure out what to do than I do with my special needs one. It's the average kid who is the real sweet spot because there is not much I can do to either make things better or screw things up.

[Anonymous]

I have two twice exceptional kids -- the worst of both worlds. My kids are slow, have LDs and attention issues but incredibly bright and academically advanced. Both are in GT. The competitiveness of their classmates and parents drives me insane; they talk as if the only road to happiness is through TJ and the Ivy League. My 13-year old has a friend whose mother slapped her when she got a B on a test. Another friend who talks of killing herself if she doesn't get into TJ. And yet another who studies the SAT prep book during lunch -- and she's only in 7th grade! There doesn't seem to be a place for kids who are bright, deep thinkers -- but slower paced, learning disabled, and not competitively driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sense of relief is only really there if your kid doesn't have major special needs and the education system isn't failing him or her. I have three kids - one who is so very average and would never be accepted at a competitive school and needs nothing special in public school to make him successful, one who is minor/moderat special needs and a third who is so ridiculously advanced that I find it harder to figure out what to do than I do with my special needs one. It's the average kid who is the real sweet spot because there is not much I can do to either make things better or screw things up.

OP here -- actually, my daughter has major special needs -- wheelchair, augmentative communication device, and more. But so far, we are not being failed. I take what you mean into account though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two twice exceptional kids -- the worst of both worlds. My kids are slow, have LDs and attention issues but incredibly bright and academically advanced. Both are in GT. The competitiveness of their classmates and parents drives me insane; they talk as if the only road to happiness is through TJ and the Ivy League. My 13-year old has a friend whose mother slapped her when she got a B on a test. Another friend who talks of killing herself if she doesn't get into TJ. And yet another who studies the SAT prep book during lunch -- and she's only in 7th grade! There doesn't seem to be a place for kids who are bright, deep thinkers -- but slower paced, learning disabled, and not competitively driven.

Yes, that's exactly what I mean! Sometimes I feel so fortunate that I don't have jump on that train or even think of being part of that. I mean, I want my SN kid to go to college -- I expect all my kids to go to college. But we will be looking at colleges probably in terms of disability access, not for some Ivy League dream school.

[Anonymous]

I have more mixed feelings. I don't buy into (most of) the educational craziness that you see on the schools thread, but sometimes I admit I wish DS had the capabilities - intellectual and social - that enable kids to go that route. DS has ADHD, anxiety, and probable LDs. With an IEP, some great teachers, and medication, he's had a very good year at school and made a lot of progress (he's finishing second grade). But I remember thinking way back in preschool, before we had a handle on these issues, that there was no way DS could interview for the privates -- he's extremely shy/anxious and would never have been able to make it through the interviews, because he's just not at all talkative/outgoing with most adults. Over time, it's gotten better but, apart from the issues, this is just the way he is personality-wise.

We live in VA, I attended outstanding public schools as a child etc. and so, I really don't believe in/get the privates and the intense desire they engender in parents. The public school DS attends is great and he's getting the kind of education we want for him. And apart from the issues, he's different in lots of ways -- very interested in art and the arts.

In addition, the public school DS attends is very diverse in lots of ways (which makes him stand out less on several levels) and, although I grew up in a very well-off area, I wouldn't want to put DS in the type of bubble that the top privates create.

But as I said at the beginning of the comment, I wish things weren't so much of a struggle for DS. Even though it's not always easy, it also makes me appreciate how hard he's had to work to make the kind of progress he's made.