Who here is regularly supporting their adult children financially?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am what you would call working poor, and still help my adult kids though they never ask me to. I mostly buy clothes for grandchildren, school/art supplies, send like $50 to buy new shoes, etc. My own kids have nice jobs and average incomes but kids are SO expensive, and with childcare, mortgage, after school, paid activities, food prices as they are, at the end they have less disposable income than I do. It gives me pleasure to give, even if only little.

My mom was just like this even though we made more than her. She didn’t have any hobbies - it made her happy. I miss her.

[Anonymous]

Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plead the Fifth

Please stop doing this,

My younger cousins get help with living expenses from their grandmother and I never did. My parents use this to bully me into buying real estate that I cannot afford on my own with no help every time I see them.

This has ruined holidays. They can’t understand how someone making $15/hour can afford a one bedroom in NYC and I can only afford a 2 bedroom living in DC making 300k.

Every time I explain how common this is that other people do this, they call me entitled.

Finally I said the topic is off limits until they hand me a big check and told them that I never asked for their opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I plead the Fifth

Please stop doing this,

My younger cousins get help with living expenses from their grandmother and I never did. My parents use this to bully me into buying real estate that I cannot afford on my own with no help every time I see them.

This has ruined holidays. They can’t understand how someone making $15/hour can afford a one bedroom in NYC and I can only afford a 2 bedroom living in DC making 300k.

Every time I explain how common this is that other people do this, they call me entitled.

Finally I said the topic is off limits until they hand me a big check and told them that I never asked for their opinion.

That is your parents problem, not an anonymous posters problem. My in-laws kept asking why we never traveled with them like their friends kids do. We kept point out that their friends were funding the trips for their kids. At first I don’t think they believed us, but then asked around and lo and behold we were right. When they invited us on a trip they funded, we accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

[Anonymous]

After college, nothing.
They're all fine. Two of them own homes and two are about to purchase. One of those has 100k saved as a down payment. Not sure about the other.
They're in their low 30s and live well beneath their means.
They all graduated college with no debt. We paid for half, one used the GI bill to finish, two had athletic scholarships and one started at a community college but finished at a University and paid whatever he had left by working during college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

What if your child asked you to give them a 400K downpayment and that they'll get a loan for their education instead? What if they said that they will go into public service so that their student loans will be forgiven after 10 years? Would you still say no to helping with a downpayment?

I'm glad you're grateful for your family's help but it feels a bit hypocritical to read your post about how you received 400K in family money for education but that people who may have only received 200K in family money for education and 200K in family money for a downpayment are entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

And I would never expect my parents to buy my first car nor pay 100% of my education. Everyone has different views on what counts as entitlement--seemingly usually tied to whatever their parents did for them being the "right" amount and everything more than that excessive...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

Why don’t you see how things go before you make a decision to be just like mom and dad. Your children are unique just like all children. As long as you’re not rigid and understand that things might go differently and be prepared to change your plan if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

Why don’t you see how things go before you make a decision to be just like mom and dad. Your children are unique just like all children. As long as you’re not rigid and understand that things might go differently and be prepared to change your plan if needed.

I don't plan to be rigid if there is some major issue and a child needs help, but I plan to use my money and good fortune to facilitate self-sufficiency for my children through education rather than giving them money to buy something like a house. Conceptually, it's "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." That's the idea. Give them a great home life and education, expose them to opportunities, and let them rise to their potential. I don't intend to supplement their lifestyle because they choose a low-paying profession, for example. Frankly, I'm not wealthy, and I plan to enjoy my retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

Why don’t you see how things go before you make a decision to be just like mom and dad. Your children are unique just like all children. As long as you’re not rigid and understand that things might go differently and be prepared to change your plan if needed.

I don't plan to be rigid if there is some major issue and a child needs help, but I plan to use my money and good fortune to facilitate self-sufficiency for my children through education rather than giving them money to buy something like a house. Conceptually, it's "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." That's the idea. Give them a great home life and education, expose them to opportunities, and let them rise to their potential. I don't intend to supplement their lifestyle because they choose a low-paying profession, for example. Frankly, I'm not wealthy, and I plan to enjoy my retirement.

I see no difference it giving money for a house vs. funding education. Either of these things will make a huge and positive difference in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people I know in their late 20s and early 30s (I am 31) got their parents to either cosign mortgages in the last few years or provide the down payment. The majority of these people have graduate or professional degrees, are working and are married or engaged. This was especially true if they had a baby. The grandparents seem to be horrified by the idea that their grandchild would live in a rental townhouse.

My siblings and I are in our thirties. We all bought homes without parental help. Frankly, we didn't need it. Our parents paid for 100% of our education and bought us our first car (one of my siblings is still driving hers), and we all got graduate + level degrees and started our careers making very good money with no debt. It did not take long to save for a down payment. We also waited to have children until our early thirties, and we all married people with similar work ethic. There is so much entitlement on this board. It is antithetical to how I was raised. I am grateful that I got a free education and would never expect my parents to chip in on a down payment or fund my portion of a family vacation.

This can cost a lot more than a down payment and parents need to acquire the funds a lot sooner. I'm 99.99% positive that you went to college + grad school before you considered buying real property. I'm curious how much your parents paid towards education + living expenses during that time versus the amount you put up for your down payment.

Good point. I am the PP, and my parents' business was successful early, so they were in a position to help. Between college + graduate school, they paid over $400,000 and bought me my first car, which I drove for over 10 years. As a result, I was able to save and buy a home in my twenties. I was also in a position to aggressively fund my kids' 529 plans starting at birth. It is a privilege started by my parents, and I am grateful; I plan to take the same approach for my kids (fully fund their education and first car, but no cash gifts after they are done with school).

Why don’t you see how things go before you make a decision to be just like mom and dad. Your children are unique just like all children. As long as you’re not rigid and understand that things might go differently and be prepared to change your plan if needed.

I don't plan to be rigid if there is some major issue and a child needs help, but I plan to use my money and good fortune to facilitate self-sufficiency for my children through education rather than giving them money to buy something like a house. Conceptually, it's "Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." That's the idea. Give them a great home life and education, expose them to opportunities, and let them rise to their potential. I don't intend to supplement their lifestyle because they choose a low-paying profession, for example. Frankly, I'm not wealthy, and I plan to enjoy my retirement.

I see no difference it giving money for a house vs. funding education. Either of these things will make a huge and positive difference in their lives.

I agree. Especially when the cost of private school + graduate school can easily be 500K nowadays, which is also the cost of the average home in America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care what anyone thinks. We help not only our kids but siblings and grandchildren too.
It's rough right now and if they need and we can help we will.
Some of you people are so selfish. Is it a DC thing to be like that ?

I think it’s a dc status thing. They have money but if they help out their loved ones it will affect their finances, maybe drop that fancy vacation, while the truly wealthy can help children and grandchildren and it doesn’t make a dent in their net worth.